#singed eyebrows

WHERES THE EYEBROWS

What do you do when your mining operation goes wrong and starts to leak natural gas everywhere? Run? Like anyone, these miners figured that the best way to get rid of the dangerous, flammable gas would be to set it on fire and wait for it to burn off. And so they tossed in a match and left for their lunch break early... Only they slightly underestimated how much gas there was (or maybe overestimated how long lunch would take)--it’s still burning today, some 40 years later. The Soviets weren’t exactly known for their safety standards. But I’ve always said, “safety third!” Because sometimes one man’s mistake is another man’s campfire.

We’ve received a cordial invitation to a tea party at the Door to Hell in Turkmenistan. As fate has it, it just so happens we'll likely be lost nearby in the Karakum Desert at the time! The dress code is adventure formal, so we’ll all be sure to wear our nicest clothes, and to have a shower the week before. Team ‘Worst Case Ontario’ is planning to rappel into the pit to cook a BBQ. We’re planning to attend their funeral. 

And of course everyone knows that no campfire is complete without s’mores. It’s only a matter of how we can cook them without accidentally cooking an unintended limb or two. We think things will probably be okay if we wear oven mitts. A buddy assured me that this is a great idea and that a fishing rod will work... I intend to find out if he was right, or if he was drunk.