#soft robby

Dennis doesn’t notice Robby lingering by the nurses station, by Dana. As he pretends to listen to what she’s saying. Instead Robby is watching Dennis. How he looks far too focused, as if the boy is reading the same paragraph in a book and retaining none of the information. His brows pinched together like he’s willing himself to continue, and just the tip of his tongue darting out to wet his lips before he goes for another try. 

Another tap, with a clear sound of the backspace right after. The quiet sound of a disgruntled and frustrated sigh leaves Dennis’s mouth. Robby isn’t surprised by any means, he seems hundreds if not thousands of residents come through the ED, some are brilliant, some are carless, some are burnt out before they even make it through their residency program.

Dennis Whitaker, the R2 isn’t any of these things. Instead he tries, and he tries so hard that it makes Dennis dangerous in the sense that he’ll stay late in ED to make sure the chart is perfect. Trying means that no matter how small the mistake is Dennis will end up taking it personally. Trying also means that Robby can’t help but watch him even though he knows that he shouldn’t be. That he can’t be watching him. 

Robby doesn’t know when he finds himself walking over to where Dennis is sitting, or when he’s let his inner thoughts become outer thoughts. “Whitaker, you’ll be here all night long at this pace.” Robby says looking down at the two fingers on the keyboard. At the sound of his name, Dennis jumps so hard that his knee hits underneath the nurses station. “Jesus fuc… Dr. Robby, I wasn’t…I mean.” Dennis' words just mumble together. 

As always Robby can’t help but reach out, his hand landing steadily on Dennis' shoulder. “You’re fine, just relax Whitaker.” Robby can’t tell if the reason Dennis ears and cheeks are flushed pink is because he scared the poor R2 or because of his hand pressing down on Dennis shoulder. “I promise, Dr. Robby, I’m almost done.” Dennis mutters quickly. Already trying to force his body back to face the screen.

Dennis says it like he’s got to prove himself to Robby, except the boy did that nearly 10 months ago when he walked in on him having a mental breakdown in the middle of the pedes makeshift morgue. Except when Robby takes a clear look down at Dennis' screen he can see that he’s not ‘almost done’ at all, he’s not even halfway through the chart being complete. 

Robby is dropping down to one of his knees. Half kneeling besides the younger man, watching as Dennis fiddles with his hands just barely under the desk. “Dennis.” Robby barely whispers the man's name, it causes Dennis to gasp softly, and freeze quickly. Robby points at the keyboard, “Can you show me what you’re doing.” It’s not really a question, but Robby can’t seem to phrase things harshly when he’s talking to Dennis. 

Robby can see the hesitation in Dennis movements, the slow way he brings his hands up from his lap and sets from on the edge of the keyboard. This part is easy, and slow then he rests just two fingers on a random set of keys. Finishing out the previous sentence that he can stop halfway through. 

Tap. 

Stop.

Tap. 

The sigh that Robby lets out must fan over Dennis' arm because he can see the faint way that goosebumps spread all over his arms. Dennis shivers ever so slightly, “Oh.” Is all the older man says but it’s not unkind it just a realization of what he’s gotten himself into and what Dennis is working with. 

Dennis goes stiff as a board next to Robby, unable to look at Robby. “I know Dr. Robby.” He mutters under his breath just loud enough that the two of them can hear, “I’m really slow.” Dennis adds looking down at his fingers. Robby shakes his head, “Kid, that’s not the problem at all.” Dennis is quick to look at his mentor. 

Hope is what Robby would say was behind his eyes. 

Maybe it’s the hope that does something to Robby, maybe it’s the dark circles that bring out the ocean blue iris of Dennis's eyes. That has Robby reaching forward without a singular thought. “Can I?” He asks in a low whisper. All the R2 does is give a slow nod. 

Without any further waiting, Robby’s hands are gently closing around Dennis' wrist. The younger man is so warm, warmer than Robby thought he was going to be. Dennis lets out a little gasp at the difference in their temperature. “I know, kid. I’m always this cold.” Dennis exhales slowly, and doesn’t pull away from Robby’s touch. “That’s okay, Dr. Robby.” (God how can a moment in the middle of their ED feel so intimate and raw) 

Robby is then guiding Dennis' hands over back up towards the keyboard. “You… hold tension here.” He whispers into Dennis' ear. Brushing his thumbs over Dennis slender wrists. “Also here.” Dennis nods, and focuses on the screen. Years as a doctor, as him noticing the slight shift in Dennis' pulse. 

“Did you ever take a computer class while in school?” Robby isn’t sure why he asks, maybe it's a scramble to gather more information about Dennis, maybe it’s Santos' comment earlier in the day. ‘He’s weirder than you’d think.’.  “No, sir. I grew up in a farm country. I did take shop though if that counts for something.” Dennis mumbles. Robby just nods. 

“Then I'll tell you this. You won’t get far typing with only two fingers.” Robby says, but it’s not condescending, just a teaching moment. “Best to get comfortable typing with all your fingers.” Robby spreads Dennis fingers across the keyboard with ease. Dennis lets Robby lead him, just like he lets him drag all over the ED by his shoulders. 

There is a certain look in Dennis' eyes, the same one that he has when he’s learning something new in the middle of a trauma. As if he’s trying to memorize every single thing that is happening around him all at once. Except nobody is shouting out numbers, or asking questions that might save the patient. “Home row, then.” Robby says, looking back down at the keyboard. “Your fingers will always rest here.” 

He can feel Dennis nod gently next to him, and Robby knows that he should let the kids hands go. Take his much older, weaker hands off the man, but there he can’t. Instead he adjusts the younger man's fingers, the movement is mindless, and needless. Dennis' breathing shifts, and goes almost completely shallow. A short breath in and another one out. As if the boy is trying very hard to focus. 

“All good now.” Robby mutters. Dennis looks over at him, and Robby can feel the heat creeping up on the back of his neck. Right there Robby realized how close they had managed to get, and decided that he simply can’t sit here any longer so he let go of the younger man's hands. 

Dennis doesn’t move his hands from where Robby had rested them on the home row. “Now try,” Robby says without looking at Dennis. At first, the movement was awkward, a little slow, but much faster than previous. Something blooms in Robby's chest, possibly pride. “Better?” He asks the R2. A smile tugs slightly at Dennis' lips; regardless of how small it is, it awakens Robby in a way he wasn’t prepared for. 

From that point forward Robby starts to notice everything about his R2. The list seems to grow out of control, and before it Robby is noticing the way that Dennis is leaning closer to Robby's side when he’s explaining something, anything. Regardless of where they’re standing in the ED, Dennis almost always manages to be by his side or staring at him with his puppy dog eyes. Or how Dennis shoulder seems to brush his own and lingers there for just a second longer than would ever be professional. Or how every time he looks over at Dennis, the younger man seems to be waiting for that approval that Robby only manages to give freely to him. 

It starts to become a problem when Robby starts to find every single excuse the man can think up to touch the younger man, or touch him. “The structure of your notes here needs some work, kid.” He says to Dennis that he’s passing by the nurses station and catches him sitting at the monitor. “Drop all these filler words, your charting will be far more efficient without them, trust me.” Robby will say with his hand on Dennis' shoulder, giving a squeeze when he watches the kid start to backspace and delete some of the odd filler words.

 “You’re missing something there, Whitaker.” And every time he says something he stands close behind Dennis. Each time his large hands finds the younger man's wrist guiding it back to the right place over the keyboard. And every time Dennis goes completely still under his cold hands. The thing is neither one of the men will acknowledge what is happening between the both of them, but that doesn't mean it doesn't exist. 

Growing

Festering 

And becoming far more dangerous than either could have realized.

It’s three weeks later when Dennis is still behind but not badly as he was before just enough that it’s putting a drain on Robby himself when Gloria comes down on his ass about how she’s getting annoyed by the insurance companies. Robby catches Dennis one night after shift, as the younger man sits and types away. “Whitkaker, you’re improving.” Robby says, the small huff of a laugh that Dennis lets out makes Robby want to hear more. 

“You’re being far more generous than you need to be.” Dennis' words make the older man hesitate because the man is about to say something stupid, something that he should say at all. Something that Dana would most definitely yell at him for even suggesting to a resident. “Then I could help you.” 

Dennis just blinks at Robby, confusion written all over the boy's tired face. “Dr. Robby, you already do help me,” Dennis says as if the fact isn’t something the both of them understand. “No. I mean… I just mean I could help you more properly.” (God, he’s really fucking this up, isn’t he. Phrasing all wrong.) Robby says he feels Dennis' eyes bore into his own, watching him carefully.

“At my house,” Robby whispers, clarifying. The silence that seems to fall over them is deafening, especially as he watches Dennis swallow his throat, moving up and then down. (Yeah, this definitely isn’t a good idea.) “Oh.” Is all that Dennis manages. The regret that fills Robby’s chest is immediate, blooming a way that makes Robby want to run away from this conversation and forget it ever happened. 

He pushes through the uncomfortable feeling, and lands on something else to clarify himself. “It would just be easier, kid.” He says far too quickly that there’s no way it doesn’t sound like a cover up, “Less interruptions, you know.” Robby says gesturing to the ED around them, the loud noises, the sound of sneakers squeaking across the tile floors. It takes Dennis a minute to come up with an answer but when he does Robby isn’t sure what he’s gotten himself into. “Okay, that sounds good.” Dennis says softly a small smile on his lips before he’s looking back at the screen once more.

Dr. Robby 

Sending you the link to my address. 

Dennis 

Thank u, I might be a little lt, the bus can take a while.

Dr. Robby 

Don’t worry, I’ll be here. 

It’s a few weeks later when Dennis finds himself standing outside a large brownstone. He stands there taking it in. The red brick stands against the green tree perfectly, large windows that overlook the road, and there is a soft glow that is coming from inside behind the drawn curtains. 

Overall it’s beautiful and it has the younger man standing there for a full minute thinking about the small apartment that he shares with Santos before he’s able to gather up the courage to knock on the front door. It feels like Dr. Robby, it feels like stability, feels intentional. 

Dennis knocks on the door using the ornate and decorative doorknocker on the front of the door. Dennis isn’t prepared for how quickly the front door opens, or how Robby seems so different now. Instead of the scrubs that he’s used to seeing the older man in, he’s wearing a set of slacks and a sweater. The sleeves of the sweater are bunched up around his elbows showing off his arms and allowing Dennis a second to catch yet another glimpse at his tattoos on his arms. 

The feeling of Dr. Robby out of scrubs and in normal clothes does something to the younger man's chest. Like he’s seeing a part of Dr. Robby that the man doesn’t let anyone else see. Well anyone else except for Dr. Abbot, and Dana. Regardless it feels special to Dennis, like finding your christmas presents before they’ve been wrapped up for the holidays. 

“Hello, Dr. Robby.” Dennis manages to squeak out. A smile faintly tugs at Dr. Robby's lips before he’s moving out of the way of the entrance and towards the side to allow the room to move. “Please, come in.” Robby says gesturing to the rest of his brownstone. It’s even more like Dr. Robby on the inside that it was on the outside. 

Yet again Denis feels overly special, getting a glimpse of the ER chief. The brownstone smells faintly of burnt coffee, and old books. It reminds Dennis for a singular moment of back home, the old wood smell that seeps into everything. Books are all over the place, lining the walls, a stack of papers and journals on the desk that sits in the center of two large windows. 

It’s a little messy, but not like someone who doesn’t pick up after themselves. Instead it’s a reminder that it’s well lived in, grounded. With that thought it suddenly reminds Dennis of just how younger he really is in comparison to the other man standing beside him. “Would you like water, or coffee?” Robby asks, pulling Dennis from his far away thoughts. 

“The water is fine, thank you.” Dennis mutters out as he watches the older man walk towards the kitchen, for the few minutes that Dr. Robby is gone, Dennis hopes that Santos won’t pry too much about why he had left. A few moments later Dr. Robby returns with a glass of water in his hand “Come on, sit.” Robby says with his other hand resting on Dennis shoulder and moving him towards the desk. 

They move together, almost in perfect sync with each other. Always a guiding hand on Dennis' shoulder. Something about the touch from the older doctor has Dennis straightening his spine and standing a bit taller. Yearning to be perfect at everything that Dr. Robby says he needs to be. “Whitaker, it’s okay you’re allowed to relax.” Dr. Robby murmurs. 

Dennis can hear the passing of cars outside the brownstone, the gurgling of the coffee machine and the ticking of Dr. Robby's wrist watch. It’s so easy for Dr. Robby to say that Dennis should relax, but that’s because he doesn’t have his mentor's hands on his shoulder, practically dog walking him towards his desk. 

Dennis listens regardless because he’s good at listening to Dr. Robby. Just because the setting is different doesn't mean anything else is different. Dennis lets out a slow and calculated breath, trying to find his balance again. “Good, now we can start with your posture.” Robby says as if they haven’t left the hospital and definitely aren’t standing alone in his home. 

Dr. Robby slides his fingers down the sides of Dennis arms. The feeling of his cold hands against Dennis' arm sends goosebumps and shivers across his entire body. His breath catches in the back of his throat. Neither dare to comment, instead Dr. Robby is guiding Dennis' hands towards the keyboard once again. “Remember home row.” Dr. Robby reminds Dennis softly. 

Dennis just nods, and breaths in the closeness of the older man. Dr. Robby starts to adjust Dennis pinky, moves next to his ring finger, then moves toward his index finger. The movement is calm and calculated but the touch still lingers and feels more deliberate with every finger Dr. Robby adjusts. “I can hear you overthinking, Whitaker.” Dr. Robby murmurs, “I just don't know how not to overthink.” Dr. Robby lets out a quiet laugh that rumbles between the two of them. 

Dr. Robby let his hands hover over the younger man's own, “Whitaker, you are allowed to learn this is a safe space. I promise.” Dr. Robby partially whispers the last part. Dennis turns and looks over his shoulder just ever so slightly. They’re closer than they’ve ever been. Dennis can feel Dr. Robby's breath fan over his shoulders. Dennis can see the faint lines around his eyes, the crows feet that somehow brighten up his brown iris. The overall softness that seems to be seeping from the man. 

Maybe it’s due to the setting. Inside Dr. Robby house. A safe space for the older man, a place where nobody is shouting his name across the ED. A place where he isn’t in charge of everything and everything, or maybe it’s due to their closeness, the way they seem to be glued to each other's side. 

A moment of silence passes over them, before Dennis breaks it. “Why are you helping me?” Dennis asks, unable to stop the words from forming and coming out, he’s curious because what’s so different about him in comparison to any other resident currently working at the PTMC ER. The question sits in the air heavy, and Dr. Robby doesn't answer straight away, instead his Dr. Robby starts to gently caress Dennis' wrist. 

Without looking back up at the younger doctor. Dr. Robby finally answers. “Because you care so deeply.’ Dennis feels his chest go tight and his heart beat faster against his ribs. ‘And because you didn’t have anyone to teach you.” Dennis lets out a deep sigh, one that has his breath shaking and going wobbly. He also doesn't realize until the words have been put out there just how much he had needed to hear that. 

From anyone would have been nice, but to hear it from Dr. Robby it’s even better then nice it’s wonderful. 

Dr. Robby is still holding onto Dennis hand, he hasn’t let go. Possibly grounding himself or the both of them. “Give it a try, Whitaker.” Dennis shivers as Robby whispers gently into his ear. He wants to catalog the whisper away in his mind forever, wants to feel the way his breath fans over his ear again.

 Instead Dennis gives it another go, without the chattering of nurses, the beeping of the monitor in the patient room, the ringing of the red phone going off, or the sound of someone calling his name every five seconds. It goes smoother, feels more natural in a way that doesn't have his wrist aching from typing with all of his fingers. 

Dennis can feel Dr. Robby watching over his shoulder. He watches along as his fingers move with speed he had never seen. Dr. Robby eyes don’t feel anything like judgement or annoyance instead they make Dennis feel proud. Dennis knows he’s right when he hears the faintness of Dr. Robby's voice over his typing. “You’re doing it.” The way Dr. Robby says it reminds Dennis of hearing his own father sound so proud with his brothers. It sounds like something a proud father would shout watching his son learn how to ride a bike. 

“I am.” Dennis laughs, Dennis turns to look at Dr. Robby over his shoulder without even thinking. A part of him needing to know what Dr. Robby looks like. If his expression matches his words. Once again they’re close, Dr. Robby's hand is still resting over Dennis' hands, and neither of them move. 

The moment seems to stretch, Dennis can feel and hear his heart pounding. He watches as Dr. Robby drops down to his lips briefly. “Dr. Robby…” Dennis murmurs. “Micheal, my name is Micheal.” Dennis’s mouth drops open, and his fingers freeze. Another door has opened, something else special has happened because he’s never gotten to call Dr. Robby his real name before. The name that he’s only ever heard when he’s seen Dr. Abbot talking to him. 

It feels different, more intimate than even the lingering touches feel. “Micheal.” Dennis whispers out into the air. It feels dangerous, and something blooms in his chest when he watches the older man's expression shift. Micheal is moving and taking his hand away from Dennis' wrist, Dennis mourns the loss of his cold touch immediately. 

Then all at once the touch is back, just this time it’s Micheal cold hand pressing into Denis cheek. Micheal pauses and gives Dennis all the time in the world to pull away, to move and tell him that this isn’t okay. Except Dennis can’t, he won’t dare move away from the touch that he has become dependent on. 

Micheal brushes his thumb over the apple of Dennis cheek. It’s featherlight, ticklish and it has Dennis burning to the core. Dennis leans into it, now they are far away from the PMTC it feels okay, right to lean into the cold touch.  Micheal breathes in sharply and murmurs his name. He isn’t sure who moves first, and he doesn't care because then their lips are meeting and it’s soft. 

It’s careful and gentle all at once. Like the both of them are afraid if either one moves or goes too fast that the other person will shatter into a thousand pieces. Dennis’ own breath catches, and Micheal steadies him with his hand cupping his jaw. The kiss is a question, and Dennis answers by leaning in closer, letting Micheal exhale against his lips. 

Micheal, on the other hand, finds Dennis' wrist once again, the feeling of his thumb brushing against his plus. Grounding him the moment, making Dennis realize just how tender the moment is becoming. Dennis also realizes that he’s never once been kissed like this before, never once has he felt so cared for in such a simple act. 

Like he really matters to the other person. When they separate it’s slow, like neither one of them wants to move too far away from the other. Micheal rests his forehead against Dennis’ and whispers, “This… we… this shouldn’t happen.” The moment is crashing, falling out of the sky. 

Dennis knows that he’s right, knows that this is not professional so he nods. But again neither of them pull away. Miheal is still gently stroking Dennis' wrist. The act is small, like he’s been doing it for months, for years even. It’s wrapped in affection and Dennis swallows it because he isn’t sure he can handle getting to know just how soft Micheal can be and then not being allowed to have it anymore. 

“I don’t want to stop… I don’t think you should stop.” Dennis admits. Micheals eyes shut and he can feel his lashes brush over his skin. When Micheal opens them again he pulls back, their eyes connect and something unguarded shines through them. “Okay.” Is all Micheal says before giving the younger man's wrist a squeeze. 

Dennis takes that a nudge to return back to the keyboard in front of him. His hands settle naturally on the keyboard now, posture is perfect as are all of his fingers. For now okay is more then enough, for now just having the older man watching him in awe as he types with a new found vigor is enough. 

Micheal watches as Dennis finds his rhyme, and it’s not because Dennis is perfect, but because he watches the younger man grow, because he accepted the help. Mostly Micheal is watching Dennis because he kissed him back, and because he wanted more. So Micheal will allow himself this, allow himself to be asked for more and be okay with giving more back.