#so more

Anger.

It wasn't like the emotion was entirely foreign to Fresh Cut Grass. He understood it well enough. When injustices happened, when one insulted you or something you liked, when you were hurt by others… anger was the result.

Well, at least it was for most people.

Ashton certainly seemed in tune with it!

The barbarian was basically fuelled by rage, breathed it as easy as most did air. It came easy to them, and FCG had to admit, they were a tad jealous.

To be so in tune with one’s inner aggression, it sounded delightfully freeing! He desperately wished to have his inner strength, the power to scream in the faces of those who wronged them. To wheel right up to Jiana Hexum and call her… her… well, as might say, a ‘dumb bitch’.

Not that THEY would ever say that! They couldn't even honestly think it.

Dear god was it frustrating.

“You right there, Letters?”

FCG’s head snapped up, finding Ashton mere inches away from him. Funny how someone so tall and heavy could sneak up on them like that! Or could be so sneaky in general. It was something they envied as well.

“Sorry Ashton! Seems I’m a little lost in my head today,” FCG replied with a weak laugh, earning a slight quirk of a frown in turn. Had he worried them?

“What's eating at you? There somebody I gotta punch? ‘Cause you know I’ll fuck anybody up REAL bad that's upset ya.”

There it was again, that truculent spirit of Ashton’s.

Always eager and quick to fight, a shining beacon of aggressive defiance.

He really ought to have their picture painted and placed in every dictionary right next to the word.

To have even a fraction of that burning, that passionate spirit…

“I know you would, and I'm real grateful for your kindness. It means a whole lot to me that you're willing to fight for me. But, well, this… You can't fight this. Unless you want to punch me in the head?” FCG paused, cocking his head to the side. “Maybe don't though, please. You're real strong, and this body is pretty old. I think you’d do a lotta damage and I don't wanna make Milo have to fix me up agai-”

“Fuckin’ woah there,” Ashton leant down, now eye level with him. A jade hand dropped down on his shoulder, the simple weight of it relaxing in and of itself. With it being Ashton’s, that calming effect was doubled. His touch was always so gentle with FCG, like they were precious and soft and… and alive as any other flesh and blood person.

If they had a heart it may have skipped a beat.

“Sorry…"

“No sorries, Letters. Just don't want you working your ass into a panic. I got you, okay?”

“I don't have an ass.”

“Haha. Hilarious.”

Ashton rolled his eyes, yet even with that he was unable to keep the affection they felt for the little automaton from glimmering bright.

“I… I guess I was just thinking about anger, and how hard it is for me to really reach it. You know, when I'm all normal like. Maybe if I could express it as wonderfully as you do, I wouldn't snap anymore!”

“Huh.”

A beat of silence passed, and FCG wondered if he should apologize once more.

“Maybe I could teach you to let loose. To release the beast and fuck shit up.”

“Really? You wouldn't mind? I don't know how good at it I’d be and I'd hate to frustrate yo-”

“Shut up, Grass. Quit acting like you're a fucking burden! You're… fuck, you're gonna make me say it, aren't you?” Ashton groaned, the sound only growing louder as FCG stared on in confusion. “Fine!! You're my best friend, okay? You mean more to me than anyone in this gods forsaken world! So quit shit-talking yourself so we can go beat on some trees.”

If Fresh Cut Grass could smile, they’d be positively beaming right now.

“That was so kind of you to say, Ashton!” they chirped, oblivious to the way Ashton’s face started to heat up. “You’re my best friend too! You’ve been my favorite person since the day I met ya!”

“Yeah yeah, no need to get so mushy now…” Ashton muttered, in what FCG might have thought was embarrassment. “You're makin’ this sound like some kinda cheesy ass love confession.”

“But I do love you?”

Oh. They hadn't known that Ashton's face could go so dark! That was a lot of blood rushing to one place… how concerning.

“Fuck, Letters, you can't just say shit like that!”

“Why not? It's true! I love you very much. Is…” FCG quietened, his voice now almost meak in nature. “Is it because of what I am? Is it wrong for someone like me to love someone like you? Someone more… more alive?”

That made sense. No one would want to be loved by someone like themself. Someone so cold and rigid and impossible to-

Before that thought could even be finished, Fresh Cut Grass found themselves pulled tight into Ashton’s embrace, and with it they found their insecurities crushed.

“Fuck that! You're just as alive as I am, okay? Don't give me that bullshit. You're fucking incredible, Letters. I was just being a little bitch over all the affection and the… I haven't had someone say that in a long ass time. It just- It threw me off guard. You aren't wrong to love me. You just have shit taste.”

“... I don't have any taste. I can't taste anything.”

“You know what I meant, you little shit.”

FCG laughed weakly, clinging to the genasi with surprisingly shaky hands. Gosh, how had everything gotten so out of hand?

“So it's… it's okay then? For me to love you?”

Ashton dropped his head, lips coming to lay the sweetest of kisses right to their forehead.

“Fuck yeah. The feeling’s mutual, just so you know. Still think you have shit taste, but hey, who am I to judge?”

Mutual.

The same.

A feeling returned.

Perhaps it wasn't so bad to be lacking in rage when they could feel a joy, a love so pure, as strongly as this.

Ashton could keep the rage.