#softcorehippos

Tagging my faves for signal boost ❤️

You banged your forehead against the door of your apartment and groaned in frustration. After climbing up 5 stories of stairs, the exhaustion caught up with you and now you couldn’t even bring yourself to reach down to your back to get your keys.  

Today was unlike any other day. It was as if the Gods of misfortune had decided to keep you company, leading you to a never-ending series of unfortunate events. The morning started with your coffee machine smoking out on you, making you spend way more than you’d like on a Starbucks near your office. On the rare days that you actually go to the office, since you mostly work from home, the elevator decided to fail you and made you walk 7 stories up to your cubicle, only to find out that the AC was malfunctioning.

In July.

But you brushed it off, thinking that the meeting with you boss would only take 30 minutes at the most, right?

Wrong.

Turns out, your boss was just flying back to New York that morning and his flight got delayed. So what you thought would be a short visit to the office ended up lasting an entire day.

So now, standing outside your door, you decided to catch up on your breathing before making any muscle movements.

“Are you okay?” You heard the click of the door closing shut behind you.

“No.” You mumbled, not taking your forehead off your door.

Then you heard a chuckle. “Do you need help?”

“No.”

“So you’re just gonna stand here? Taking a vertical nap?”

“Yes.”

A warm laughter rumbled from whoever was talking to you. “Alright then, have fun.” You heard footsteps descending the stairs and you sighed.

I really should go inside. You thought to yourself.

You begrudgingly reach down to your cluttered purse and after a good 30 seconds, you fish out your key ring and unlocked the door. Once you were inside the comfort of your apartment, you threw everything onto the couch and head to the kitchen. You pressed the message button on your receiver as you rummage through the fridge for something to drink.

“Hey Y/N, it’s Derek, just reminding you that the deadline for the Octacorp design is in two days, hope I hear from you soon.”

You took out a bottle of beer and groaned at the message.

Beep.

“Where the ever-living fuck are you? I knocked but you’re not there, which is weird since you never leave your apartment, like ever. Anyway, I got your package sent here by mistake. Come and get it please, it’s cluttering my apartment.”

You chuckled at the message that was left by your best friend, Camille, but you couldn’t be bothered to go down the hall and pick your package up so you decided to leave it for the time being.

Beep.

“Y/N, my darling, my sunshine, my favorite person in the entire world…”

You scoffed.

“Something came up at work and I need to drop the kids at your place at 8 AM, I know you’re going to hate me but they’re just so excited to see you, I hope you don’t mind. Love you!”

You whined loudly and banged your head once again against the fridge door. You stared a few seconds at your unopened beer and store it back into the fridge with resentment.

How you’re going to juggle the Octacorp project and the twins tomorrow, you’d have to figure it out as you force yourself to sleep, because there’s no way in hell you’re going to survive the twins while sleep deprived.

Part 2

Sam scrunched his nose in disgust as he saw you and T’Challa curled up to each other on the couch opposite him. T’Challa was whispering sweet nothings in your ear and the words, plus the close proximity caused you to giggle every time he talked.

“You look constipated.” Bucky said to Sam as he sat down next to him.

Sam didn’t respond, he just kept staring at you with his fingers in his palm. Bucky soon took the hint and chuckled. “Just let them be, they look good together.”

That caught Sam’s attention and he shot a death glare at the former soldier.

“She’s my baby sister, it’s just wrong.”

“Then stop staring, you creep.” Bucky rolled his eyes and stood up, leaving Sam alone with you and T’Challa.

You knew that Sam was glaring at you and T’Challa but you couldn’t find it in you to care. Ever since T’Challa took you out a month ago, things have never been better. He treats you like a queen, spoiling you with affection and lavish gifts, and it doesn’t hurt that the sex was mind-blowing.

Seriously, it’s that good.

There were numerous occasions where you were so sore afterwards you were unable to walk straight for days.

“Will you two knock it off?” Sam said through gritted teeth.

You turned to look at him, face feigning innocence. “What ever do you mean, brother?”

“Screw you.” He mumbled as he stood up.

You couldn’t help but to retort, “Don’t worry, T’Challa’s got that covered.”

Sam stopped dead in his tracks, his face flushed and hot, before continued to make his way to the gym. He needed to blow off steam.

“You do realize they’re just doing this to taunt you, right? To get this exact reaction?” Bucky asked as he kept the sand sack that was taking Sam’s beating steady.

“Shut up.”

Bucky chuckled. “What’s got your panties in a twist, anyway?”

Sam stopped throwing punches and sighed. “She’s my baby sister, it’s just wrong, how do you expect me to just sit there and watch him violate my sister?”

“Whoa, whoa, violate? You’re making something wonderful sound like something completely vile.”

“Because it is.” He mumbled before getting back to his target.

“Well if isn’t two of my favorite Avenger!” A man’s voice bellowed into the somewhat quiet gym, causing Sam and Bucky turned their attention towards the door, where two of the most unlikely guests walked in.

Sam’s face broke into a grin. “What up antlers?” He greeted the God of mischief and Thor, who were trailing closely behind him.

“Says the man who talks to his toy bird. How are you, my friends?” Loki greeted cheerfully, which Sam thought was suspicious.

“Fine. What are you up to? What are you doing here?”

“Can’t a man visit his fellow Avengers?”

“You, brother, are not an Avenger.” Thor shook his head before turning his attention to Bucky. “Barnes, I’m in need of a favor, if you are not otherwise occupied?”

“Sure man.” He grabbed his towel and went to follow Thor out the gym, but not before he turned around to give his brother a warning.

“Do not cause trouble, brother, or I will take us back to Asgard immediately.”

Loki gave Thor a salute before Thor disappeared out the door and once he was gone, Loki turned his attention to Sam, who was watching the exchange between the two brothers in amusement.

“Hm.” Loki suddenly said, eyeing Sam with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

“What?”

“I’m sensing a lot of hostility from you, Sam. Is my presence bothering you?”

Sam snorted a response as he took off the bands from his hand. “Surprisingly, for once, it’s not you.”

“Ah, is someone after my title of being the most insufferable individual in this building?”

“Man, you have no idea.”

Sam ended up ranting his problems away to Loki, who was listening intently, he would occasionally give a smart-ass response, which caused Sam to further his ranting. That is, until you walked into the gym, wearing nothing but compression shorts and a black sports bra.

“Jesus, Y/N. Put some fucking clothes on!” Sam cried out in exasperation.

You gave him a look. “Huh? This is what I normally wear to work out. You’re so fucking weird.” You muttered the last part under your breath.

You set up your yoga mat on the far end of the gym floor and went straight to stretching, your attention was yanked away, however, when you saw T’Challa walking towards you, dressed in his workout attire.

“Do you mind?” He asked with a smile.

“Of course not.” You waved him closer. “Come help me stretch.”

You lay down on the mat, with your legs set apart as if you were doing a split. You had T’Challa put his hands on your inner thighs, pushing them to the floor as close as possible. A grunt escaped your lips and that caught Sam and Loki’s attention.

“You fucking kidding me?” Sam muttered under his breath and averted his gaze before he exploded.

“Is that cat man you speak of?” Loki asked Sam, who was staring at you and T’Challa with fumes coming out of his ears. He couldn’t answer Loki so he just nodded in response.

“Well, now I see perfectly why would be angry, my friend.” Loki patted Sam’s shoulder with a chuckle.

“She’s doing this on purpose, she’s playing with that fucking cat just to piss me off. He thinks he’s all that because he’s royalty, when in reality he’s just a grown ass man playing fucking dress up as the Black Panther.” Sam said the last two words in a mocking tone.

“He’s royalty?”

“Yeah, I bet that’s the only redeeming quality that he’s got. I miss the days when a fucking black panther was just a black panther.”

You woke up the next day to a high-pitched screaming that could only be done by the one and only Tony Stark. You thought about ignoring whatever that was going on but when the screams got louder and the sound of people running and things breaking, you jolted up from bed and rushed outside.

The hallways were empty when you stepped out of your room, but the silence was soon greeted with another scream, this time coming from Captain America himself. You head to the living room and saw the entire floor was trashed. Paintings were yanked from the wall, pillows were scattered and ripped apart, and a large claw mark on the back of the couch.

“What the fuck is going on?” You yelled out, earning Steve’s attention, who was standing on the top of the kitchen counter with his shield covering his upper body.

“Y/N! HIDE IN YOUR ROOM!”

“What? Why? Where’s everybody?”

Steve’s eyes widened in fear the same time you heard a low growl coming from behind you. Slowly, you turned your body around, only to find a giant black cat crouching with it’s ears perked up, eyes slightly squinted and its claws out.

You felt your blood rushing down and you instantly felt lightheaded. You were mortified, glued to the floor, unable to neither move nor speak.

“S-Steve.” You managed to whisper.

“Y/N, don’t move. I’m going to get help, please don’t move.” Steve said from behind you before you heard the pitter-patter of his bare feet as he ran away to get help.

You stood there, making sure that you didn’t move an inch of your body while maintaining eye contact with the panther. A million things were running through your mind, two of them being a solid what the fuck is going on and how the fuck is this happening?

You flinched backwards when the Panther let out a low growl, and one of its paws stepped forward.

“Shit.” You glanced around to see the room still empty, where the hell is Steve with backup?

Another growl was heard and it was now inching closer and closer to you. You stumbled on your feet as you slowly walked backwards and landed on your ass. It was now staring you down and for some reason; you couldn’t bring yourself to move.

“STEVE! FUCK, STEVE HURRY UP!” You screamed at the top of your lungs, only to hear nothing back.

You were shaking, and as the Panther closing in on you, you kept thinking, this is how I die. This is how I’m going to go, mauled by a giant black cat.

You followed its eye line as it walked around you, thinking that it was going to attack you from behind, you closed your eyes and braced yourself for whatever was going to happen.

You heard the low purr of the panther on your right and nearly jumped out of your skin when you felt the underside of its muzzle on your shoulder. You waited and waited, for it to finally tear you to pieces but it never came. The panther just sat behind you, resting its head on your shoulder and purring, occasionally pushing its muzzle into the crook of your neck. The panther brought one of its paws and patted your head three times before bringing it down your back and eventually settling back up on your shoulder.

The gesture caused a thought to pop up in your mind and in an instant; you jumped to your feet, causing the panther to jump back in surprise.

“What the fuck? T’Challa?” You shrieked.

A low growl was heard and you were sure that the panther was talking to you.

“Wh… What the fuck? How did this happen?!” You yelled out loud and you thought of the one person who was crazy enough to do this. “SAM FUCKING WILSON! COME HERE THIS INSTANT!” You shouted into the open space, hands rested on your hips.

A minute later, you heard the sound of people running towards you. “Y/N! Hold on, we’re going to get you outta here.” Steve panted, his shield at the ready.

“Chill the fuck out, Rogers.” You snapped. “Where’s Wilson?”

“I’m not coming near that thing, sorry sis, I love you but I ain’t goin’ down that way.” He stayed put behind Steve.

“This thing is your fucking fault!” You yelled.

Sam stepped out of Steve’s frame with a confused look. “How the hell is it my fault? That thing just came outta nowhere, we thought it was one of Stark’s exotic pets gone loose.”

“I swear to what ever that is Holy, Sam, if you don’t turn him back to normal I will fucking murder you with a plastic fork.” You were fuming; you couldn’t stand the innocent look he was sporting.

“Hey, as much as I would love to take credit for this, I didn’t do any of it. Wait, what do you mean turn back?”

“Drop the act, bro, or I’ll fucking jump you.”

Sam shot Steve a confused look and you lost it, you lunged at Sam with your fist at the ready, wanting nothing more than to gauge his eyes out, but unfortunately, Steve’s impeccable reflex caught you before you could lay a hand on Sam.

“Whoa, whoa, Y/N, calm down!” Steve restrained your arms at your side and pulled you away, while Bucky and Tony pushed Sam away. “What’s the matter with you?”

“That asshole turned my boyfriend into an actual black panther!” You screamed, furiously pointing at Sam who was seeking safety behind Bucky and Tony.

“What?!” Sam yelped. “How the fuck would I do that?”

“I don’t know! But you were the only person who didn’t approve of my relationship so you turned my boyfriend into a cat for payback!”

Just as soon as you finished your sentence, Sam burst into laughter. He held his stomach as he crouched down to the floor; eyes were tearing up from laughing too much. Just like that, the elephant in the room (or the black panther in the room) was the least of everybody’s problem.

“Oh, Y/N, that’s it, you’ve completely lost it. Why would I turn your boyfriend into a fucking cat? And how the hell do you know it’s even him!”

“Because of this,” you turned around to face the panther that was lying down on the floor and called out, “T’Challa!”

The panther immediately perked up, with both ears standing proudly and sauntered to your side, before placing one paw on the small of your back. You went to show the others what he did before that got you to realize that the panther was indeed T’Challa.

You sat down on the floor and, as silly as it sounds, nodded to the panther to repeat what it did.

“That’s what T’Challa did when he wanted my attention. Three pats on the head and back up my shoulder.” You stated as-a-matter-of-fact-ly.

“Holy shit, Wilson, you’ve really out done yourself this time.” Tony muttered from behind Sam and gave him a pat on the back.

“What?  I swear to God this wasn’t me!”

“Well then who the fuck did it?” You yelled in frustration.

A few beats of silence later, the sound of footsteps approaching caused everybody to turn their attention to the entryway of the living room. A certain longhaired God with his cane sauntered into the living room, sporting his ever-present mischievous smirk.

“Well, it’s safe to say that I’m still the most insufferable person in this building, correct?”