#snake sec

I just came back from the south from a failed project.

I was planning on working with the local communities to host a series of activities that will ultimately result in a Community Plan and if possible we could initiate the plan in action right there (something small and in-community). The thing is, they didn't want it and my contacts refused to help me, since they were preoccupied themselves.

So I retreated, after only 2 days. From the initial plan to stay for 17 days.

It wasn't that I didn't try, no. Quite the contrary, I tried, very hard. I sought out the villagers on my first day in order to assess the situation (and probe them about activities), I was met with groans. Which I totally understood, I mean ... who would want strangers in the village and announcing they want to do activities again. So I retreated to my base, disheartened. The next day, I went to my cold contact, he is a very influential member of the community.

Turns out, he was working with another researcher, and she is a real big shot. 20+ years of specialized experience in this particular Ethnic group's issues. A lot of policies proposed and accepted. Vast amount of connections and also a leading figure in ethnic rights and traditional development in my country. I was intrigued and I probed her, if I could join her, 'I'd love to help in anyway I can'. But of course, nothing. Then my old contact said he couldn't help because he had too many works on his hands. Which was truthful.

So I immediately booked a flight back home, luckily it wasn't too expensive.

I knew that I could potentially convinced people to work with me, playing into their wants and needs. It wouldn't be hard to get them to join me, but ... for what? Even if my aim was to help better the community and partially undo the damage done to them by the government. What would I do if they refuse? Even if I convinced them to work with me, who would oversee our community plan? It'd undeniably be forgotten. Like all others development researches.

The people there didn't want to do it themselves, but they'd welcome the development if it made their life easier and someone provide them with ways and resources to make it happen but don't disrupting their established life. They just want to live their life, quietly and peacefully. Change is good, if it is sensitive to the established tradition and livelihoods. You can't expect people to change their entire schedules and way of life, even if it is objectively better. We have to be sensitive to the sentiment too. Which is something I totally understand and I have to admit, I really didn't have the power and resources to provide them with suitable and engaging way to initiate a reform. So, the only logical choice is to retreat and ... well, move on to other village and people who might need my service.

Anyway, staying there was still quite fun. I wasn't the most family-loving guy in existence, given how fragmentary my family is and how we seem to be at each other's throats all the time, but I knew that rural people in my country value kinship and familial connection strongly and somehow, I did morph myself into a 'family loving and dutiful young man'. It wasn't even conscious process, I just did it and it was far from taxing. It was fun and playful and energized me so much! I wasn't faking too, because, well, I do love my family, I just put my life and goals before them. But how I pulled it out and morphed instantly was ... intriguing? I was doubting myself if I was actually Bird in disguise or not, but seeing that, well, I am Snake through and through.

It was a great experience. Even if it was far from optimal, since I had to remake my entire project, which is also a thesis and I have only 3 months left. But at least I learned the flaws of my initial method (due to Covid, I couldn't go to the village and survey, so I skipped the process and hope for the best). Now, I will hold off all planning and speculation, including topic and what framework to use. I'll go to my new target village and assess them thoroughly first before planning anything at all.

But since my topic is still 'environment management for community empowerment' I don't think I will have to change my entire frameworks. Which is nice. And of course, most important of all, how to actually deal with villagers and community politics. Before, I had no experience at all, so I didn't know how to adequately respond, but now I know, and I'll use this knowledge to my advantage. (And of course, bribery and sweettalking never hurt ;)

Another thing I learned, which I realized now that it is very important, is that while we, Lion primary, might believe what we are going to do is the right thing (such as me going with intention to help and assist the community), sometimes it is not and it is wise to listen to what people want and take their inputs into consideration as well as practical applications of your ideals. And the fact that everything takes time and resources to pull off.

However, resources and time are natural part of everything and we all know that, to some extent, the most important lesson I learned is the fact that sometimes we run the risk of forgetting that there are more than just us and our gut reactions. It doesn't do to shove your values and projects down people's throats, even if it is the right thing. It is admirable that many of us have strong moral stance and drive to change this world for the better. However, to make our change last, we must work with other people. People with vastly different morals, mindset and backgrounds than our own. So it is optimal that we need to learn to listen and incorporate their experience, feelings and opinions into our judgment and worldview. We can't ever be as morally analytical as Birds, but our gut instinct can also be directed toward empathy and compassion, both of which necessary for the lasting legacy of our accomplishment.

For me, I think the difference is in the focus. For me, as a Snake Secondary, my feelings and my performance are often at arms length to each other. My performance is genuine, but on the inside I don't always feel it. It's almost like putting on a mask or acting in a play. You know it's a performance, but you pour in your heart and feelings. But, for my Badger friends, they don't manipulate their masks the same way. They just adapt fully to the community. It feels to me (outside observer) as if they are just 'inherently fair' and 'vigilant'.

For example, me as Snake secondary might appeal to people by speaking their language, but I know at the back of my mind I'm only putting on masks and I can take it off at moment's notice. (Sometimes I deal with hard customers with smiles and humble attitude only to turn back to my usual apathetic face the moment they turn away). It's like I put down my mask and enjoy my neutral state. My Badger friend couldn't do this. For them, it's full switch on, similar to Lion.

Another point worth mentioning is that Badger is built secondary while Snake is improvisational. For Badger, it is about safety within the system of networks or reliability while for Snake, it's about staying light on your feet to adapt to whatever and whoever comes our way. For Snake, like me, I don't care much about building a community of support or system that will support me. Because even without them, I am confident I'll find some loophole I can exploit and survive. My Badger friend loves building something they can rely upon, be it learning meticulously or building a community of friends. That's a bit of difference. Badgers are a lot more consistent than Snake as well, to outsiders, Snakes usually have more shiftiness and inconsistency that might trip people off (even if we are actually consistent).

I love healthy Badger. They are like the most reliable person I'll ever find anywhere.