#slenderkitchen

I haven't been on a ‘diet’ in sometime now.  I am tired of deprivation and constantly chasing an always moving target.  Yet, not being on a plan has led me to some weight gain that I am no longer able to ignore.  

February 4, Saturday afternoon-I am headed to the store to make sure i”m equipped for my sequel journey on the Whole 30.  “I’ll start tomorrow!!”  I said self righteously.  It’s been years.  I thought i would reread the rules as a reminder.  I’m also secretly planning  to get some chocolate, and even contemplating pushing my start date to Monday.  But as i’m reading I find this: 

Phooey.  Okay, I’m in.  My official start time is on a Saturday afternoon. 

Day 2- Sunday.  I’m drinking black coffee.  This is a huge sacrifice for me because it required me to give up heavy cream.  I tried canned coconut milk.   I did not enjoy it. Also I got on the scale.  I am heavier than I have been in years.  Usually at this point in a conversation people will say, “you don’t need to lose weight.”   I know.....I like to believe when you say that you mean that I’m fine the way I am.  I am not in danger of anorexia!   I like food too much for that.  So why am I dialing in?  My clothes aren’t fitting comfortably and my back hurts (how convenient for me, when i gain weight it goes straight to my tummy and causes back issues).

Day 3-I feel like an official adult when i drink black coffee.  I had a wee bit of a headache most of the day.  

Day 4-Feb. 7 Tuesday-I’m still kinda excited about this.  I have cooked something everyday.  I feel better.  I had a grand workout.  In the evening I REALLY wanted a starchy carb.  I think it’s more of a comfort thing than actual hunger.  

Day 5/6-Wednesday, Thursday kinda blended together.  I can honestly say that this go round has been easier.  I am reading It Starts with Food as I go along and I’m realizing somethings:  I am kinda making it my own in so many ways.  I’m not exactly following it to the letter.  I’m not sure that’s a good thing.

Day 6-Friday.  This reading thing is exposing some weak areas.  1-I never ‘just’ eat.  I eat while emptying the dishwasher, while on my laptop/phone/social media.  I eat in the car.  I eat with a book.  The only time I don’t eat with distractors is when we eat at the table together.  

Day 7-Saturday.  A week!  It’s already been a week.  Yesterday I was asked when it ended.  I have no idea.  Nor do I want to start thinking about what i ‘can’ have when it’s over.  I ate breakfast this morning in the quiet at the table all by myself within an hour of waking.   Hello 6 a.m.!  These are two things that I need to try and incorporate.  Neither one was near as hard to do as I thought it might be.  

We also had plans to go out for the evening.  I was weirded out by the change of schedule/routine.  It’s always easiest to eat at home.  Not realistic but easier. I did fine, I drank tons of water.  I didn’t eat a thing that was off program, but when we got home I scarfed a LOT of little things: nuts, unsweet almond butter, a few bites of turkey.  As I kept grabbing stuff I realized that THIS may be why it’s a good idea to SIT down to eat and enjoy the meal.....so that I have time to actually taste it and consider whether or not I’m full.  

Day 8-Sunday

I tried it again....eating within an hour of waking, legit sit down eating.  It’s not bad, i actually like it.  But i wonder how I’m gonna pull that off when it’s a workday, when i wake at 4 and am at work by 5.  

Day 10-I’m definitely cooking again.  I enjoy eating fish, but for some reason I don’t enjoy cooking it.  This was okay.  I enjoy eating bok choy.  This had such potential.  I’m gonna give myself an A for trying something new.  It’s definitely one of those meals that gets better as it sits.  (http://garlicmysoul.com/blog/baby-bok-choy-shrimp-cashew-stir-fry/)

Day 13-I’m getting further and further between posts.  I don’t feel as if it’s particularly hard.  I see some Non Scale Victories!   (What are those? More later!)

Day 14-I love a routine.    I eat veggies at every meal.   I also have a salad daily...typicall for ‘lunch.’  I told you i was trying to eat more fish.  I never tire of salmon.  And I rarely tire of salads.  And rainbow plate foods always photograph well.  

Day 17-Our bible study group was in charge of providing food this week.  I wanted to try a casserole type dish.  There’s I hardly ever and thing that is compliant to eat at church more than fruit.  I made this:  http://www.slenderkitchen.com/recipe/sausage-and-butternut-squash-breakfast-casserole

Except i used whole eggs and regular sausage.  I was slicing it in the church kitchen when a young lady came browsing the food.  Our leader teased her that there was nothing there for her to eat.   I’m nosy, i asked why.  She said she was on whole 30.  !!!!! i was delighted to tell her that my dish was whole 30 compliant. Later I was asked if it had gluten.  Yeah!   My dish helped two people eat and accomodate their dietary needs.  It was quite yummy, too.  They ate it all.  I remade it for the fam the next week.  

Day 18-clothes are fitting better!   I am getting to where if i eat while running around it doesn’t feel right.   I rather ENJOY sitting down to a meal.  It seems to satisfy more...and i’d swear that it helps me to stay full longer.

Day 20-we had friends over for dinner.  There were chips and salsa. I was a wee sad I didn’t have any.  BUT when i woke up the next day I was thrilled I held strong.  I don’t ‘miss’ many things, but I miss the convenience of things.  

Day 21- I haven’t had too many difficulties.  I have tried a variety of ways to eat my first meal.  None are terribly successful.  On work days my options are:  wake at 4, pack a hot meal and eat at my desk around 5.  OR  cook something and eat it hot at the house around 4:20......a.m.  I’m rarely hungry at that time of day.  And if i am?  It doesn’t take much to fill me up.  I can honestly say I don’t have an appetite that early.  

I workout around 7 and when i finished i am FAMISHED.  I plan to try something new tomorrow....an Rx Bar for my first ‘meal.’  *am i breaking the whole 30 rules by eating a bar?  

Day 22- I am up and cooking cooking cooking.  I remade that butternut squash casserole *see day 17.  I also attempted to copy a recipe I had in Austin last weekend.   We ate at Picnik.  I had their harvest hash.  

It was UNBELIEVEABLE.   So I attempted my own.  

Mine had 2 diced and baked sweet potatoes, 2 bags of pre shredded brussel sprouts roasted in the oven, 2 lbs. of Green’s breakfast sausage, fresh sage (don’t tell Damon!  He hates sage!), 2 diced and baked green apples, a handful of toasted pecans and a container of diced butternut squash (that i roasted in the oven).   IT WAS FABULOUS!  

I need to make sure the boy doesn’t eat it without eggs so it will last longer. 

OH!  and I’m learning to eat runny eggs!  Top this with runny eggs and let them goo all over!!

days 23-25-I have a workday breakfast routine.  Wake at 4, eat an Rx bar, drink coffee.  Work by 4:40, workout at 7.  EAT a legit whole meal with veggies, protein, a carb and fat.  

day 26-30 Flew by.  (that’s good news, right?) I can’t say that any thing was hard.  The weekends tend to be ‘hardER’.....less structure to my days.  But I got through them.  I have also started reading/prepping for the Reintroduction phase.   (I’m reading Food Freedom Forever by Melissa Joulwan, think of it as the sequel to Whole 30).   I am very much looking forward to NOT being on a diet, to listening to my body signals for both rest and hunger.  I am convinced that it can be done.   I have to believe that.    

I’m not exactly pleased with how this post ends...it feels unfinished...but then: I’m learning that some things don’t have an end.  It’s just moving from one phase to another.   That’s progress, right?.....diets end...Lifestyles don’t.