“Well, if that’s all you have to stay I could have stayed at home,” the creature snarled. “I’m extremely busy at the moment, after all.”

“Sorry,” Emma said. “It’s just...I’ve never...you...you’re not usually…”

“Not usually what?”

“Sparkly.”

The creature’s eyes narrowed. “What are you talking about? Have we met before?”

“Yes. I mean, no. Not...not yet.”

“Not yet?”

“I’m...I mean we’re …”

The creature turned to look at Hamish and gave an almost comical start. “You...who are you ?”

“I’m…” But Hamish was instantly silenced by a crushing pressure around his throat. His feet lifted off the ground and he gasped for air, clawing at invisible hands. His vision was darkening around the edges and he could hear Emma’s shouts followed by a terrible shrill laugh.

“I said stop! ” A flash of white light filled the clearing and Hamish dropped to the ground, coughing and spluttering. When he looked up, he saw that the glittering creature was staring dumbfounded at Emma, his hand still outstretched and his eyes glinting with the tiniest spark of fear.

“Listen.” Emma took a deep breath. “We’re from the future. I called on you because we need to get back to our time and you’re the only person I’ve ever met who might be able to help us.”

“ If we’ve met,” Rumplestiltskin snarled, “you must know that I’m not easily fooled, dearie.”

“I do know,” she said. “You fought in the Ogre Wars, and you took the Dark Curse to save your son. You lost him to the land without magic, and you’ve spent years trying to get him back. In about a year the Evil Queen is going to cast the Dark Curse, which will take everyone in this world there, and Snow White and Prince Charming will have a child that will break the curse.”

“You’re a Seer,” Rumplestiltskin said harshly.

“No. I’m Emma Swan, the daughter of Snow White and Prince Charming.” She paused and took another long, deep breath. “I’m the Savior. And I need to get back home.”

There was a long silence.

“Well, even if all that were true,” Rumplestiltskin said shakily, “I don’t see why I should help you. If you’re here, the curse has broken, and you’ve served your function. I see no reason to…”

“You’re not an idiot,” Emma snapped. “I can’t stay here. If I do, I could disrupt things. You know the tiniest change could ruin everything, and if it does...you might never see your son again.”

Hamish knew she had the old sorcerer’s attention now. “I don’t have to help you to ensure nothing changes,” Rumplestiltskin growled. “I could just kill you here and now.”

“You could,” Emma agreed. “But how do you know I won’t be useful in the future?” She held up her hands, which were still faintly glowing with white light. “True Love is powerful magic, after all.”

Something hungry glowed in Rumplestiltskin’s eyes, and Hamish shifted his feet.

“How about a deal?” Emma said. Hamish felt the hair on his arms stand on end. “If you help us figure out a way back to our time, I’ll tell you what happens to your son.”

“And if I decide to kill you anyway?” Rumplestiltskin snarled.

“That’ll be your choice,” Emma shrugged. “But I’m guessing you won’t want to. Do we have a deal?”

“Not so fast! What about this... thing ?” Rumplestiltskin pointed one gnarled finger at Hamish, and Hamish grit his teeth.

“We’re a package deal.”

“Oh, your paramour is he?”

“Oh, gross,” Emma grimaced. Hamish tried not to look insulted, but she sent him an apologetic glance anyway. “Sorry, just...no. He’s a friend of mine, and I kind of got him into this mess, so...now I have to get him out.”

Rumplestiltskin stepped up close to Hamish, and Hamish stared him down, glad he’d already faced down so many bizarre things today. Or...whenever.

“What are you?” the sorcerer snarled.

“A police constable,” Hamish replied, his voice level.

“A what?”

“A sheriff,” Emma interrupted. “Where he’s from, they’re called constables.”

Rumplestiltskin held up one hand to silence her and stepped even closer so that his and Hamish’s noses were almost touching. “If this is some sort of fairy trick,” he hissed, “I will kill you so painfully that your ancestors will feel it.”

Hamish felt his temper rise. “Back off, ye boggin…”

“Hamish!” Emma said.

Rumpletilskin backed away, his teeth bared in an ugly sneer. “Suppose we finish this conversation in private,” he said, raising one hand. There was a swirl of purple smoke, and then everything went dark.

--------------

Hamish stumbled as his feet hit hard stone, and his head spun. Next to him Emma looked very pale, but otherwise in one piece. Whatever magic Rumplestiltskin had used to transport them, Hamish didn’t like it. The Dark One watched them, appearing to delight in their discomfort, and then turned and strode briskly through a set of large wooden doors. Emma and Hamish stood still for a moment, taking in the massive stone entryway and imposing statues in the corners.

“Come along, dearies, we haven’t got all day!” Rumplestiltskin called, and they hurried after him.

The room he’d led them to was long and wide, with a massive table in the center and, at one end, glass cases displaying hundreds of...well, Hamish wasn’t sure what they were, obviously. Knick-knacks of some kind. About the room stood stone pedestals, each holding an artifact, and off to one side was a dais on which stood a spinning wheel. On glancing around, Hamish noticed what looked like golden fleece in one corner, a bejeweled grail in another, and at the far end of the room a pair of hideous wooden puppets. The puppets looked familiar, and he realized he’d seen them in Gold’s shop. He felt lightheaded again, and wished there was more than one chair in the room.

“Now then,” Rumplestilskin said, clapping his hands before him and turning to face them. “Let’s hear your tale.”

“That wasn’t the deal,” Emma said. “You have to help us figure out how to get back first.”

“Well, I can’t very well do that if I don’t know how you came to be here, can I?” he pointed out.

“It was a time travel spell,” Hamish said, and the creature glared at him.

“That’s ridiculous,” he spat. “Her Highness here might have powerful magic, but she’s clearly not trained well enough to work that sort of spell. No one’s ever done such a thing before.”

“I didn’t cast the spell,” Emma said. “We just got...sucked into it.”

“Who did cast it? Assuming I believe you, of course.”

“I don’t know if you’ve met her yet,” Emma said thoughtfully, “but her name is Zelena.”

Rumplestiltskin’s face turned a strange shade of pale green. “Ah. Zelena. She’s...returned from Oz, has she?”

“You know her?”

“Ah…”

“Oh! Rumplestiltskin! You’re back!”

All three of them turned at the sound of this new voice, and Hamish felt his heart sink to his shoes. Belle stood in the entryway of the great hall, her beautiful auburn hair cascading in ringlets down her back, her blue eyes bright with curiosity. Next to him he felt the sorcerer shift his weight and clear his throat, but he couldn’t spare a thought for anyone but Belle.

“I’m sorry,” she said, “I didn’t know you had...guests.”

“Belle!” Emma said, sounding awed.

Confusion creased Belle’s forehead and she came a little farther into the room. “I’m sorry, do we know each other?”

“Oh, sorry, no.” Emma floundered a little. “Mister...Rumple...the Dark One told us about you.”

“Did he?” Belle turned a flirtatious smirk on Rumplestiltskin, and Hamish turned in time to see the sorcerer flush dark green and take a hasty step back.

“No,” he snapped. “Go away and read a book, or whatever it is you do.”

“You could ask nicely.”

“I could also turn you into a toad!”

Rolling her eyes, Belle gave her master another saucy smile before flouncing away. Rumplestiltskin muttered something under his breath about disrespectful little maids, but Hamish wasn’t paying full attention. He had just realized that he’d seen that smirk and heard that tone of voice before - those were signs of Belle’s interest, and he knew because he’d been on the receiving end of both multiple times. For a moment he felt a sort of kinship with Rumplestiltskin, who was clearly a bit unnerved by the exchange and was trying to look unconcerned. Being the object of Belle’s affections, though wonderful, was also overwhelming.

“Okay...so...anyway…” Emma sounded like she was trying not to laugh. “You know Zelena?”

“Zelena. Yes. Illegitimate daughter of Princess Cora, and erstwhile Western Witch of Oz. I don’t suppose she...ah...came through with you?” His eyes darted about the room and Hamish realized with some surprise that he looked nervous.

“No. She’s dead.”

“Ah.” Rumplestiltskin’s shoulders relaxed. “A shame, really. Such tremendous talent.”

“Too bad she was a total nutter,” Hamish said dryly.

“Yes, well, that family does seem to have a certain... flair for the dramatic.”

Emma snorted. “Probably why you guys got along so well.”

“Did she select this time period?” Rumplestiltskin pretended not to hear her.

“I don’t think so. From what I heard, she wanted to find her mother and...I don’t know...convince her to keep her? I couldn’t quite work it out.”

“Very likely. Well, you’re in luck. The mechanics of the spell may have been hers, but the actual casting was yours.” Rumplestiltskin pointed a gnarled finger at Emma. “If she did not choose this time period, you must have, which means you can cast the counterspell.”

“Great,” Emma sighed. “So what do we need? Four glowing mushrooms and a hair from a giant’s ass?”

“No, no, nothing so grotesque,” Rumplestiltskin said. He flourished one hand and a thin wand appeared in his grip. “This wand, should you wield it properly, will detect the spell you used and reverse it, sending you back to your time.”

“Seriously?” Emma crossed her arms. “It’s that easy?”

“Oh, yes.” Rumplestilskin twirled the wand slowly in his fingers. “However, it is now your turn to uphold our deal. Tell me how to find my son. And be warned,” he said, holding up one finger, “that there are penalties for lying to the Dark One, Savior or no.”

“After the curse breaks, you have to find a way to cross the town line,” Emma says. “But once you do, we go together. Finding people is...kind of my thing. We find him in a city. He comes back with us.”

Rumplestiltskin was hanging on her words as if they were water and he was a parched man. “And...we are...reconciled?”

Emma paused. “Uh…”

“Out with it dearie!”

“He...he forgives you,” Emma said. “He loves you.”

Rumplestiltskin looked slightly manic. “And we are together?”

“I…”

“You will tell me or I will rip your heart out!” snarled the sorcerer. Hamish stepped forward, his own heart in his throat.

“You don’t want to do that,” he said hoarsely. “She’s more than Snow White’s daughter. She’s the mother of your grandson. Kill her and your son will never forgive you, no matter what happens after the curse breaks.”

“My... grandson ?”

“Henry,” Emma said. “He has his father’s eyes.”

As Rumplestiltskin processed this information, Hamish thought he could see a shift in the sorcerer’s face - something more human, less demonic shining out of his eyes, and he thought of Henry, who wished he could have known his grandfather better.

“Well,” Rumplestiltskin said at last. “That is a revelation.”

“So...you’ll send us back?”

“No, you will.” Rumplestiltskin handed her the wand, stepped back, and spread his hands wide. Emma looked from him to the wand and then squared her shoulders and raised the wand in the air.