#sircus

"Come on! Come on! It's showtime! Don't you want to come perform with us?!... Even if you don't see them now, I assure you that you'll be with them soon..."

Let's move on to another drawing! I have a lot to finish... but I'll bring them soon! (I hope)

He tries to speak for Simon here, as if he knows what Simon wants, when in reality it’s the complete opposite. He removes Simon’s agency from the relationship and the situation.

When Simon confesses his love to Wille in episode six, he says this:

To which Wille responds:

This is an open dialogue between them, one which Simon opens by subtextually asking Wille what he wants. Wille’s opened this dialogue in episode 5, when he tells Simon where he’s coming from, what he wants, and what he’s willing to do to get it. And Simon responds in kind here: this is what he wants and what he’s willing to do to get it. Unlike his relationship with Marcus, he doesn’t try to force his opinion or feelings onto Wille, and doesn’t assume how he feels.

I fucking hate him. sorry not sorry.

Like when Simon tries to break things off because he’s not ready for the relationship Marcus has made it clear he wants, Marcus is quick to not even try to win Simon back over, but to tell him that they’ll be continuing on, taking things slow, so his feeling really doesn’t matter. And bringing up Simon’s father, in the don’t worry you’re not your shitty dad way, is something meant to shame Simon, masquerading as comfort. Like it’s both “don’t worry you’re not him” and “you don’t want to be a shitty, distant partner like your dad do you?”

Marcus knows Simon’s family, so even though Simon is clearly uncomfortable, he doesn’t argue with that, he accepts that Marcus must have a point, some insight.

Really, it starts right away, with Marcus denying Simon the hook up he wants because Marcus wants a relationship, so that’s what they’re doing. And it seems like Simon can argue like hell with the Hillerska boys because they don’t fucking know him, but Marcus does, and Simon’s mom likes Marcus, they went to school together as kids, so he just gives in. Marcus must know what he’s about, and Simon does want to be wanted openly, so there’s that.

But Marcus doesn’t listen to Simon’s other wants. Simon tells him not to show up for the rowing competition and he does it anyway. Simon invites Marcus to the ball and Marcus brushes him off.

Simon’s playing ball in that scene, too—yeah it’s a reaction to Wille in part, but he’s trying to offer Marcus knowledge of this other piece of him, and Marcus just scoffs at it. He already knows Simon-he’s heard Simon sing in his room (uninvited) and on his own turf at karaoke, why does he need to hear him at Hillerska? Why would he come to an event Simon actually wants him at when it’s not something Marcus would go to otherwise? Plus the offer to come over later feels explicitly like he’s dangling what he thinks Simon does want in his rejection. It wasn’t time for a sleepover and whatever that entails before, when Simon wanted that, but now it is, because Marcus wants it.

And at least here Simon is clearly upset but he also just kind of shrugs and says okay. Like, he doesn’t want to rock the boat, he doesn’t want to be the one who ruins everything. He doesn’t want to send Marcus back to his mom and the gossip mill with the news that Simon is just like his father, ruining this beautiful connection they have.

Even when Marcus decides to come to the damn ball, it’s not on Simon’s terms. He just shows up, ready to go, before Simon’s even ready. He inserts himself uninvited into Simon’s space and acts like he’s doing Simon the world’s biggest favor here, he’s such a good boyfriend really.

(Glossing over Simon’s behavior after this because it’s not great lmao) Simon probably should have broken up with Marcus right away instead of also sort of pursuing Wille, but honestly, Marcus has already shown that he doesn’t really consider what Simon wants. If Simon had come to him right after the ball, like morning after, and told him he needed space, maybe they should slow down or whatever, Marcus would have hugged him and told him they were doing great and going slow and it was all perfect. And they wouldn’t have broken up any more than they did in canon.

And then obviously when they do end things, it’s still in a way that makes Marcus look like the victim, that paints Simon like his father’s son in some ways. Simon takes away Marcus’s say in their relationship by effectively ending it with his actions with Wille, and Marcus doesn’t like that one bit. And honestly? Marcus’s story is going to sound like the truth, it’s going to change the way Simon can interact with the people who used to be his peers outside Hillerska. So really, he’s still calling the shots.