#snowgrieved

     *    YOU  DO  NOT  REMEMBER  HOW  LONG  YOU  HAVE  BEEN  ASLEEP.    the last thing that you remember was your haphazardly strewn along lecture notes.    it was barely legible,  difficult to    DECIPHER     what you were even trying to do that you could not help but wonder why you even tried.    your flimsy attempt at trying to be a little more functional failed horrendously.    now,  as it stands,  you are stranded inside the school as loud lightning    &    thunder crashes,  painting the skies in a     BLINDING    light for a brief moment.    so used to solitude,  you barely factor in the other presence in the room.

you still feel weary from everything.     although naps are a better    SOURCE    of energy than anything else,  there is still that looming fatigue that you just cannot seem to shrug off.    you figure that it will follow you for the rest of your life.     popping a few of your    JOINTS    to regain feeling in your otherwise still tired body,  you try to rise from your seat.    you have half a mind to dial your mother's number but you have a feeling that it would not go through anyway considering the     FEROCITY     of the present weather.    besides,  she knows that you would not be too far anyway.

a familiar voice causes your head to turn,  the sight of noelle immediately    REINVIGORATING     that dormant energy that lies within you.    suddenly,  this sight felt familiar.    noelle and you,  inside of a building,  the rain is coming down hard,  so you speak of plans through barely quiet giggles as you throw together a     PLAN    of having her sleep over.    (  you shake your head.  )      

"  definitely don't think they will lock us in here,  "     especially since you figure that there might also be more    FACULTY    members who are also waiting the storm out.    it would be dangerous for them to set off even with a vehicle,  after all.     then, a     STROKE     of mischief.   like a lightbulb going off in your head as you snap your gaze back towards her.    eerie,  your honeyed irises growing crimson in the dark.    with your head lowering,  you smile.

"  though,  i think,  you should be more    SCARED    of being trapped here. . .  "    taking a step forward,  you trudge slowly.    like you are possessed,  each patter of the rain against the roof greatly accentuating every footstep you are taking.    you are slow on one second,  then    FASTER    in the next.     

your hand plants itself on her shoulder,  smile a little off.     "  with    ME.  "     

CRASH   !       a flash of lightning.    

(  ...  )

your hand falls back to your side soon after,  awkwardness now starting to seep in again.    that was familiar.    TOO    familiar.    angels,  you would have hell to     PAY     if you actually scared her too much.    clearing your throat,  you recollect yourself.    "  sorry.  "    clicking your tongue,  it takes everything within you to not cuss yourself off.

"  but,  uh,  yeah,  i agree.    we should stay in for a bit.   i don't think it'd be    SAFE     if we rush home currently.  "     stuffing your clammy hands within your pockets,  you try to find something else to discuss about.    "  you didn't have to    WAIT    for me though.    why did you  ?  "

cont. // @snowgrieved

This moment meant everything to them to be able to press the keys with their own hands. This piano held so many warm memories, not just for them but for those they considered family. Asgore, Toriel, Rudy, Asriel, Noelle, Dess, Kris missed them they missed them so much. Those moments were the happiest times of their life. This music was their love, their passion, something they showed so rarely put into its perfect ideal form. It was a beautiful set of songs.

Yet, it was only for them. The moment anyone else was near Kris always stopped playing. They didn't want to share this with anyone else. This one thing was theirs, it was something that couldn't be taken away no matter how much everything else was taken away.

Deep down, they felt like it was their fault. That they were cursed. Why else would their birth parents throw them away? Why would their current parents pull so far away from one another yet still drag them into the middle of their breakup? Why did they leave Noelle alone? They knew she suffered too, they knew so well how much she was broken by what happened. Yet, Kris hadn't tried to help.

(What could I do? I can't do anything...even now...I don't even know if what I'm doing is the right thing. And the SOUL keeps using me like its damn toy! Sure, it might not have done anything bad but this is still my body. I can't take this! I just want this to be over!)

Of course none of this inner turmoil was known. Only the music rang out within the big room. Kris was lost within the notes of the piano.

"Young miss!" The Addison called out to the Lightner, hoping to get her attention. "I hate to trouble you in your current state, but would you like something to help calm you down? Maybe some time with some quiet time with the Tasques I foster?"

      *   IT    FEELS   NICE   TO  BE  TUCKED  AWAY  FROM      the world at times.    it moved too fast for you,  got too busy for you,     &     it didn't have time for you.     you were always the loser out there,  having to scrape up scraps just to make something work.     although you    SOMETIMES     found your footing with the people out there,  it was much easier to hide away and take in the quiet of your surroundings.    the    CRISP,    summer air caresses past your cheek while blossoms rest by your beaten sneakers.    each color reminds you of the passing spring,  how much time has passed.    it feels a little bittersweet but at least you do not    NEED    to confront anything else in here.

you have company with you.     she was a variable that you did not expect,  someone who you    STUMBLED    upon in this exact same clearing.     then again,  she was the only other person apart from your brother    &    her sister who knew of this area.    perhaps she wanted a change of pace from the world too  ?     riddled with     NOSTALGIA,     that sense of yearning to return back to a time that cannot be brought must have led you both here.    funny how you still remain fundamentally the same despite those years.     yet her shy wave earlier kept you bolted in place,  forcing you to remember that all you have left from her are     MEMORIES     and your fear of her indifference.

you have not said much to her,  merely nodding and    WORDLESSLY    placing yourself down in a patch of grass without doing much else.    you think you fell asleep,  your head    SLIGHTLY    spinning while you adjust back to the setting sun.    but just before you can properly sit up,  there is something placed on you.    

it is only then that you really take in how close she is.    how odd she must have felt to see you here even when you two did not    COORDINATE     on meeting here     ———     but she somehow managed to find the time to craft this for you.    you almost gape in disbelief,  your mind painting an image that feels almost painful.    noelle,  in her younger form,  that same bright gleam in her eyes,  and this current    VERSION    of her almost turning into an amalgamation before you very eyes.    it feels cruel even when it isn't.   

cautiously,  you touch the crown.    a golden petal falls on your lap and your gaze    UNCONSCIOUSLY    follows the movement before it trails back to her face.    "  you. . .   you're still here  ?  "     something akin to disbelief but you aren't any less thankful.    a small smile graces your face,  your hands gently caressing what she had made.

"  stay here,  i'll make one for you too.  "     a brief    PAUSE    as you reach for some of the flowers that surround you.    "  do you still like the ones made from daisies  ?  "

    *     YOU  HAVE  KNOWN  NOELLE  FOR  AS  LONG  AS  YOU  CAN  REMEMBER.     despite the tricks that you have done to her just to get a reaction,  noelle was once your closest friend.    you two stuck to each other's side,  sharing secrets and exchanging     KNOWING     glances when you were younger that nobody else caught up on except for you two.    you were inseparable,  existing as a duo that could hardly be seen apart unless absolutely necessary.     you remember her     BEST,     how she wears her heart on her sleeve,  how her fur rises whenever she's spooked,  how shaky her voice gets when she is     ATTEMPTING     to stay strong even when she wants to waver,  and how she glows with every moment that you spend together with everybody.

so what changed  ?      why is it now that you find yourself     FIDGETING    awkwardly  ?      your brows knitted together while you try to make sense of your incohesive writing.     you know that she can read you.     she knows you best.     she knows your     TELLS,     something that you always thought you were smart with stowing away until she points out your secrets as if you are an open book.      her voice used to be a     SAFE     haven.    it still is.     yet this gap between you two always made you scared of reaching over.     wouldn't it be strange if you suddenly closed this distance when you two have drifted   ?      you do not even know if she wants you to go back to being a part of her life just as you want her to be a part of yours.

"  uh,  yeah.  "     you in your awkward,  mumbly self.    noelle in her caring and cautious state.    you always wondered deep down how you two     ENDED     up together as kids.    but your mischief then was far worse than it is presently.     not you do not even know if the tricks that you can play will ever     TRANSLATE    the same.   

you should curb it all in.     "  just having a bit of trouble with this,  i guess.  "     it brings you back to    REALITY,      how you took her up on her offer to help you study.     you decided faster than your soul ever did.    somehow,  it feels like you caused more    PROBLEMS     for yourself by doing this than it ever did.

"  this,  uh,  continental drift theory is a little confusing.     how did they even come up with the idea that the    CONTINENT     was all bunched together into one before it all got torn apart    &    drifted away  ?  "      you sound stupid.    though in some way,  you     ARE.     you do nothing but sleep in class lately after all.    you try to ignore the ache in your chest,  how it nags at you.    this lesson seems cheap so you cough,  sharply closing the textbook.

"  nevermind that,  actually.  "     you should go.   now.

kris always felt weird about sleeping. it is not something that they dislike but it is not anything that comes to them peacefully. they struggle with chronic insomnia, often tossing and turning in the middle of the night without being able to attain proper rest that it reflects during the next day. they have recurring nightmares and dreams of everything yet nothing at the time. they wake up overstimulated sometimes or go through a form of paralysis before being awoken by their own mom.

they can mainly refresh themselves by taking a nap. while it is unhealthy to regain energy like that, it is the only way that kris can sleep without experiencing grave nightmares as the rest is too short for anything to really manifest.

on a kinder note, they usually sleep better when huddled up under some heavy blankets and comforters. their body temperature has been odd as of late so being able to nestle along something that is otherwise reminiscent of warmth from being huddled up with family feels nice to them.

they also seem to sleep best whenever they are next to someone that they are profoundly fond of. namely: their brother, the holiday sisters, their parents, and susie.

Your fingers dance gently on her cheeks, almost as if they are touching something fragile, something that you can break with the simplest of pressure.

You weren’t sure how you two got to this quiet moment, a moment of peace and quiet, a moment that reflects nothing more but the light between the both of you. Your fingers crease her face, ensuring that she feels protected and cared for. Something so vulnerable that you aren’t sure you can always offer her, yet here you are offering this moment of gentleness.

And that’s when it happens, when you have sprained your trap. Quickly, your fingers pinch down on her cheeks and a devious grin has grown on your face. You weren’t here for this soft moment, you weren’t here for a gentle nothingness…No you were here to cause problems when no one was around to scold you!

So you did! And you started to pull on her cheeks repeatedly, however not strong enough to actually hurt her but that isn’t something you would mention…You were okay with her thinking you didn’t have a lot of strength from time to time.