#slipshit

Parents pay a lot to send their kids there, because they feel it’s a safe way for their kids to do this thing. It’s a region that looks like a Pokemon Journey, but everything is carefully managed. The Pokemon you faint in the wild without catching are secretly taken to a Pokemon Center before being returned to the wild, and wild Pokemon in general have been deliberately domesticated so as to serve no real threat. The money you earn from “random trainers” came straight from parents like yours. The Gym Leaders are all obsessed with the Yelp-style review system; they want high reviews, so they’re better at battling in such a way that kids feel like they defeated a powerful battler then in presenting an actual challenge and helping the kids grow (in reality, one almost never loses to the Gym leaders). You beat the Elite Four and the Champion because of course you do, and you head home with a nice photo and a decent trophy. There’s even an Evil Team with Evil Plans to be stopped by Trainers who turn them over to the police - who promptly put them up in a comfy “jail” before letting them out.

And of course the concept of microtransactions is everywhere. You can call to just travel through a route, or at least have them pitch a tent and drop off a hot meal wherever you are. PokeMarts and PokeCenters and Ride Pokemon are essentially mobile, if you’re willing to pay for the service. You can buy Pokemon and TMs easy, and the region’s version of Poke Pelago is explicitly a Pay-For-Power area.

and for some reason, was compelled to zoom into their feet. And I'm like okay, trainers trainers boots trainers-

BUT THEN, i see:

and I'm like [vine voice] WHAT ARE THOOOOOOOSE??? Mfer really be out here in his works in a call centre got court for a traffic ticket in the morning only "smart" footwear he owns scuffed ass SHOES. SHOES. THE LEAST METAL FOOTWEAR