#smol note

| deadpan

| depressed?

| no capitals

| no apostrophes

| lots of |s

| writing is very dead and doesnt really use strong story qualia, appeals to emotions besides {depressed, centeredness, unpointed}

|| spent a while not doing stories or interacting with people with emotions and stuff! like anecdotes i loge anecdotes but a lot of the time the motives behind them are sort of painful and didnt like things they were optimizing for

|| so i stopped telling stories for a bit

|| but i think i can do emotional expression and being one pointed and directed and telling stories without feeling v unepistemic and misaligned with what i want

|| it is probably one of these things where my skill at [recognizing unepistemic and optimizing for thing b when ostensibly optimizing for thing a] outpaced my skill at [being able to correct for these errors]

|| i expect this model is entangled with whats happening; i anticipate that my ability to have more subtle deviation from what id want has outpaced my ability to detect this deviation

|| next time my ability to detect deviation outpaces my ability to consistently correct the deviations, i think it would be better to mostly work through the pain instead of ceasing all things that are kind of bad

|| thats generally the best path i think