#solglam?

Maybe she’ll let rumors of her dating the actor swell for a little bit before quashing them in an interview. She wants to be the talk of the town l but not settled down because people need to be able to project themselves into her songs and imagine she’s singing about them.

Roxanne sits there and bears all of this back and forth and leading on because in a sense she understands it’s necessary. They can’t really be public with their relationship, and Jolene has essentially fabricated an entire boyfriend for years, and Marnie is completely fine with it, even thinks it’s funny at times (they’ve all had to hold back laughter in some interviews when Jolene starts getting a little *too* into the bit and they can’t take it seriously). Roxanne can do the same, even if the men are a little less imaginary sometimes, and even if Geraldine will go on “fake dates” just to get a paparazzi photo and then dumb the guy shortly after.

Roxanne can handle the deception with grace. It’s not like she *wants* everyone to be in their business. God, she’s had enough scrutiny from the media already. Revealing she’s in a relationship with a woman, *especially* with one of the most desired women in pop culture moment, would spell disaster for her. She knows *she* would probably bear the brunt of the backlash, and neither of them want that.

Roxanne can handle the deception with grace, but it doesn’t mean it doesn’t make her a little bit upset. Okay, maybe a lot upset. Geraldine justifies it by saying “they’re getting Glam in those videos and those pictures. You get to have Geraldine all you want.” In a sense that’s true, but then Glam is singing a song Geraldine wrote *about her* to *someone else,* and the lines start to blur.

To add insult to injury, while Roxanne loves Marnie and Jolene, and loves that they love each other, it is a little hard watching them make heart eyes from across the set with such reckless abandon, in a way Glam would never allow. The most Roxanne will get is a wink and a smile, that does make her knees weak to be fair, and then she’s back to acting.

All this to say, filming music videos can be especially difficult for Roxanne. To her credit though, Geraldine always tries to make it up for her after. Even when the shoots are long and she’s burnt out, Geraldine will drag Roxanne back to their shared room and remind her who the songs are *actually* about.

(Does she actually say she loves her then? No. Because why would she. Why would Geraldine ever offer a real balm to the wound when she can slap a bandaid over it instead.)

It’s enough for Roxanne to let it slide and forget about it. She knows it’s all fake. It’s all for the press, and in a way it’s also for her, for both of them, their success and their security. It’s not like any of them have a life outside of the band anymore.

—

At the start however, Glam isn’t the only one on magazine covers, shooting music videos, and getting sniped by paparazzi. Jolene, Marnie and Roxanne have all had their own photo shoots and video performances.

Back when Geraldine was less possessive of the spotlight, they had released a single with Roxanne’s vocals as the focal point, previewing their upcoming album. When they put the track out Geraldine had rightfully been excited. She was proud of her girlfriend, and she can’t say she doesn’t love to hear her voice.

To further promote the single and said album, the higher ups suggest they have another MV. They all love this idea of course. Jolene is always ready for a new excuse to change her hair color (they all keep trying to stop her because she is one botched bleach job away from going bald), and while Marnie doesn’t exactly like having attention, the controlled environment of a studio allows her a little more ease when it comes to performing and acting. Geraldine and Roxanne are of course stoked because it’s time to show off Roxanne’s vocals but also her charm on camera.

When they get to the set and everything goes into full swing everything’s going well. The costumes are on point, the lighting is as fun as it is flattering, and Roxanne and her costar actually have great chemistry. Okay maybe everything *isnt* going well because Geraldine is trying very hard to mask a look that could only be pure and utter distain at Roxanne’s costar. Her attempts at a poker face are half working, so instead of looking like she’s about to shove the guy, she just looks like she smells something absolutely heinous instead.

Jolene has to take the initiative, pulling her aside and knocking some sense into her. It sort of works and she finally schools her expression firmly into “mildly perturbed” territory.

Roxanne walks over to Marnie and says “is that what I looked like?”

Marnie responds “Oh, heck no. At most you looked a little sad or stressed, but never obviously.”

When they call it for the night and the shoot is over Geraldine is immediately in Roxanne’s orbit, and doesn’t let more than an arms length of distance between them for the rest of the night. She’s clingy to a degree that she would never usually be for fear of getting caught, but this seems to be some sort of exception.

“Jeez, you could at least look a little bit happy for me.”

“I am happy for you.”

“Your face isn’t saying that.”

“You looked beautiful on set, and I think the music video will turn out amazing.”

“She says with the expression of a pained animal.”

Anyways Geraldine gives her *a lot* of attention when they’re finally alone.

Geraldine did mean it when she said Roxanne was beautiful in the music video. It reminds her of how the Run Away With Me video caught all of her best angles and made the fans go crazy, that’s what this one was for Roxanne. She just sort of wishes *he* wasn’t there.

Geraldine finally understands just a little bit of how Roxanne feels now, and realizes that she probably has a little less self restraint than her counterpart. That is where they differ. Roxanne can bear to wait in the wings and spend a little time on the sidelines if it means someone else gets to shine. Geraldine can’t really handle sharing the spotlight, and she can’t handle sharing Roxanne either.

When the group starts to become strained, and Geraldine pushes them out of talk show appearances and out of the public eye more, maybe she enjoys that she gets her all to herself. It’s not right, but it’s still true.

She has to admit though, it doesn’t taste nearly as sweet when Roxanne is by her side out of obligation rather than her own choice, but she can’t live with that.

Holloway will live with that fact even after Roxanne is dead and gone. She’ll think of how maybe if she really had let Roxanne choose something other than her, she would be alive.

She’ll never know now though.

She kept a physical copy of the video. She plays it sometimes while she’s alone. Sometimes she smiles and sometimes she cries her eyes out and others she screams until she can’t anymore.

What’s done is done, and she’s gone now.

—

Extra tidbit at the end that included but didn’t fit the flow of what I was talking about

Jolene and Marnie have their fair share of scandals as well… actually mostly just Jolene. They’re less of the romantic kind and more of the “why is the Starlets drummer climbing a tree in Times Square” (Marnie saw a cat stuck up there), and “The Starkets Vesper caught chewing out innocent man on the street” (he’d catcalled someone and Jolene decided she should tear him a new one.) Their PR team hears that Jolene is going out for a night and start sweating profusely. Yes Marnie and Jolene like to spend time witnessing each other but *everyone* collectively agrees that they need to keep her from being a PR disaster. Geraldine can be blunt but at least she has a modicum of self restraint in public.

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