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preoccupied

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Not us humans self proclaiming ourselves as "the most intelligent species on planet earth"
LOL
katsuki stares at you from across the street, is that really you? the you from middle school? the you who always sat with him when people got tired of his mean and rough words? you look so different, not a bad different per se, just a melancholic different. he could see how you grew up, your curves have filled out, and your face slimmed down too, but some things never really change, like the way youāre holding flowers looks the exact same as when you held the books that your teachers gave you, the way your eyes glimpse over the sunlight peaking behind the skyscrapers looks identical to how you looked at the pigeons that landed outside the classroom windows, you look the same, but also so foreign that it makes his skin itch.
and heās about to open his mouthā call out your name and run up to you and ask āhow are you doing, loser?ā, but he pauses, because he remembered just why you stopped talking in the first place.
the noise of crumbled cardboard pierces your eardrums, and you stare, crestfallen, but bakugou was too busy looking at the floor angrily to notice just how eerie it is to see that expression on your face. your mouth opens, sounds of incoherence tumble out and he laughs, because who do you think you are to confess to him?
āstop following me around you quirkless freak! are you also fucked in the head? itās been 2 years, just lay it off, god damn stupid chalk..ā his spit lands on your face as he flails around, he wonāt know that expression on your face because heās already turning around and leaving the classroom and slamming the door behind him. you never knew that youād grow to cringe at that nickname. he started calling you chalk after he had teased you for stalking him, and so whenever youād try and deny that accusation along with your lisp, he had turned to mocking your pronunciation instead. āwhat? loser canāt even pronounce the word stalk?ā but youāve only ever felt adoration from that name, but things change.
the clacks of his shoes are loud in the tensed air, he wonāt know just how much that stepped-on box of chocolate mattered to you until tomorrow, he wonāt know just how much it killed you when he exploded your valentineās day card without a second thought, because the day after that you didnāt wait for him at the school gate, you didnāt sit with him during lunch, you didnāt wave at him when he entered the classroom, you didnāt even look at him when he knocked into you on the hallway.
he didnāt think anything of it at first. he thought it was maybe a tantrum that would be forgotten after a few days, but that never happened. you continued ignoring him, and after a week, he tried to find you, to ask you āwhat the hell is your problem?ā but even your friends told him off, he couldnāt reach you, his number was blocked on your house phone, it was like you had disappeared from his life, a ghost he can see but never touch.
he never really understood why he felt so weird and sticky after you started ignoring him. you stopped interacting with him completely, the last thing youāve ever said to him being āexcuse meā when he was blocking you from your seat during the graduation ceremony, but you had not met his eye, and for some months after that incident, he thought it was fear, and he had felt giddy, god damn stupidly fucking giddy that he finally got you off his tail, and he thought he shouldāve felt that way. until he grew up, until he got into U.A. and saw how chubby cheeks would look at deku, how dunce face would sneak glances at ears, and how shitty hair would stare at raccoon eyes, and finally did he realise what he had lost.
but heās bakugou katsuki, and he knows just how much being a hero meant that tomorrow, let alone the next second, will never be guaranteed in his line of profession. so he walks up to you, fixes his tousled hair left from his patrol, and heaves a determined breath before saying, āhavenāt seen you in a long time, chalk.ā
youāre jostled because you almost didnāt recognise him. with the way his voice has gone down a few octaves since, and also with the absence of curse words in his sentence, heād grown, and heās no longer the childish boy whoād laugh at the people who canāt get pass the monkey bars, heās grown, youāve seen him on television, and although certain parts of him will never change, his screams are the same, either that be to shitty deku, or to reporters to get the fuck out of my face before i blast you to pieces!
but youāre also not the same star-struck girl in middle school anymore.
āplease donāt call me that.ā
the way you wrench out those syllables was painful. katsuki was a big and significant part of your childhood, and as much as you wanted to hate him and to leave him behind you, he was still that kid who protected you from the other bullies in the sandbox when you were seven.
so when you see the oh-so similar crestfallen face on him, you wanted to cry.
āi know i never got the chance to apologise for that, iām different now, iām a hero and i- i got a therapist, i just wanted to, fuck! i donāt know, i wanted to try again,ā heās shocked by himself, taken aback by how easily the words that he begged with rolled off his tongue like butter, and by how cold you seem to look.
he glances down, and he catches the lanyard around your neck. he sees the āDr.ā before your name, so he canāt help the sense of pride he feels in his chest to know that youāve become a doctor, your dream job from all those years ago.
he canāt blame you, not everyone is like izuku and so naively forgiving, so heās desperate when he tries, ācome on, i know i was an asshole, and i- i guess i still am, but please, i was so much of a boy back then, i know you, i really want be your friend again, your favourite animal was a tiger, your favourite colour was orangeāā
āitās black, now.ā
in those three words, youāve conveyed all that you needed to, and the way katsukiās eyebrows shoot up, you know he feels mocked, pushed down, but you donāt care, you donāt care enough.
āgoodbye, ātsuki, if the timing was better next time, maybe i wouldāve said yes.ā
Sanal aÅka inanıyormusun??
Chimptopia characters redesigned by a 13 y/o girl

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