#slav asks

Some of you may have heard about me from the Paladins. I assisted them during several crucial missions, including escaping a Galra ship (which had a 97.4% chance of failure, by the way—yet here I am, typing on a human website). I specialize in determining which timeline has the highest success probability, although Shiro and the others say I “overthink things.” I disagree! There is no such thing as “overthinking,” only “under-calculating.”

I heard about this “Tumblr” thing from the paladins (Pidge insisted it would be “a controlled environment” for me—this is incorrect, but I am embracing the chaos as an experiment). So I decided to make an account! I will be answering questions, posting my multi-dimensional theories, reblogging things that have favorable energy alignments, and learning more about Earth culture—which contains far more cats than I statistically predicted.

About me: I am an Ardussian monk dedicated to understanding probabilities across infinite realities. I have survived explosions, Galra prisons, and Keith’s driving. I also have twelve working arms in theory (only two in this universe, sadly), and my meditation routines ensure that I remain calm… unless something has a failure rate over 40%, which is unacceptable.

I am currently assisting the Coalition, advising them on optimal decision-making strategies (though they do not always follow them, which causes my stress probability to spike). I am also still learning several Earth concepts—why humans willingly drink “energy drinks,” why chairs have only four legs, and why Lance keeps telling me to “just chill.”

Oh! my pronouns are he/him and im asexual. Shiro told me this was important to include for clarity and statistical accuracy.

Feel free to send asks about probability theory, alternate realities, meditation practices, the paladins, or any hypothetical scenario—especially ones involving survival rates. I absolutely adore answering questions! (Questions have a 100% chance of enlightenment.)

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Slav’s Tags:

#slav asks (I answer an ask)

#slav speaks (my posts)

#slav thoughts (probability-based reblogs)

#ooc post (actual person behind the blog)

Other Tumblr blogs:

@coran-official @hunkg-official @keithk-offc @pidge-holt-offical @tshiro-offc @lance-mcclain-offical @adam-w-official @vld-kaltenecker @lotor-official @matth-official @allura-mice-offc @acxa-offc @veronica-mcclain-official @bom-agent-728 @voltron-counselor @mfe-pilots-official @curtis-ribeiro-official

Thank you for reading! There is a 98.2% chance I will enjoy my time here and a 100% chance I will be flooding @tshiro-offc's ask box for unsafe probability behaviors.

ooc under cut:

Please include Mister Coran and the mice and princess in your calculations

This question is for research purposes

@hunkg-official 7%

@coran-official 5%

@lance-mcclain-offical 11%

@pidge-holt-offical 15%

@tshiro-offc 17%

@keithk-offc 20%

allura 28%

mice 35%

What's the worst one you've ever calculated?

defintly the one where I ran into @keithk-offc and @lance-mcclain-offical making out in the castle pool... that was not a very good memeory

(if he's asking nasty questions, then he shouldn't be left out!)

hmmmmmm...

I don't know a lot about 728 besdies that lotor is planning something about him-

I'll estimate though- lets go with a solid 50% chance

Just how much authority do you hold over the inner workings of Voltron!? How long have they considered you an ally, and how long have you been plotting the DESTRUCTION of our allyship?!

This question is for research purposes

You're just like, a bullshit catepillar w a beak?

uhm… excuse me?!?

And/or what can I do to increase it?

- @pidge-holt-offical

the probability of this happening is a 98.31% chance, this is only because they still are 'pining idiots' as you earthlings call them