#so intersting

Anon Hi!  First thank you for this ask ( I love getting Got/Asoiaf messages.. please keep them coming!). 

Second, yes I agree. Sansa didnt hate Jon, but she was not close to him. Their relatioship was at best,i would say, “dutiful”. They cared for one another because they had to,not because they were close (like jon and ar*a.)

(that make the marriage for duty a possibility too. They  had to co-exist as half-siblings, they can  learn to love each other as husband and wife. Its the reason why i think ar*a and jon could never work as a couple,  if its a marriage of duty, and we know how Grrm loves those: see Ned and Cat). 

Plus as much as I love Sansa, Grrm stated (and its clear in the text) that she was created to build conflict in the stark family. Of course it doesnt mean she hates the starks, it just mean she wanted out. Sansa wanted the south, with the turneys, the knights and kings landing after dark. She prayed to the Seven and not the old gods, because she find them more pretty and less dull. She lost her wolf. These are important events that shaped who Sansa is. 

These reasons are what makes Sansa SO RELATABLE (to me at least..). She is the impersonification of the saying “you dont understand how important a thing is until you lost it”. She wanted to go away from home, she didnt love the north, Winterfell.

 And NOW, well now she dreams of return to her roots, to re-create that home she lost. To name her future children like the brothers (and sister) that she has lost. Thats what makes Sansa such a good, interesting character. She doesnt start with a  mature personality (like Dany, or Tyrion, Bran or Arya who are great characters of course) she was a naive and spoiled child who regrets her choices and tries to survive with her self and her mistakes.

Sansa is a character who changes the MOST in the books. Not only from the first book when Ned dies, but even from  “A storm of swords” to “ A feast for crows” when we  see how she changes her mind about being a bastard, how she starts to understand how a bastard lives: 

“Lysa will not come alone. Before she arrives, we must be clear on who you are.”   

“Who I… I don’t understand.”   

“Varys has informers everywhere. If Sansa Stark should be seen in the Vale, the eunuch will know within a moon’s turn, and that would create unfortunate… complications. It is not safe to be a Stark just now. So we shall tell Lysa’s people that you are my natural daughter.”   

“Natural?” Sansa was aghast. “You mean, a bastard?”  - Sansa (A storm of swords” 

Here Sansa is upset about the possibility of being a bastard, she considers it  a disgrace (we are talking about a girl who was a lady at three, who since she was born has accepted the rules of Westeros culture). But then in a “Feast for crows” 

“Sansa Stark went up the mountain, but Alayne Stone is coming down … Alayne was an older woman, and bastard brave.”-  Sansa ( A feast for crows) 

Sansa (only a few charapters later) thinks that a bastard is brave.

I love the dinamic of Jon/Sansa ( even as not romantic) because  for me Jon starts the book, with the same mentality as Sansa even though they are at the total opposite Social status. He wanted to prove himself, he wanted to go to the wall and be honorable, like his father Ned, just like Sansa wanted to be a perfect lady, do her duty like her mother Catelyn. But Sansa and Jon are at the opposite social position in Winterfell (the high lady, who is expected to become a queen, and a poor bastard who doesnt have a future).Still they have the same naive dreams of glory and greatness. Both think their life is like the song they loved as children ( look at these quotes…): 

Jon: Daeron Targaryen was only fourteen when he conquered Dorne

.Benjen: A conquest that lasted a summer. Your Boy King lost ten thousand men taking the place, and another fifty trying to hold it. Someone should have told him that war isn’t a game- Jon snow I  “A game of thrones” 

Jon idolized tragic heroes like Daeron, just like Sansaromanticizes life:  

When the Knight of Flowers had spoken up, she’d been sure she was about to see one of Old Nan’s stories come to life…..

Lord Baelish stroked his little pointed beard and said, “Nothing? Tell me, child, why would you have sent Ser Loras?”Sansa had no choice but to explain about heroes and monsters. The king’s councillor smiled.

 "Well, those are not the reasons I’d have given, but … “ He had touched her cheek, his thumb lightly tracing the line of a cheekbone. ”Life is not a song, sweetling. You may learn that one day to your sorrow.“- Sansa III “A game of thrones”. 

Both learn that lesson is a hard way. And Grrm is putting them in their respective shoes. Jon is learning the responsibility of being in high position as Lord commander, while Sansa is a bastard. Jon is offered Winterfell by stannis, while Sansa is accused by her aunt of being a beggar. Robb makes Jon is heir, putting him ahead of Sansa. This in not concidences, this is Grrm making Sansa understand what Jon endured all his life, and doing the same thing for Jon. They even have similar chapters in the books ( Sansa A feast for crows chapter when she is coming down the mountain, has parallels with jon chapter in a storm of swords when he climbs the wall. In fact in that case not only Jon is mentioned but she hears a ghost wolf, big as mountains….).