#sincerelygarden

Maybe something just switched in my brain

Maybe from the disappointment of an unsweet strawberry

or a rude stranger

or nobody listening when I had something to say

I kept sinking my aching teeth into berries

I was insatiable, unsatisfied

Insatiable, unsatisfied

I felt like an evil human

because I felt nothing

nothing but stained blue

and cherry fingerprints

on the corners of my mouth

pale surfaces and cigarettes

nobody likes a woman that smells like cigarettes anymore, do they?

I tried lipstick, let it melt on my tongue

coat my insides like honey and uncertainty

I swallowed my own heartbeats

gulped down hornets and vanilla perfume

I swallowed my own voice

thought maybe they’ll hear me next time

until I got stuck at a red light

and the gas light came on

and the birds picked the little trees bare

and it was noon, and the church started screaming at me and the sky split open and it started to rain

I was nothing anymore

nothing but bitter and rude and not listening to a thing anybody had to say

I felt like an evil human

Insatiable, unsatisfied

Insatiable, unsatisfied

truthfully I didn’t care about you

Certainly not about me

but I am sorry for disappearing

all I really know is there’s an awful void here

and I cant hold a smile anymore