#sinship

Whenever she felt sad, she thought of Tamaran and how much she missed it; wondering if Tamaran also missed her. She considered leaving when she was upset as well. 

However, she knew, once she had gone and was back on Tamaran, she would in turn begin to miss Earth.

It was a conflicting conundrum that she wished she could solve.

Her heart lay with both planets for different reasons. Tamaran was her birthplace; somewhere she knew all the customs and rules, a place she never felt out of place and somewhere that felt familiar.

Earth, on the other hand, had so many fascinating things, it had new and exciting traditions for her to learn, it had her friends…

It had Robin.

Her heart clenched in her chest.

Even thinking about him hurt. But, she was starting to get used to this. It was the same cycle, over and over again.

Whilst he was wonderfully sweet, caring and kind, the majority of the time she spent around him; there was the small percentage of when he could be a complete and utter clorbag.

She wanted to scream at him and lose her temper like he so easily could but she resisted. In her mind, whilst he was her friend and someone she held deep affection for… he was her leader.

Subordinates were never to disagree with their leaders. It was unbecoming of a warrior to go against thgeir superiors. 

Whatever Robin said, went.

She frowned and her eyes shifted focus from the stars to the ocean, calm and tranquil as it continued a steady flow of in and out, dragging sand and shells back into its depth with every new wave; big and small.

After tonight’s episode… she just felt so disheartened. Every time they got closer and when she finally dabbled with the idea that Robin might care for her in more than a friendly way, he shut down any hope she may have had.

He’d taken her aside today after a battle with Mumbo and completely tore her apart over her techniques, saying how she could have gotten hurt or could have gotten others hurt. She couldn’t understand what she had done wrong nor could she understand why she was the only one who he seemed to notice.

Every time she did something ‘wrong’, he managed to notice but when she actually wanted his attention, he didn’t bat an eyelid.

She wrapped her arms around herself.

Her friends had just stared in surprise, not doing anything to jump to her defense or help her out. 

Mumbo had a gun pointed at a child.

Starfire hadn’t had any hesitation to dive in front of the child to protect them. The bang had sounded and it had been one of the ‘joke’ guns as she thought it probably would have been but still unwilling to take such a chance.

Why had Robin been so angry about that?

Personally, she thought that was the very definition of heroism.

Starfire sniffled as she sat on the roof of one of the tall skyscrapers dotted around Jump City. 

She just felt… very alone right now.

Little spats like this tended to make her overthink and it made her think a lot about her place on Earth and whether or not she truly did belong on Earth.

Suddenly, something dropped down behind her.

Starfire’s ear perked. 

She may have been upset with her situation with her leader and friends but she was always on alert, ready to take out any foe who dared to challenge her.

Bringing a hand to her lap, she curled it into a fist and it faintly glowed green, her starbolt charging stronger, the closer the enemy came.

The soft thud they had made sound very similar to Robin but not quite; this person, as they walked, seemed to have a lot more swagger in their step. She could sense it.

“Well… isn’t this a treat.” His voice echoed, cool and collected,

Starfire’s shoulders slumped a small fraction and the starbolt winked out. She wasn’t in the mood for this criminal, of all that roamed the city.

She exhaled and looked back towards the skyline.

Bold as he was, the thief planted himself right next to her, legs hanging over the edge of the roof, just as hers were.

“Evening, cutie.” Red X crooned,

Her brows furrowed a little, “Go. Away.”

Chuckling was what she heard, followed by a bewildered breath, 

“What? I haven’t even done anything yet.” He pointed out, his electronic voice grating on her due to it’s similarity to what her heart wanted most in this world,

She closed her eyes, “No, but you are here which can only mean bad things. Now, leave me alone.”

“Eesh, someone has really pissed you off today.” 

Starfire turned to glare at him for his use of language. The eyes of his mask widened and he held up his hands in defense,

“Oops. Sorry.” He told her, not sounding sorry at all,

“What are you doing here, Red X?” Starfire interrogated,

“Mm, not a lot to steal tonight and my friends just call me X, cutie.” He replied, leaning back on the palms of his gloved hands. 

She huffed, turned her nose up and straightened her spine, “I am not your friend.”

He thumped his hand to his chest, just above his heart, “Oh. I’m wounded.”

“Will you just leave already?” She said, through gritted teeth,

“Why do-“

Her head spun in his direction, her eyes glowing a furious green so bright that it reflected off of his mask. 

“Leave me alone.” She growled,

Red X leaned back slightly. He dropped into silence but didn’t leave. 

Starfire turned back to face the city, her heart beating rapidly. She just wanted time alone with her thoughts; something she so rarely let herself do, considering what a social butterfly she normally  was. 

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Her eyes widened and she turned to him again, “What?” 

Red X sat there, his elbows draped over his knees as he leaned forward, also staring out at the quiet streets below. 

“Well… you’re clearly upset about something. Why else would you be out here on your own?”

“I am not-”

“Starfire… please. I’m not stupid.” He told her, Starfire smothering her surprise; he never called her by her name, it was always Cutie, “And… whilst I know I’m not your top choice… I can be a good listener, y’know.”

She blinked, inwardly debating whether or not he could be trusted. He had shown kindness in the past, to her specifically as well. 

“I-I… it is nothing…” She murmured,

Red X snorted, “Pft… right. I’m convinced.”

Rolling her shoulders, Starfire glanced at him, a blush creeping onto her face.

“I… had an altercation with my friend.”

“Robin.”

She stayed quiet for a moment, “Mm… Robin.”

Red X laughed suddenly, “Y’know, cutie… your boyfriend really sucks-”

“He is not my boyfriend!” She snapped, glaring at him,

He sighed and tilted his head at her, eyes narrowed, “But, you want him to be.”

She stared at the mysterious, masked man for a long moment before she turned away, brushing some hair behind her ear. 

“It does not matter what I want… Robin has made it abundantly clear that he would never be interested in me in a romantic way…” Starfire whispered, her heart hurting and tears pricking her eyes,

“Oh, please-”

“You do not know anything about it-“

A hand on his shoulder. She froze, wondering if she should grab it and tear it off but his words caught her off guard,

“I do know one thing…” He waited until she looked at him, “Any guy who wouldn’t be interested in you, is either insane or gay.”

Starfire rolled her eyes, his flirtatious ways just rolling off of her at this point.

Red X gave her shoulder a comforting squeeze, “I mean it… you’re gorgeous and if he can’t see it… he’s a dumbass.”

She blinked her big green eyes at him before she giggled.

Deep down, she knew she didn’t like the way he was talking about Robin but right now, she was hurting and it… helped for Red X to share his thoughts.

“I’m serious… if I ever had a chance with you…” He trailed off, not finishing that thought,

But, Starfire was curious and turned her body towards him slightly.

“Yes?”

He let his hand slip from her shoulder and shrugged, “Doesn’t matter.”

“Please… if you ever had the chance with me…” She prompted, truly wanting to know,

Red X lifted his eyes to hers and swallowed so his throat wasn’t so dry,

“If I had a chance with you… I’d make you mine, immediately… not be indecisive like chuckles seems to be. He should know how quickly a girl like you would get snapped up.”

Starfire felt herself blush, “Thank you.”

He nodded, “You’re worth more than he makes you feel… that’s all.”

“I-I do not think he does it with the intention to hurt me-”

“It’s not an excuse.” 

She smiled quietly to herself, surprised but also intrigued by what he’d been saying.

“Perhaps… we should not be talking about this.”

Red X leaned back on his elbows and lightly patted the space beside him, inviting her to relax with him,

“It’s just you and me, tonight. We can do anything we want.” He told her, in a matter of fact sort of tone,

“I…”

“I’ve got all the time in the world… if you have.” Red X explained,

Whilst she knew it was wrong and she certainly shouldn’t be hanging out with let alone confiding in a criminal, something inside told her it was okay.

Robin would extremely disapprove but… he was not here and he did not make her decisions for her.

She copied his actions, leaning back and gave him a small smirk,

“Okay, X… what do you have in mind to talk about?” She wondered,

Red X grinned beneath the mask, honing in on the fact that she’d used the nickname.