#snuirrell

Professor Sprout sets them up together because they’re in the same age range and they both look... like they could use a date. Somehow this turns into a relationship. They spend two years exuding such potent awkwardness and anti-charisma as a couple that it’s difficult not to look away.

The only thing keeping them together is a vague fear of dying alone and an interest in theoretical magic.

Quirrell has the unfortunate habit of chuckling whenever he’s nervous, and Snape has a viscerally bad reaction every time.

Snape swears that he’s not staying up until four in the morning because Quirrell retires at seven and he’s avoiding him, he’s just a night owl.

Quirrell applies to the DADA job relying exclusively on what he learned listening to Snape infodump for two years. Dumbledore hires him and for the rest of the year, Snape only communicates with death stares.

Quirrell breaks up with him over owl while he’s away on his sabbatical. The letter is filled with melodramatic schlock such as ‘I’ve enjoyed the season of my life I spent with you.’ and metaphors about two ships passing each other in the night. Snape reads it aloud in the staff room because McGonnagal thinks it’s hilarious.

When Quirrell comes back, sporting a flashy new turban, he halfheartedly tries to apologise to Snape for the way things ended, and Snape casually informs him that he pawned all of the belongings Quirrell left in his quarters.

Voldemort doesn’t allow Quirrell to visit the pawnshop in Hogsmeade, so that is where his family heirlooms stay.

Snape spends the rest of the year harassing Quirrell like he does in the books, except all the older students and the professors think he’s doing it because he has gone full crazy ex-boyfriend. Quite a few teachers try to get Dumbledore to talk to Snape, not yet aware that this is all according to Dumbledore’s orders.

Quirrell bites it whilst trying to get the philosopher’s stone, and everyone realises who’s been living on the back of his head. McGonnagal takes Snape out for drinks to apologise for the time she tried to organise an intervention with the rest of the house heads.

" I-I-I'm sorry s-se— "

" — don't ! "

" i have t-to do this ! " quirinus yelled back after being cut off .

" no you don't— quirinus please just put it down damnit ! it will NOT end this way ! " Severus shook with rage , how dare he , how dare quirinus ?!

" I TRUSTED YOU ! " he screamed , watching as quirinus flinched away heavily . a part of him felt guilty , only for anger to squash it like a little bug as if it was nothing a second later .

though the wounds of betrayal stung , he clinged onto hope . he hoped , for quirrell to give up , to say he was joking or— or walk away , anything damnit !

but he got no reply . after his outburst , the entire room had gone dead silent , quiet hiccups and sobs mixed with heavy breathing only occupying the silence .

quirinus gave him one last begging look . to forgive him , to not hold this against him but he didn't care . he had betrayed him in the most cruelest way possible .

" I'm s-s-sorry . . " choked out the stuttering man , hand shaking as he raised it and——

" uno . " — and dropped the +4 card down onto the pile with the rest of the stacked draw cards .

on his left , he heard sybill gasp , for not even she had seen this betrayal coming . holding her 5 cards close to her chest protectively , mouth forming an ' O ' .

he glanced at the others surrounding the table , and watched as gilderoy doubled over , wheezing into the still shocked seer's shoulder , while Minerva looked at quirinus and severus with pity . only albus was unreadable , for his face was hidden behind his handful of cards .

squirrell quirinus ?

NO . IGUANA QUIRINUS . when nervous him just holding the end of his tail , and when he's near someone he is fond of / likes / loves , the end of said tail wrapping around their ankle if he's close enough ,,,

Severus is a raven .

Minerva , is obviously , a cat .

i thought hagrid of a dog , i don't exactly know why . he gives me that energy .

voldy as usual , a snake .

gilderoy is a peacock ( honestly what else did you expect ?? )

~ EVIL BOYFRIENDS ~

gilderoy wants the attention on him, he wants everything to happen exactly as he says, he wants to be the star. what better way than the create the evil yourself, and control the entire story ? to take said control, willingly or not . nothing but mere puppets, strings attached to his fingers, all eyes on him. because he wants them to be, and people will do as he wishes.

quirinus is sick of people looking down to him. he wants to be respected. to be someone in this world. he wants to give back all the things others have been oh so kind to give him. let's see how they will feel when they are the ones nothing but a bug under his shoe. so easy to hurt, so easy to dismiss. There is only power, and those too weak to seek it . . . And he will prove to people that he is not the weak one anymore.

bonus ship, snuirrel or/and snockhart.

so my brain went " let me compare their heights " some time ago. i asked my friend what they HCd their snape's height. they answered, so i went ahead and put it all in

and let me tell you

look at them. LOOK AT THEM. QUIRINUS WAS ALREADY SMALLER THAN SEVERUS IN THE MOVIES, NOW HE'S EXTRA SMALL.

Did i also edit a scene to make him look exactly this small ? yes i did.