#sleep disorders

Third Person POV

(Y/n) has been struggling with sleep disorders almost her entire life; it’s been everything from sleepwalking to insomnia to nightmares and everything in between. She always thought she’d grow out of it like all the doctors told her, but it never really went away, not completely. Sure she rarely sleepwalked anymore, she didn’t struggle falling asleep as much anymore, the one thing she still struggled with every so often was the nightmares. 

After (Y/n) began dating Sunghoon, the nightmares has both become better yet also worse. They’re not as frequent but once she gets a nightmare, it’s bad. It sometimes becomes paralyzing in the sense that she just can’t move, she can’t think, she’s just frozen, she can’t seem to relax again.

(Y/n)’s spent a few nights over at Sunghoon’s place just as he has slept over at hers. So far, she hasn’t had a nightmare during these nights. This night, however, was different. Sunghoon came over to her place as a surprise as they haven’t been able to spend a lot of time together lately. They ordered food, watched a few movies as they cuddled on the couch, and then finally they got ready for bed. 

~~~

Sunghoon hung over her back as they brushed their teeth, she smiled and laughed at the silly faces he made in the mirror. She loved this Sunghoon, the one only she got to see. The head over heels in love, silly, sweet guy. 

Once they laid down in bed, Sunghoon fell asleep quickly, (Y/n) however laid still, watching the roof. The night before she had a terrible nightmare, and now it seemed to have awakened her insomnia. No matter what she tried, she just couldn’t fall asleep. Not even cuddling closer to her boyfriend could help. 

After two hours of no success, she sighed and gave up. She got out of bed and went out to the kitchen, in the dim lights she sat down by the kitchen table with a newly brewed cup of tea. She sipped it a few times, the taste turning more and more bitter with each one. She looked back toward the bedroom door, she really wanted to go back there, curl into her boyfriends arms, lay her head on his chest and fall asleep listening to his heart beat. But she couldn’t. And it sucked. 

She turned back to her tea, staring at it as if it was the tea’s fault she couldn’t sleep. A few more minutes passed by, her cup still almost full and growing cold. Her thoughts so loud that she didn’t hear the bedroom door opening or her boyfriend calling her name. 

“(Y/n)?” “Hey? You okay?” It wasn’t until he sat down beside her that she noticed him. “Oh, Honnie, I’m sorry, did I wake you?” Sunghoon looked at her both tired and concerned. “No, I just got thirsty so I woke up and then I saw that you were gone,” He paused and looked at her cup then back at her. “Having trouble sleeping?” (Y/n) looked down, feeling a little ashamed. Adults aren’t supposed to have nightmares and sleep disorders, and she’s not a child, not anymore. 

Sunghoon understood that something was wrong, he didn’t know exactly what but he knew, there was something she tried to hide. “It’s okay if you do, there’s nothing wrong with having troubles sometimes,” 

“It’s just-“ Sunghoon grabbed her hand, gently running his thumb across it. An encouragement for her to continue. “I’ve struggled with different sleep disorders my whole life. I used to walk in my sleep, it was so bad I literally had to be restrained, I’ve had insomnia to the point where I had to pass out to actually fall asleep, and I’ve had nightmares so bad that I’m scared of sleeping,” She paused for a second before she continued. 

“I don’t sleepwalk anymore, I haven’t for almost ten years, the insomnia kind of comes and goes every now and then, the nightmares however, have been persistent, at least one every week. And I just had a really bad one yesterday so it’s hard to fall asleep today,” “Why didn’t you tell me earlier? I could have tried to help you” “My parents always told me that ‘it was time to grow up’ anytime my sleep disorders flared up, it only got worse the older I got. They were ashamed of me and I guess I adapted this mindset myself, feeling childish and like a failure for not overcoming my troubles,” 

Sunghoon felt his heart clench at the sad look on (Y/n)’s face, he squeezed her hand a little harder, but she pulled away and got up from her seat. (Y/n) brought her cup over to the sink, pouring out the cold tea, her shoulders feeling heavy. 

She knew that Sunghoon wasn’t one to judge people for things they can’t help, but she couldn’t come pass her own shame. Sunghoon followed her, gently wrapping his arms around her body, whispering gently. “Come on, let’s go back to bed, I’ll help you fall asleep, and if you can’t sleep then we’ll stay up all night, we can pretend we’re kids again and staying up passed our bedtime,” (Y/n) chuckled at Sunghoon’s joke, leaning into his embrace. His warmth finally feeling soothing again. (Y/n) nodded, turning around in his arms, returning his hug. 

The couple soon after returned to bed, Sunghoon laid down first, opening his arms, gesturing for (Y/n) to lay down in his embrace, which she did. She rested her head on his chest, settling down in his arms. Sunghoon put one hand on her head, gently carding through her hair, hoping to sooth her mind, then he quietly began singing a song. “What are you doing?” (Y/n) questioned, a bit confused yet happy. “I’m helping you fall asleep of course, is it not helping?” (Y/n) looked up at Sunghoon, a silly-tired smile on her lips, Sunghoon couldn’t resist the urge to lean down and kiss her, so he did just that. “It’s helping a lot, thank you, I really do love you,” She settled back down with her head on his chest, his hand in her hair, and his warm loving voice slowly lulling her to sleep.