#so trans

vs

I wanted to do a bit on J.K. Rowling for a very simple reason. Cis people can have a hard time understanding just exactly what it is about Rowling’s repeated comments that upsets trans people. There’s a lot to pick from, but her 3,700 diatribe certainly doesn’t make things easy. How many average people are actually going to read that.

Instead, I focused on a much more run of the mill bit of transphobia.

“Sleep with any consenting adult who’ll have you”

Think of the implications of that kind of “advice.” Imagine saying that to any person, for any reason other than transphobia.

Your roommate goes out for a Tinder date. Do you say “have a nice time” or do you say “sleep with any consenting adult who’ll have you?”

SLEEP WITH VERY VERY VERY FEW OF THE CONSENTING ADULTS WHO’LL HAVE YOU

I can’t speak for the broader trans feminine population at large, but I’ll say this. It was never very hard at any point in my life or my transition to find men for a quickie. Even pre-HRT when I had no self-esteem, pretty damn easy to get stuffed when you want to.

Now, Rowling obviously thinks of trans women as men, but her point is so dehumanizingly offensive.

There are a lot of beautiful trans people out there, people with so much to bring to relationships, both casual and long team. Reducing us to “who’ll have you” frames trans people in a position of needing to beg for simple human intimacy.

You are worthy of love. You deserve to have relationships on equal footings. You don’t need to settle for “any consenting adult who’ll have you.” Settle for more.