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Jay's never really thought about any of this before. She knows she's aroace, and that was enough for her, and ok everything's a little off but like. it's fine. Doesn't impact at all, and sure she doesn't fit conventional femininity but like. she's a legend and a captain and chosen by legendaries, she's allowed not to.
And then she meets some small people who are like "sure but gender's for chumps" and thinks that maybe they're onto something
~
Alyss is talking to someone when I enter the temple, so I hang back and wait for them to finish. It isnât anyone I know, but thatâs hardly surprising. I donât spend so much time around Snowpoint these days.
 I busy myself pretending to study the stained glass windows, but I know them all too well. Besides which, my mind is still... in the same turmoil it has been since leaving Alola.
 âJay?â Alyssâ approach startles me; I hadnât noticed her finishing and walking over.
 âHi. Is... are you busy just now?â
 âCanât you see?â Alyss laughs. âIâm... stowed out. As it were.â She glances about, like sheâs expecting to see more of us, but itâs just Vulp and I.
 âSounding more like a native every day.â
 âWhat can I help you with?â
 âItâs uh... personal. Rather than legendary.â I fiddle with my sleeves, and hate how much this makes me feel like a child. Like I donât know anything.
 Which about this I sort of donât.
 Alyss only hesitates for a moment before she nods. âLetâs go back to my house.â
 Alyssâ house isnât far from the temple, and itâs warm and cozy and... so much more personable than the temple. Which makes sense.
 âSo.â Alyss leans against the counter as she waits for the kettle to boil. âWhat advice are you looking for?â
 âFirst of all, Iâm sorry if this is too personal.â I toy with the teaspoon she used for the hot chocolate.
 Alyss raises her eyebrows and says nothing.
 âHow... did you know you were trans?â
 Alyss nods and shifts her stance. âThatâs... tricky.â
 âSorry-â
 She shakes her head, holding up a hand to stop me. âI have half an answer. I came on it sort of slowly. The common story is when puberty hits, and your body starts developing again, but I⌠figured it before then? I did have a waver when I realised that people were treating me delicately because I had albinism, not because I was a girl.â
 The kettle boils, and Alyss pours it out for us, making herself a cup of tea and me my hot chocolate.
 I cup the mug in my hands and walk through into the sitting room for comfier seats. Vulp leaps into my lap the moment she can and curls up there, tails pillowing her head.
 âI sort of â I didnât at the time, but Iâve thought a lot since then about whether I sort of was reacting to how I thought they were treating me more like a girl, but ah â no. Iâm female.â Alyss continues once weâve both sat down. âMy parents got me on puberty blockers while we sorted things out. By the time I got to travelling, I was transitioning.â She frowns. âWhich, yâknow, caused some problems when I realised I hadnât updated my passport before leaving.â
 âOh, that was⌠Vermilion.â I run a hand over Vulpâs back.
 Alyss grins. âYou flew in and saved me. My hero.â
 I snort and half grin back at her.
 âSo â why are you asking?â
 I stop stroking Vulp. âSo we were just in Alola. Arlette and Aurora have made more friends â they must get that from Jayden, I donât understand how theyâre so good at it â and two of them⌠Iâm gonna get this wrong, hang on.â I frown, trying to remember. âOne uses they/them, and the other usesâŚÂ ve/ver I think? For pronouns.â
 I see Alyss nod out of the corner of my eye, but she doesnât say anything to interrupt.
 âAnd like â theyâre⌠in their teens, I think? Older than Arlette and Aurora, but not⌠not by much, I donât think. But they just⌠seem so certain. And I. Donât know? I mean I didnât know about any of this until I met you, not really. And itâs not like I think about it much, but also I just. Donât know how I know.â
 âYouâre⌠youâre questioning your gender?â Alyss asks, her voice gone soft.
 I nod and feel like a child as I keep my eyes on Vulp.
 Alyss nods and settles back. âWill it help you to have a definite answer?â
 âMaybe? I think⌠if I hadnât known to question it, Iâd be fine. But if Iâm questioning it, that means Iâm not just⌠cis.â
 âOr maybe you are and youâve just never had to think about why before because youâve always been told that. Some people do question their gender and donât change it, and theyâre better for it.â
 âI just hate not knowing. There isnât like⌠there isnât a definitive answer, is there.â
 âProbably not. How do you feel about pronouns?â
 âOh, Iâm very pro nouns. Love to actually have one, some day.â
 Alyss snorts. âJay.â
 I grin. âSorry.â I want to lean back, but I stay hunched over Vulp. Take a drink almost as an afterthought. âI donât mind she, I guess? Itâs sort of. There. It works.â
 âWould you prefer a different one, like they?â
 I tilt my head to consider that. âMaybe?â
 âSo if I say likeâŚâ Alyss pauses to consider for a moment. âOh, yeah, thatâs Jay, theyâre a right pain in my backside but a decent enough friend.â She flicks me a grin. âTheyâre a pirate and a trainer, so theyâre clearly just in it for the gold.â
 I laugh. âOh, thatâs fun.â I tilt my head. âYeah, I like that.â
 âSo you want me to change over pronouns?â
 âI think⌠sometimes? Maybe? I donât â I donât know if Iâm⌠ready for people to know yet? And, I mean, I still⌠sort of need to work it all out for myself.â
 Alyss nods. âAlright.â
 âThanks.â
 She shrugs. âAlways. You know where to find me.â
#
 Alyss isnât with anyone when I barrel in the next time, and Iâve been holding this in for so long that I just sort of burst straight in with the first thought I have going. âSo pronouns arenât exactly⌠I mean they are gendered, but they donât have to be? Like we call ships and the sea she, but they arenât.â
 âAnd hello to you too, Jay.â She looks up. âIâm doing well, thanks for asking.â
 âSorry.â I wince, but she laughs. âHi. Howâs it going?â
 âMore gender thoughts?â
 âSomething like that. I donât know how to quantify it. It feels⌠sort of like I could. I donât know. Like Iâm not female but Iâm just. me. And she is fine because my ship is a she, and so is the sea. You feel me?â
 âHow long have you been holding this in?â
 âYou know when you just sort of get something stuck in your head and thatâs it and you canât stop thinking about it until you have an answer?â I wait for her nod. âYeah.â
 âOops.â
 I shrug. âItâs a thing.â
 âAnd youâve been waiting to talk to me about it.â
 âYeah.â I frown. âMaybe I shouldâve talked to someone else. Sorry. I know Soise has a fairly lax approach to gender, so like. But I donât know how much she understands?â
 âWould you like a drink with this, or a walk?â Alyss asks. âYouâre⌠vibrating.â
 âOh.â I hold my hands up, and realise theyâre trembling. âSorry. Walk?â
 Alyss laughs and pushes me towards the side door, and we leave the temple for the woods.
 It isnât snowing but the paths still have a hefty covering. We turn north, away from the town, and Alyss sticks her hands in her pockets and waits for me to continue.
 âNot being able to pin down a straight answer sort of sucks, you know?â The snow makes it hard to take my usual strides, which is probably for the best since Alyss could never keep up with them.
 Alyss snorts. âYouâve never done a straight thing in your life.â
 I let out a startled laugh, because Iâm not used to her stealing my lines.
 âBut listen. You donât have to have a definitive answer.â
 âBut-â I wrinkle my nose.
 âNo, listen. There isnât a definitive answer. Thereâs no â check enough boxes on this list and itâs definitely you. No one else can decide for you. The confusion of being in the middle of working it out sucks, I get it! But wherever you land will be right. Donât... make it worse by thinking you arenât enough.â
 We pass the back of the temple, and it doesnât take much longer before the trees are the only things we can see.
 Thereâs sometimes, when weâre out on the ship and the sea is all I can see, that I miss the snow and the trees.
 Thereâs other times when I remember that I hate not being able to see everything around me, that anything might spring an ambush in here.
 That things have, in the past.
 âAre you even listening right now?â
 I blink. âSorry what?â
 Alyss rolls her eyes, grinning. âItâs fine. Really. Just imparting my precious words of wisdom over here.â
âI think I got it. I think.â I frown. âI just â don't like not knowing.â
 âWell, then try different things on. And hereâs the kicker; you donât have to tell anyone. Not until youâre ready. Maybe thatâs not ever.â
 I nod, still sort of thinking it over.
 We walk further into the snow, and there is something watching us.
 I hold a hand up to stop Alyss and narrow my eyes, reaching for some snow, to mould it into... either a sword or a snowball, depending on what it was.
 âSomething stalking us?â Alyss sounds perfectly at ease, like she trusts she canât be hurt back here. Like the Sky Lord himself would save her from anything.
 Maybe he would.
 âHm.â I narrow my eyes and launch a snowball into the shadows between the trees.
 âHey!â My voice echoes back at us.
 âSoise.â
 âThis is why I said we shouldnât.â Brith steps out first, with Sesser on her shoulder.
 "Didnât stop you following though, did it?â
 I tilt my head as Sesser flits across and lands on my shoulder. âHm. What are you doing out here?â
 âYou seemed stressed,â Soise replies, brushing snow out of her black fur. âHey, Alyss.â
 Alyss waves at the two of them, seeming amused.
 âIâm... not stressed?â
 âSure.â Soise slings her arm around my shoulders, dislodging Sesser.
 She bats a paw at Sesser, waving her away as the swablu cheeps at her.
 Sesser lands back on Brithâs proffered paw and fluffs up, and if she could glare Iâm sure Soise would be getting the brunt of it.
 âSo. Gender got you down, huh?â
 Alyss stifles a snort with her hand.
 I shrug Soiseâs arm away. âThanks for listening in.â
 âSee, this is why you should really have been a zoroark.â She brings her arm back in, unconcerned. âI get to be whoever I want to be.â And she demonstrates, every step a different form, from zoroark to delphox to gardevoir to gallade... to human. Flips between genders.
 âOk, but considering â wait. Would you prefer different pronouns?â
 âAll the pronouns, please.â Soise stops in her most common human form, a Black woman with blue dipped box braids, and grinned her too sharp teeth at me. âI collect âem.â
 âWe - I,â Brith corrects herself, "didnât mean to intrude. But since weâre here, is there something you want to say?â
 âI-â
 âThey're having one too many thoughts,â Alyss says, when I hesitate.
 I stifle a squeak at her words, hands flying to cover my mouth.
 âThey are, are they?â Brith casts me an amused glance.
 âI liked that.â I stare at Alyss.
 âJay would like people to use they/them, occasionally,â Alyss says to Soise and Brith. âItâs a work in progress.â
 âBut uh - donât. Tell anyone else? Yet?â I shrug. âI donât know how to say it, anyway.â
 âJust tell âem your pronouns are on holiday or something.â Soise shrugs. âHad to rent out a new set.â
 Brith rolls her eyes. âWe can do that for you, Captain.â
 âSure. Easy as.â Soise dips her head in a nod.
 âGlad thatâs cleared up,â Alyss says, and clears her throat. âNow would you mind clearing out while Jay n I catch up?â
 âOh, but-â
 Brith claps a paw on Soiseâs shoulder. âSee you back on the ship.â
 I nod and watch as Brith drags Soise back through the snow. âThanks.â
 âAny time, Cap.â Soise salutes, twists out of Brithâs grip, and walks alongside her.
 âCome to check on the hatchery?â Alyss asks.
 âSure.â I turn and follow her north.
 âAt least youâre not vibrating anymore.â
 I hold out a hand, and sheâs right. Itâs still again. âSorry. I shouldnât have just landed all that on your shore.â
 âWhat else are friends for?â Alyss shrugs.
 âNot... normally that.â
 Alyss laughs and nudges me. âOk, but it was a very Elder task. Advice n that.â
 âWouldnât catch me going to the old Elder with that.â I snort.
 âWhat about the other elders you know?â
 I hesitate. âI... I donât know.â I frown. âI mean â they donât have the perspective you do, so.â
 Alyss nods. âJust between us, then.â
 âAnd Soise and Brith.â
 âAnd them.â
 âAnd...â I took a breath.
 âYou arenât beholden to tell anyone else,â she reminds me. âNot Jayden, nor the kids. Not your parents, not your sister, not your other friends. If you arenât comfortable with the idea, then it can just be the four of us.â
 âI dislike secrets. And hiding. But...â I wrinkle my nose. âI donât know. Iâll think about it.â
 âOf course. Thereâs no rush. And hey.â She nudges me again. âMy doorâs always open, as you know.â
 âI know. Thank you.â I nudge her back. âReally.â
In which I very much just rewrote a roleplay one of the cowriters and I did to make it work better for me
(despite my misgivings about how likely Jay is to actually get married but it's fiiiiine she feels she gotta)
[2] [3]
~
 I smooth the dress out and step out from behind the screen. âUm⌠does that look alright?â
 Mam looks up first and smiles, eyes bright with tears. âOh, Jay⌠you look lovely!â
 âStill reckon my dress was better,â Joanna says, but she nods.
 Mam purses her lips, shooting Joanna a glare.
 âHow âbout you get changed?â I say quickly, moving towards the chair in front of the mirror. âYour dress is waiting back there.â
 âWhat is it, a jynx?â Joanna shudders, moving past.
 I snort. âNow thereâs an idea.â
 Mam takes up the hairbrush and attacks my thick mane. I just sit there and grit my teeth as she rips out tugs. It isnât as bad as it could have been, possibly to do with the fact that itâs still slightly damp from the shower.
 âBit dark for a wedding, isnât it?â
 âJust put it on,â I call back.
 Mam puts down the brush and hurries behind the screen, eliciting a yell from Joanna. âOh hush, youâll need help doing up the back.â
 I gingerly apply makeup, wishing Candice could be here to do it for me. But sheâd shown me how it would look best, and I could emulate it⌠hopefully.
 âTake off the jewellery as well,â mam says.
 âOk, the necklace, the metal bracelet, and the claw, fine⌠but Iâm keeping the berry bracelet and my wedding ring.â
 âI wasnât suggesting you take that off,â mam retorts, bustling back out and returning to fix up my hair.
 âIs it just me, or is this dress warm?â Joanna steps out in a dress with a lilac torso and a shimmering blackberry-blue panelled skirt.
 âVolcarona scales in the bodice. Figured youâd appreciate it.â I shot her a smile via the mirror, finishing off the mascara.
 âOoh⌠nice.â She grabs the brush, pulling it through her own hair once or twice. âShouldâve redone the highlightsâŚâ
 Mamâs lips thin as she starts small plaits in my hair, threading beads and feathers onto them.
 âStill got time, I think?â
 âI donât have the stuff with me.â Joanna shrugs, putting the brush down.
 âIt works quite well faded, anyway.â
 Mam puts the last band in and turns to pick up the circlet from its place on top of the veil. I offer my reflection a tight smile and stand up.
 âI⌠I donât have to put on makeup, do I?â Joanna eyes the table with trepidation.
 âNot if you donât want to.â I shake my head. âNot like anyoneâs going to be looking at you, anyway.â
 Joanna laughs, watching as my mam sets the circlet on my head. I pull the gloves â fancy arm warmers, really â up to my elbows, slipping the loops over my middle fingers and making sure theyâre lying right. Mam fusses for a moment getting the veil to lie right across my head and down my back, and then thereâs a knock at the door.
 âIs everyone ready?â Dad calls through it.
 âYes,â I reply, gesturing for Joanna to open it.
 She catches up her cloak â not her usual one, a far smarter one â and opens the door.
 Dad says nothing, just stares at us. I smile at him, stepping out of the dressing room towards him.
 âYou look beautiful,â he breathes, taking my arm.
 I shift to properly hug him. âThank you.â I rest my chin on his shoulder, pressing my nose into his neck.
 âJay, dear, try not to mess the two of you.â
 âIâm not,â I reply, releasing my father. âShall we?â
 He smiles back, and leads us down the corridor.
 Pie is waiting by the door, and erects a bubble shield around us as we leave the building.
 My pack is waiting there, and form a secondary escort just outside of the forcefield as we walk to the temple. Venus slips through the forcefield to Joannaâs side, sleek and wearing a smart collar. Vulp is not far behind her, looking primped and preened, with a lopsided tiara of her own looped around one ear.
 Candice and Molly are waiting on the temple steps, and I am not quick enough to stop Molly from squealing and flinging her arms around me, near clouting me in the head with her bouquet of flowers.
 âOk â thanks,â I gasp, hugging her in return.
 Candice passes Joanna a bunch of smoky red flowers to contrast with Mollyâs light blue ones. âThe small flower girls are waiting inside. They got cold.â
 âThanks.â I smile at her, taking the bouquet of white flowers â lilies, snow drops â that she passes me.
 âDonât trip.â She grins. âCome on, Joy.â
 The two of them enter the temple.
 I take a breath, steadying my nerves. This was stupid. I couldnât be getting nervous at this, could I?
 âAny worries?â Joanna murmurs from behind me. âYou know I could always call Whitetip or Flare, and you could make a run for it.â
 âWhere would I run to?â
 âAnywhere. You could go free, live however you like.â
 My dad places a hand on the door. âReady?â
 I nod. âI am. Livinâ how I like. Weâre free. I can do this.â
 Dad pushes open the door and holds his arm out for mine. I slip my arm through the crook of his elbow and walk with him down the aisle, Joanna and Molly â and two smaller girls, the flower girls I assume â following us.
 The temple is warmer than usual. There are tapestries hanging between the arches, candles in sconces â I think a few might actually be litwick â and a carpet underfoot. Not even starting on the flowers.
 The music that is cascading through the hall is about the only reason I can keep walking. The walk seems long, far longer than I ever remember it being in the practices.
 But Jayden is waiting, with Alyss beyond him and Henry to his side. Heâs watching Alyss just now, not the aisle. My dadâs hand on my arm is probably the only thing keeping me from speeding up, from getting this over with.
 Heâs wearing a blue suit with a red shirt, I see as he turns. He raises his hands, allowing me to see the feather cufflinks. Braviary.
 âOh, braviary, nice,â Joanna says quietly behind me.
 I meet Jaydenâs eyes properly, and smile as I notice that the bird keeper calm has not been enough to stop the awe and wonder transfix his face as we walk closer.
 Dad pulls us to a halt opposite Jayden and leaves for his seat.
 âOh, they look perfect, donât they!â Molly squeaks, tugging Joanna into place behind me.
 Alyss laughs silently for a moment before assuming her âelder faceâ and waiting for everyone to calm down. The flower girls giggle, swinging their baskets from side to side before running to the side. The music slows to an aching finish and leaves us in silence.
 I smile at Jayden, lifting the veil away from my face awkwardly, trying to keep the flowers from going everywhere.
 âWelcome, Snowpoint.â Alyssâ voice is strong and confident, a far cry from the teenage elder I first knew. âWelcome, those of Mistralton.â She dips her head to Jaydenâs family and friends. âAnd, of course, welcome to Lavaridge.â She looks to Joanna briefly before raising her head to gaze over the entirety of the temple.
 I donât look back, fearing to see exactly how many people had turned up.
 âWelcome to Snowpoint, welcome to this binding.â
 Jayden hasnât quite managed to stop staring yet. I try not to fiddle with the flowers in my hands too much.
 âThese two swear now, before everyone here, to fly true with each other, sail before whatever wind may guide their path, and work together for the same purpose.â
 I smile. These amended vows worked so much better than the originals.
 âBut they have not sworn it yet,â Brith says from behind me, and though I knew that it was going to happen, I still tense up. âI contest this right, as they have yet to speak a word before us.â
 I force myself to relax. All normal, all was fine. Of course it was.
 âI swear it, now.â Jayden finally tears his eyes from my face to look past me, to Brith. âI swear to fly true, sail before the wind, and work with Jay, always, for our joint purpose.â
 âYou hear it?â Brith asks.
 âWe hear it,â the crowd rumbles back.
 As their noise dies away, I hear Molly hushing Joanna.
 âThen they have sworn and I witness true to keep their sails straight.â Brith pads forward to stand at Alyssâ side.
 She is wearing a band of silver on her head, from which thin chains trial down to wrap thin blue feathers around her aura sensors, matching the ones that hang from her ears. I bite back most of the gasp, but part still escapes me and I see Brith twitch a small smile.
 âOnly one has yet sworn.â Soise steps from the shadows behind Jayden. âI call you, NightGale, make good on the oath this man has already sworn to you.â
 Her usual pink scarf has been set aside in favour of a circlet like Brithâs and a silver tracery that holds her mane in place. Blue feathers hang from her ears and lie across her face like fine tattoos.
 I lick dry lips. My turn. âThen I swear it.â I lift my head, looking past Jayden to meet Soiseâs eyes. âI swear to fly true, sail before the wind and work with Jayden for ever purpose we see fit to pursue.â
 Soise turns to the crowd, raising her arms. âYou hear it?â
 âWe hear it.â
 âThen I, too, witness that they have sworn, and I will keep their words straight with you.â Soise turns to Brith and Alyss, bowing.
 âAnd now they have sworn before you all,â Alyss says, calling the attention back easily as Soise steps to stand beside her, âWe hold them before Rayquaza, Lord of our Town, and Articuno, Queen of the Ice. May these travellers be blessed by winds and weather ever fair to their needs.â
 As Jayden and I turn back to face each other, two altaria â one sparkling gold, the other resplendent in blue â swoop down from the arched roof above us, holding a sail carefully between them.
 Molly and Henry step forward to take the sail, bowing to the two altaria as they land.
 Jayden and I step back to give them space to walk to Alyss. Nestled in the centre of the sail are the rings, one dark blue and the other light blue â a braviaryâs colouring and an altariaâs.
 Alyss takes them and Molly and Henry step back to their places, Molly expertly folding the sail. She passes the dark blue one to Jayden and the light blue one to me. We step closer, and Jayden takes my left hand first. Without speaking a word, he slips the ring onto my finger, where it fits perfectly. I do the same for him, and the altaria take off.
 The crowd gasps as the air around us is suffused with a soft blue light and above us â above us, an altaria and a braviary are circling, dancing.
 âRayquaza sees your bond,â Alyss speaks up, âAnd holds you to keep true through the rest of your lives.â
 âWe will never break the bond that we have sworn.â Jayden and I speak together. âWe will hold it as high as the skies, letting it rest with the one who guides our paths.â
 The birds above us lock claws and dive straight for us.
 âHoly Groudon,â Joanna says, but I can see Soise grinning, and so I stand firm.
 The birds dive and, as they reach us, they fade and disintegrate into confetti that disappears as it lands.
 âThey are bound now, by word and by sky to hold this forever. It is â well done.â Alyss nods and bows.
 The big stained glass window behind her â showing Uxie and Rayquaza appearing to the first settlers â erupts with light, throwing shards of colour through the temple. The smaller windows were lit up as well, but through the big one the silhouettes of two dragonite can be seen, twisting together.
 And music ekes out into the hall once more and swells, and Jayden steps back with a gesture for me to spin. I spread my arms â my wings â and twirl.
 The crowd applauds, and Venus lets loose a volley of sparks. Jayden catches me and I lean into his chest, smiling as I catch sight of Joanna, crossing her arms across her chest in the Lavaridge way.
 âTo the hall?â Jayden asks, kissing my temple.
 Alyss nods. âLead the way.â
 âThank you, Alyss.â I smile at her. âReally.â
 âMy pleasure.â She bows.
 Most people are still in their seats, and only shift once weâre past them. Pie is waiting by the door with Elise, and she shields us once again as we leave the temple, stepping away down the cleared walkways to the hall.