#something moved

It’s because I had the glasses on still. The shame goggles. The masking lens. The eyes that look out for anything that could be perceived as slightly abnormal and put the red flags up, tell me “this is unacceptable and you should think it’s wrong and bad.” And it’s so hard to realize when it’s the glasses talking vs the real me. Because it’s not a simple on-or-off; they go in bits and pieces. And I’ll think I’ve removed them entirely only to realize no, shards of glasses glass are still very much there clouding my vision. God, it’s so hard to tell sometimes. But it’s a rare thing for me that I cry without meaning to, when I’m alone. It’s rare crying takes me by surprise when I’m the only one in the room. So I think it’s safe to say this means something