We see you.
Summary: in the ER, constant noise and constant movement is to be expected. You stand under the fluorescent lights and you notice the little things and the little moments. You try to help them see it too.
Alternatively: an expansion of this.
A/n: I got invaded by the brain worms.
Robby really did not want to be here.
He doesn't really mean the ER, but he also means the ER. The hospital is also a place he doesn't want to be in, nor does he want to be having a pointless conversation/with Gloria and he definitely does not want to be here today of all days. He finds himself not wanting a lot of things lately, and he definitely doesn't want to be here, or anywhere for that matter.
He shows up nonetheless.
"You are always telling me how short staffed you are and how swamped thing get in here, now that I am bringing you a solution, you object?" Gloria tilts her head, brows furrowed, like this is unreasonable, like he is unreasonable.
"I told you to hire more nurses, not bring in another attending." Robby shoots back, grabbing a tablet from the stand at the nurses’ station. His grip is tighter than it needs to be. He wants this conversation over. Yesterday.
He doesn't get what he wants. Never does.
"She was the best in her program and she did a year of surgery interning before she switch to emergency medicine. She is very smart and she will help you plenty."
A laugh tumbles out of him before he can stop it, Dana glances over, one eyebrow raised.
"you are singing her praises."
He tries to walk away but she stands infront of him, regarding him with a serious expression.
"When have you ever known me to do that? She is good and she will be helpful."
"No one told me about this."
"Well, I am telling you now. today is her first day." She informs him, walking away,"and for the love of god, try to up those patient satisfaction rates."
"How can I do that when we don't have enough nurses." He calls after her.
He already can feel a headache forming behind his eyes and as he stands near the nurses station, Dana is watching him again, that look she gets when she thinks she’s figured something out. He knows this day will be a problem, he just knows it.
"What?" He snaps irritably.
"Nothing." She says, lifting her hand up in surrender,"it is just that you're very worked up about this."
"Its ridiculous, with the salary that they paid her they could have hired more nurses and we would be better off." He says, rubbing his nose bridge.
Dana hums unimpressed."do you really believe that or are you just mad you weren’t asked?"
He feels the heat rising up his neck, and his head pounds harder,
"do you know where abbot is, we need to do the rounds."
Dana laughs softly, shaking her head,"he's out for fresh air."
"Thanks." He says, walking away."page me when the newbie comes?"
"You know it."
Robby doesn’t wait for Dana to say anything else. He’s already moving, already done with the fluorescent lights, the noise, the constant pull of voices, and it's not even the middle of the day yet. The ER feels louder today, sharper, like every sound is angled straight at his skull.
He takes the elevator, he looks at the number of floors going up as he ponders this whole thing, a new attending. Someone he does not know is in his ER. Someone he has to watch out for and to watch, to anticipate any mistakes that they could do.
The elevator dings and he is pulled out of his thoughts.
He goes to the exit leading up the roof and takes the stairs. His knee aches and he morns the age where he didn't have such problems bothering him at all.
The door to the roof slams behind him as he takes the view, the air is cooler. Quieter. The city stretches out in front of him, washed in early light. For a second, it almost feels like space to breathe.the sun rising up and the clouds in the sky.
Also, the view of his friend on the edge behind the safety fence.
"Morning, jack." He calls out. And the man turns to glance at him from over his shoulder.
"What are you doing here?" Jack asks. Hands in his pockets. Robby mirrors him.
"I am working, and you?"
"Oh I don't know, had a guy coming in, hit by a drunk driver on the cross walk, 39 year old vet. Survived three tours without a scratch. I spent the last two hours coding him."
This kind of thing always puts jack on edge, brings him back to the days that he thinks are behind him. Robby sees these small reminders and they always grind on him.
"That's always a rough way to end the night."
"I must've had a reason at one time to keep coming back, I can't think of it right now." he sighs, defeated, leaning slightly to the front.
"Because this is the job that keeps on giving....Nightmares, ulcers, suicidal tendencies." Robby says the last one pointedly and jack scoffs.
“Besides,” Robby adds, “if you jump on my shift, that’s just rude.”
Jack sigh deeply crossing back to the other side of the fence"I hope I am never one of your patients."
"That makes two of us, my friend."
…………………………………………
The elevator hums as it descends, the kind of low mechanical vibration that settles into your bones if you stand still long enough. Robby doesn’t. He shifts his weight from one leg to the other, jaw tight, eyes fixed on the glowing numbers ticking down. The are in the middle of discussing cases when his pager rings, he groans loud enough to cut abbot off in his talking
"What?" Jack asks. And Robby shakes his head,
"A new attending is starting today." He grunts out,"Gloria hired her to help you and me with the case loads when I said we are short staffed."
"What, instead of nurses? How does that make sense." Jack scoffs
"Tell me about it. She just blind sided me this morning."
"That is tough luck for you." Abbot coos."you also have the new med students and interns starting today."
"Lucky, Lucky me."
Dana spots them immediately. Of course she does. She always does.
“There you are,” she calls, not looking up from the chart she’s holding. “Your new attending is here.”
Robby slows, something in his chest tightening ,not anticipation, not even irritation. Something sharper. Like bracing for something bad to happen.
“Great,” he mutters, not meaning it.
And then...
He sees you.
You’re standing near the nurses’ station, posture relaxed but not careless, like you belong in the space without needing to prove it. Few things jump at him from quickly glancing at you. Chief among them is how young you are to be a fully fledged attending and the second...
How much you don't belong.
You are wearing a white coat, your hair pulled back, not a strand out of place despite the humidity of the place. You are wearing a button down and pants, and…
Heels.
You are wearing heels in the ER.
Beside him, abbot stops walking. No slowing down just abruptly stops. Robby half turns to look at him and the look on Jacks face makes him do a double take.
In all the years that Michael Robinavitch knew Jack Abbot, he never seen such a look on his face.
He looks like he has seen a dead person walking.
"It's not possible." Jack breaths. Voice nearly gone.
"What's up with you?" Robby asks. But Jack ignores him and starts walking again and he has no choice but play catch up. You turn around, and he has to brace himself a bit because you are breathtaking, your face takes him out of the room for a bit and he can't focus on anything. Your eyes catch the light in a way that feels intentional, even when it shouldn’t be. Your features are almost too symmetrical.
Robby forgets, briefly, where he is.
You push your glasses up and everything comes back into focus. He has to shake his head a bit to regain his grip on himself.
You introduce yourself and your voice is melodic, it brings him back and grounds him to this moment. Abbot startles beside him,
"How are you here?" Jack asks you.
You turn your attention to him and ask,
"what?"
"You look exactly like her, only that is not possible because I knew her as two decades ago and she is dead." Jack rambles, which is how Robby knows this is serious because abbot never rambles. You watch him carefully. And then you nod, unbothered,
“Oh,” you say softly. “You’re thinking of my mother, Dr. Abbott. She was the second of her name.” A small, almost amused smile curves your lips. “I’m the third.”
The words settle strangely in the air.
"You two look the same."
"Yeah I get that a lot, my mother had the same reaction with her mother before her. I guess all of my family looks the same." You laugh. Jack looks like he wants to say more but she looks away.
You turn to Robby then, your attention shifting seamlessly, as if nothing about that exchange was unusual.
"Are we going to do rounds now because I want to talk to you about a few things."
and he had to snap himself out of whatever is happening to him,
"Uh- yeah sure." He mutters, "are you sure you're up for this, taking on the schedule that you have? Can you handle it?"
You smile, close lipped but still radiant, and look between the two of them, god you are so beautiful, the thought almost startles him because oh how much it doesn’t belong.
"I am sure," you hum, walking until you are right between them, the smell of you hits his nostrils and he his momentary taken aback by it,
You glance between them, eyes bright, something playful flickering beneath the surface.
"the question is can the both of you handle me?"
Yeah this is going to be a long shift.
