Shitpost: When Someone Calls About Your Demon Boyfriend Causing Problems
Unknown number: Excuse me, can you come pick up your freak of a man? He's doing things!
Me: No, I set him loose on purpose, he needs to get his energy out!
Unknown number: Energy out?! HE'S STABBING PEOPLE WITH HIS JAGGED KNIFE!
Me: Womp womp, that's your problem now, not mine!
Listen, he was cooped up inside all day, what did you expect?? He gets restless if I don't let him hunt!! This is enrichment for him!! 💀
It's like letting your cat loose in a store to knock stuff over, except instead of knocking over products he's knocking over PEOPLE (permanently) 😭
Or like letting your werewolf friend loose on a college campus to chase students around for cardio!!
I'm just being a responsible girlfriend by making sure my demon bear boyfriend gets his exercise and stimulation!! If that means setting him loose to cause chaos, then SO BE IT!! 🤷♀️✨
He'll come back when he's tired, it's FINE!! 💀💕
(This is obviously not canon but it's funny as hell to imagine)
