#sohnus

shigure points it out to him first. and kureno admits it while he’s talking to tohru that he:

during the scene that kureno’s curse breaks and akito drags him inside the room he doesn’t look terrified at all. surprised? yes. sad that akito is crying and begging so desperately for him not to leave her? yes. but he doesn’t look terrified at all. especially with how the scene is framed. to me, personally, it even shows how small and young akito is here.

kureno feels bad for her. he’s probably never seen her breakdown like this either. i think if anyone is terrified in this scene it’s akito. her pupils are so small here, a common signifier in animation that a character is scared or shocked. she’s the one clinging to him. it’s her voice that breaks. and we need to look at their ages here. akito is a child when this all happens. she barely even reaches his chest. it’s been mentioned that she’s sickly too. there’s no bond that would make him feel obligated to stay. kureno could have really left if he wanted to. there’s no reason for him to be terrified here i think. he stays because

"dojo satroo" HAHAHAHAHAHAHA I'm crying

Yes! I was thinking of this recently, because so many books by outsiders try to accomplish something that’s really quite out of their depth. 

The most recent example, spurred on by my thoughts about early LGBT literature, particularly early trans literature, is cis people writing about trans people. David Levithan did it best, I think-- threw a trans man casually into Two Boys Kissing, gives him a crush, has people accept him, boom, done. No need to dig into complex trauma, and Levithan doesn’t try to.

Then you have cis authors who think it is a good idea to try and give a ‘realistic’ understanding of cis people’s perceptions of trans people, which always comes off odd, because cis readers should prioritize trans voices for that and trans readers already know. 

It’s strange how many cis people wrote transphobic MCs in an attempt to 1) not write a trans lead while representing trans people 2) be ‘realistic’. It’s not a task I feel comfortable assigning them, and not one I think they should feel pressured to undertake.

That said, the most frustrating aspect of these sorts of books is undoubtedly the potential! I write some transphobia in my own books, which means attempting to understand transphobic perspectives. I would be happy to read this “transphobic cis person POV” style from a trans person, who would know how to temper it. Others, of course, may never want to see open transphobia in their books at all, and I understand that as well.

He is wanting, the wonderland takes the image of his first home with a door he always ends back at everytime makes a decision that let's one thing or another leave him unbalanced and each time it takes something away from him like a memory or a time or a possibility and it leaves a deep mark. 

I‘m just................. T_T are you serious.

This has me speechless. I honestly don‘t know what to write because I don‘t think saying’ thank you‘s will ever suffice. This means A LOT more than you know. Thank you so so SO much for spending your time to write this, and please don‘t feel that way with your work (believe me, that‘s every creator‘s biggest problem) and I think it‘s always important to love your own work first because it‘s you who made it, so others can love it too.

has been abused but at the same time he hasn't done anything to help him. like i get that to a point chanwoo has said he enjoys it but what your doing now when he has maybe in some way thought you that place where he was safe to be bared and open is now being ruined and your just not seeing it. like i think he didn't want to lose that so he didn't tell him he liked him or whatever. MD is still taking advantage of his pain.

[ TW: PHYSICAL ABUSE ]

hopefully you don’t mind me replying publicly (lmk and i can take it down and just resend as private)! and also very sorry this got so long, i really need to learn to be concise for once. put it under a read more so i don’t spam ppl’s dashes with a huge block of text like i probably usually do

i’m not trying to defend asshole behavior but yeah i think it’s challenging to analyze these kinds of relationships as readers who have all the info but characters may not ... chanwoo has never explicitly told MD that he feels genuinely safe with him (iirc he said “i feel best with our current setup aka not dating”) so MD might feel that he’s just basically a (excuse my language) side-hoe that chanwoo doesn’t have any feelings for whatsoever so as a response he acted like that towards chanwoo ... 

i mean as you may have seen from my other posts, i do definitely agree that MD was being a real jerk and chanwoo does deserve to be with someone who is good to him but alas ... it all depends on whether or not you actively work issues out instead of it happening and then pretending it didn’t once it all tides over.

so i’m very happy with the developments in the most recent update though (spoiler if you haven’t read yet ... but chanwoo uses the safeword and MD stops the play immediately and chases the other sub out and verbally apologizes to chanwoo when seeing how upset chanwoo is). i hope the next chapter has them communicating their feelings better to each other and MD acknowledging his shitty behavior!!

re: physical abuse, i personally do not have any experience with it myself (thankfully) nor have i had a friend who’s had to deal with it (that i know of) so PLEASE do not blindly trust my comments on this ... but i would think it’s also very challenging probing into someone’s personal life like that. tbh i don’t remember the scene that well rn but i think MD probed a little and chanwoo was like ‘leave it’ so i think MD was definitely concerned but didn’t want to push to the point that chanwoo would shut down completely (bc i know from personal experience that when someone starts asking too much re: a personal issue i don’t want to talk about i’m not particularly receptive). also iirc, that was the 1st time MD had noticed the bruising and his later confession was an attempt to be like ‘i can help stop that abuse by being a SO who will not abuse you’ which is a little wack but it is what it is. i’m not sure abt the cultural differences bw korea (where this manhwa takes place i assume) and the west re: male physical abuse but it might also be a case where you just assume the guy can handle it himself (especially since i think chanwoo noted that he was usually able to get out of the relationship immediately upon the 1st instance of abuse).

anyhow tl;dr YES i do agree that at the first symptom of abuse you should definitely report it or say something to someone who could potentially do something constructive about it, but sometimes in the moment people may not do it bc it is a scary thing to do with a lot of social connotations. you are very welcome to disagree though, especially since i am talking mostly in theory and not as someone who’s had to deal with such a thing irl. but i do stand by this motto “it’s better to lose a friend than lose a life”

i feel weird with this reply bc i feel like half of it was me “defending” problematic behavior but of course i don’t condone ignoring abuse, i don’t condone being an ass just because you got rejected ... but it depends on how it’s handled in the story. some stories romanticize it, some stories don’t. and readers have access to info that in-story characters don’t so we have differing opinions of what’s happening. of course we have to note that chanwoo’s side story hasn’t finished yet so i’m holding out hope that the author will say what needs to be said.