#sleep rants

I think that Callie and AJ just broke up. I don’t actually even think I’m mad… for as much as they are a power couple AJ is right, a relationship where everything is hard and you are always fighting and lying and keeping secrets isn’t a safe healthy relationship.. and for as much as Callie is trying i dont think AJ actually is. I think he walked into this thinking “ok she’s a little complicated but I’ll deal” and now with her possibly going to jail and STILL trying to solve the murder even though it’s the reason she’s possibly going…. AJ is pulling away. The one time they tried to talk about it AJ yelled at her.. for as much as I want them together. I think they may not make it and I’m not all that sad.. the chick AJ kissed is more him, and Callies friend, while he’s trans and that may complicate things a bit, he seems very far in transition so I think it may actually be ok. And God I want them together. They talk about everything and anything he’ll when Callie built the Solitary Cell he was the first one she told about it. He was the one she asked for help. He was the one that walked into it and looked at her files plastered on the wall, all the terrible things people said about her both truth and not. The one who listened to the drills on the speaker, exact replicas of what Callie heard as the opening to when she went to juvie both times. The same things the guards yelled at her, and he understood, he talked to her about it. Asked her how he could help.. AJ just walked in once and basically said that’s neat babe. As a fellow foster kid, fuck as a kid who’s brother is sitting in jail though for a just reason this time, both AJ and Ty have seen the injustice in the world. They are foster kids of color. He of all people should have been more understanding than a kid who grew up with parents and wasn’t dealing with half the shit Callie, Jude, Ty,and AJ dealt with. But he wasnt. And I honestly think their split may really be the best… as long as Callie copes and fights through the urge to give up… but she has Jude. He still needs her. Fuck he needs her now more than ever. So I think she will be ok…

A random ass influenza ruined my whole career

Lowkey kinda proud of myself. 3k words in a week, 2 fics released. That's pretty good imo

oh my fucking god i might be less negative towards sleeping if it was less negative towards ME

I don’t have insomnia. I have, at times, but not for a couple of years. I just stay up late because I resent to the core every minute I have to spend asleep. My friend today said I need a bedtime ritual. I said I have one; basically it goes, climb resentfully into bed and spit venom at the universe for forcing me to do something so pointless with hours of my day, and then fall asleep. It’s such a dumb system.

Oh, my god, I know I say this all the time but I fucking hate that sleep is a thing, I hate that it’s a thing I have to do, and I hate that it takes so much time. And sometime I’m gonna write a whole proper article about how much I hate it and make everyone understand. But when I do, don’t read it, okay? Because it will probably make you not sleep.

I hate sleeping so much but I especially hate going to bed early and being all responsible only to be unable to sleep. Sleep is so dumb. Why do we even have to do it. Just a fucking waste of time. Such a massive waste of time it’s ridiculous.

Trying to post the first chapter of DWTW on FF.net but it’s not letting me. Damn you !! *throws angry fist in the air*