#sleepstxtic rambles

Here are the Indian national cricket team’s international stats

World Test Championship

2021 - Runners Up

2023 - Runners Up

ODI World Cup

2015 - Semi-Finalists

2019 - Semi-Finalists

2023 - Runners Up

T20 World Cup

2014 - Runners Up

2016 - Semi-Finalists

2022 - Semi-Finalists

Champions Trophy

2017 - Runners Up

Now, I understand the points made about Choice of Pitch and Crowd Support. I do believe the outcome would’ve been different if we’d played anywhere except Ahmedabad. And as hosts, we’ve got to give our players every advantage, including a pitch that tilts in their favour.* BUT what about all the tournaments we didn’t host? We’ve consistently made the semis and finals of almost every single major international trophy in the past decade. We’re practically giants. We don’t need a pitch advantage to win a match - we’ve demonstrated that we can get the job done and we can do it anywhere, any pitch, any country. So why can’t we win when it matters most?

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: cricket is just as much as a mental game as any other sport. We need to take note of this pattern and do something to address it. I’m not saying a sports psychologist will solve all our problems but it’s certainly a start. The minute Travis Head began to hit a few boundaries, shoulders began to droop. There were times when the fielding was so lax it felt like they couldn’t be bothered to do it faster because “eh, it’s just a single run.” Australia was on fire today. Not a single mistake, not a single toe out of line. They were in the zone, serious from the get go - and they got the job done. I have never seen that kind of coordination and perfection from our Indian team. We’re always wobbly in places, and then are stabilised and carried through by the stellar performance of a few players (who vary from match to match). We can talk about Batting Depth and Hardik’s absence from the team etc etc but the fact of the matter is we are capable enough to win on any pitch, in any conditions, as we’ve shown before, time and time again. But not if it’s a final. And I just think that’s a problem worth addressing with a solution that goes beyond “shiny new pitch, better gyms, and new talent.” 

Thank you so much!! I am so excited too! There is so much I want to say but I will save it for the fic itself. But in the meantime, thank you so much for the questions!! ❤️❤️

🌈 is there a fic that you worked *really fucking hard on* that no one would ever know? maybe a scene/theme you struggled with?

I'm so glad you asked this because yes, there is! And in fact, I am finally getting done with it in time for @harrypocter's festival of colours fest! So I can't reveal too much about what it is, BUT, the thing I struggled with the most is getting the representation right.

I started this fic sometime last year as one of the first ever things I wrote, but discontinued it because it was getting too big of a project. Not length-wise, I just felt out of my depth. It's a story set in India, and the thing about this country is that it isn't homogenous. It's diverse, and everyone belongs to different communities/castes. And some communities have, historically, oppressed other communities, the socio-economic effects of which are still extremely prevalent today. So when you're attempting to tell stories that come from outside your community, there is an obligation to get it right - especially when the power dynamics of caste come into play.

The story isn't my story, it's an adaptation and I will be crediting the original one, but I've been taking a lot of pains to ensure that I get it right. I may make mistakes (although I sincerely hope I have not) and I'd also like to disclaimer this by saying the research that has to be put in when taking from stories outside one's community, and crediting the community for it, is the bare minimum that everyone should do. (Along with, of course, not profiting off of it - hello elephant whisperers). So yes!! That is something that I'd been struggling with, and I thought no one would get to see it, but now they are, and I'm really excited about it <3

🎀give yourself a compliment about your own writing

This is so sweet gahhh thank you!! One thing I really enjoy about writing is the ideation that comes before it. I've found that I'm very quick to identify stories. I feel like the world is full of stories - in academia, in sports, in activism, in law etc etc etc. I have the "oh this would make a great story" thought so many times a day (hence my ever-growing pile of plunnies) and I love that that is something I can do!

🧿what steps do you take to not take things personally if a fic doesn't do well, or if your writing/posting/sharing experience isn't going how you'd like it to?

This is a really interesting question! I used to write with the objective of reaching as many people and getting as much feedback as possible. That has faded over time, which is why I'm branching out more into gen fic and rarepairs and things like that. But also! I cannot deny that I enjoy engagement and all the wonderfully kind comments people leave me. They make my day! And I'm privileged enough that almost all my fics have done reasonably well in terms of the sharing experience.

But even if a fic doesn't do well, it's balanced out by the feedback I get from all my wonderful betas. Particularly you and @nanneramma!! And your feedback is especially special to me because of how much I respect and admire and love both you and your writing! That kind of gives me the satisfaction of having written something good, even if it doesn't do "well" as such. I also reread my work a lot, and if I come across a particular line or phrase that I really like, that definitely boosts my confidence.

I don't really have a set of rules or habits that I fall back on when a fic doesn't do well. I kind of just take it in stride and focus on the next one? The best part of writing is writing, and soon, I'm so immersed in writing the next fic and enjoying the process that I forget to feel bad about the previous one not doing too well.

This is a wonderful community and people are always cheering on other people and I always feel like there's so much love to go around! So that's mostly how I deal with it all.

As a POC, there is something deeply satisfying about reading a narrative and being able to resonate with it. Going, “Oh, I know this custom, I know that feeling. You are my people and I feel your struggle, your shame, your joy, your suffering”. Which is also why I think people who do not belong to the same demographic struggle so hard to connect with our literature, and even like it, let alone appreciate it. For eg. in AFB, why is it such a big deal that the protagonist stops using separate teacups for herself and her employees? How big of an insult is it to hire musicians for your own wedding after being prohibited from doing so by your upper-caste neighbours in the village? We know, and that is what makes these literary moments so powerful. Which is sometimes lost on others: “So she switched from the red cups to the pink ones. So he hired a bunch of musicians from out of town. So?”

These are strange, lived experiences that we as POC understand implicitly which outsiders do not - and then of course, it becomes more complicated than that when you take caste and class and religion and gender into the mix, which I am not denying. Separate utensils for house help and household members is a prevalent (and abominable) practice in many South Asian communities even today. The fear and gravity of a caste insult is an immediately understandable concept to any Indian. These are important moments in the plot, they carry weight, they mean something, and if anyone else is attempting to read such a story, you could at least attempt to understand it and contextualise it before passing judgment (or reserve judgment). Just as we have read and understood your literature for years: Shakespeare and Keats and Byron and Shelley and whoever else has made it onto the ‘classics’ list. No one is obligated to read or like or appreciate our literature, but if you do, at least do so with an open mind. And google.