Mœrens
My blog turns 3 years old today.
I didn't really start posting frequently until 7 months after, though. That's very typical of me, I sit back and observe intently until I feel comfortable enough to act. For that, Tumblr has been an amazing place for me. I've learnt so much from others and in some ways even vicariously lived through them. Yeah, I know that sounds a little odd but that's just the way I am. Solitude and circumspection are my natural state. That doesn't mean I have no friends and contrary to what you might think, I treasure the company of loved ones very dearly. I do have a life outside of this, I promise but the cautious way in which I approach people on Tumblr pretty much replicates my everyday social conduct. The difference is that here, I can observe and asses more carefully without freaking people out LOL... yeah, I don't know how to explain it without making it sound more creepy.
Here, I have met unbelievably talented people, very dear friends, a lover that I'm very grateful to have in my life (all merit goes to his magnanimous tolerance towards me and big heart), and true life mentors. All of you are people I care very much about. I miss you, I worry about you, and I root for you. My weird sticky memory lets me remember a creepy amount of details of what you all share here and I legitimately feel happy when something good happens in your life.
For whatever validity it might add, all my experience in my young life has proven me right, time after time. I am never wrong about people and from my extended assessment, you are all wonderful individuals.
I've been very busy lately with my company and I haven't been on here as much as I would like to. That however, is not the only reason why I've been staying away. I've also been trying to process Sterling's sudden sickness and subsequent death.
I never met him in person but somehow it felt like I did. We interacted often outside of tumblr, through email. I don't know how significant it was to him but those exchanges were tremendously valuable for me. Skekoa was an irreverent asshole. I know that he antagonized, annoyed or openly provoked more than one of you. I disagreed with him in many topics myself but if you took the time to look, you would know that he had a very unique sensibility and wisdom. Among all the brilliant people here on tumblr, he is the person I learnt from the most. He was a true life mentor and I miss him.
I know it's silly but so many things here remind me of him and I can't help to choke up a little when I come back. This is one of the few times in my life where I feel I have unfinished business.
I'll get over it and start posting soon but in the meantime, I'm mourning.
Good bye, Sterling. If I can promise you something, it is that I'll always remember.
Petons
A
