#socionomics

How do you transition from being a stranger to an acquaintance to a friend? These early stages of relational familiarity are as essential as the later nurturing of relationships. There are many analogies that can be used for the development of any type of relationships: baking a cake, growing a plant, or constructing a building; Either way, the point is that progress is a process. In Step 1, Establishing Familiarity, our goal is to transition the target's view of us from stranger to friend. Sometimes, initial contact is too easy because of the environment in which the target presents itself. For example, at a conference or other professional or academic setting in which networking is encouraged through meet and greets, cocktail lounges, and banquets; this is an extremely easy opportunity considering that the majority of the attendees have similar backgrounds. Take the annual National Society of Black Engineers Nationals conference, at a place like this, making connections is almost effortless because of the multitude of common denominators and common interests. A conversation in this setting might go like this:

Me: Hi, how are you, I'm Devin T. Galt!

Target: Nice to meet you, Devin. I'm _____.

Me: I love your dress! You look amazing, I saw you from across the room and I knew I'd beat myself up if I didn't come talk to you. So, where do you go to school? What's your major?

Target: Thanks! I really like it too. I go to Spelman and I am an Electrical Engineering major. What about you?

Me: I go to West Point and I am an Economics and American Politics double major with a minor in Mechanical Engineering. Where are you from?

Target: O wow, that's a lot, I'm from Nashville, TN. You?

Me: I'm from Birmingham, AL. So, not too far from you. You didn't want to go to Vanderbilt or TSU?

Now. We've made the introductions, infused a bit of flattery, exchanged information about our academic background as well as our geographical backgrounds. Since we were already in an environment where I could make reasonable assumptions about the target, I was able to open with the School and Major question. Judging by the prestige or quality of their school and intensity of their major, I can reasonably start to formulate a profile on the target. Coupled with the knowledge of their city and state of origin, you can not only assume reasonable things about their ideals, principles, and sensibilities based on the assumption of the societal norms of that area. It also allows you an opportunity to comment on something about them, illustrating that you know something about their life. The not too far line and mentions of other colleges in Nashville will show the target that I am familiar with their surroundings, that we have shared experiences and knowledge. For the purposes of this particular step, we will stop there for the familiar settings, leaving room for Step 2: Convey Interest.

In unfamiliar settings, your work is cut out for you a bit more but this is where following the steps that we are laying out here will guide you to success. The issue with unfamiliar settings such as a bar, subway, bus, airplane, or any other number of public places is that you have to create an environment or reason to approach the target. A good personal example is this: I am from Birmingham, AL and as such am an avid Alabama Crimson Tide Football fan. Whenever I see someone in Bama paraphernalia, I always speak to them with the greeting, “Roll Tide!”. This allows me to establish familiarity between the target and I by pinpointing a specific thing that we have in common with one another.

Me: ROLL TIDE!

Target: Damn right, Roll Tide!

::High Five::

Me: I’m from Birmingham, Are you from AL?

Target: Yea, I’m from Birmingham too, where’d you go to high school?

Me: I went to Thompson, graduated in ’07, you?

Target: I went to Homewood, graduated in ’06, did you know ____

I have had many realistic exchanges such as this and you’d be surprised at how well people receive talking about their clothes or shoes in a familiar manner. I do the same thing with people’s shoes, as a shoe aficionado myself, when I see a girl with a fly set of sneakers on, I let her know that I love her shoes and subsequently begin conversation.

So, I say all this to say that the first step is to open the conversation with something that will put you and the target on common ground. If you are in a place where there are already obvious common grounds, tread on that common ground before proceeding into the weeds. If you are in a place where there are not obvious common grounds, then you must chop down the weeds with a machete while you look for common grounds.

Step 2. To follow!

"Every great magic trick consists of three acts. The first act is called "The Pledge"; The magician shows you something ordinary, but of course... it probably isn't. The second act is called "The Turn"; The magician makes his ordinary some thing do something extraordinary. Now if you're looking for the secret... you won't find it, that's why there's a third act called, "The Prestige"; this is the part with the twists and turns, where lives hang in the balance, and you see something shocking you've never seen before."

-From Christopher Nolan's Film The Prestige

Man is naturally and innately social. Civilization, government, and culture arises from an impulsive need for people to be around each other. Therefore, relationships are a good to be valued and therefore managed with an investment in time and money. Economics is the social science that analyzes the production, distribution, and consumption of goods and services. Socionomics is economics applied to interpersonal relationships on a macro and micro scale. Utility must be maximized, profit must be maximized and cost must be minimized. Establishing relationships will be the first topic covered by The Kallipolis in socionomics. Relationships are the basis of all human interaction and must be managed correctly to receive the most profit. By profit, I refer to desired goods and services that can be obtained through the connection with another person. The formation of a relationship can be broken into six parts: Establish Familiarity, Convey Interest, Validate the Target, Validate Self, Validate Us, and The Bold Move. This post will be a brief discussion and definition of each part. Further in depth analysis will follow in future posts.

Here in the Kallipolis, we welcome all things uplifting, insightful, logically sound, beautiful and of course great. As such, we have set out to collect and organize our thoughts in order to help those who visit this beautiful city a better informed and inspired intellectual when they depart.

So we have decided to begin what shall be referred to as "Kallipolis Kounsel" pieces. This Kallipolis Kounsel series will begin with the concept and execution of "Socionomics". By definition, economics is the study of the production, distribution and consumption of goods and services. As my cow (junior at West Point) year began, I took microeconomics. In this class, we were told the key to economics was to think of it as a battle over the allocation of scarce resources.

These days with social media and increased digital stimulation, many people worry that good old fashioned face to face contact is diminishing into the background. In the Kallipolis, we disagree. We feel that as this contact becomes more scarce it is even more important to hone your interpersonal skills and take advantage of the opportunities presented to become socionomically rich.

Socionomics is not an exact science however having insight in the realm can change the way you think and approach real time relationships. So, sit back, relax and stay tuned for the Kallipolis Kounsel on Socionomics!

A New Home.