"what are you so afraid of?"
@sinblooded requested a prompt / accepting.
fear is scarce, a feeling that no longer runs through verso’s veins as an unquestioned ruler, though perhaps one he sometimes finds himself chasing precisely because it is so determined to remain beyond his grasp. he has felt it before. the fear of being alone, the fear that certain things might never end, the fear of eventually realizing exactly where he is trapped. perhaps those fears pale in comparison to others, the kind that creep over the skin like a shiver along the spine or make a heartbeat pound so loudly it might as well be heard by anyone nearby. but it has been a long time since verso felt truly afraid. a long time since he could look at a feeling, recognize it for what it was, and give it a name. fear. without hesitation and without doubt. without having to wonder whether what stirs beneath his skin is truly fear at all.
❛ me ? nothing. ❜ drawn from his own thoughts, verso’s gaze slowly returns to the world around him, finally lifting to meet levi’s. he has always thought levi looked somewhat boyish. young, not particularly towering in height, with an almost natural curiosity reflected in those green eyes of his. following his own words, and perhaps using them as an attempt to gently steer the conversation elsewhere, verso allows a short chuckle to slip free, his shoulders rising with the next deep breath he draws in. it is a lie, of course, though he is not entirely certain why he chose to tell it. perhaps because telling the lie is easier than telling the truth. that much is obvious.
maybe that is why verso has developed such an affinity for aversion, for carefully stepping around the truth rather than confronting it head-on. though to call it an affinity might be too generous. it is simply efficient. a small white lie here, another there, and suddenly he has found a convenient way out of conversations he is not prepared to have, truths he is not yet willing to voice.
❛ you want anything ? ❜ the question is directed toward levi, though verso’s gaze remains fixed upon the back of the bar, where rows upon rows of liquor bottles stand neatly lined up, waiting to be put to use. he must be two drinks in by now, the alcohol yet to make itself properly known, though he can certainly appreciate the warmth of it as it slowly spreads through his system. a moment later, his attention drifts back toward levi, gaze once again sweeping over his features as though searching for some subtle change, something that might have appeared within the span of the last minute. ❛ you old enough to drink ? ❜ it takes far too long for the question to finally slip past his lips, though thankfully not long enough for verso to realize just how inappropriate it is. a small wave of his hand dismisses it before it can linger any longer than necessary. he shifts in his seat until he is leaning against the bartop, turning his attention toward the other side to catch the bartender’s eye.
❛ i suppose i don’t particularly like permanence. ❜ perhaps it’s the drinks finally getting to him, no longer feeling as tight lipped as before, the admission slips out with a tired sigh. new drink in hand, he spins the golden liquid in the glass, though his attention remains on levi’s face. ❛ you look younger than you are, i assume. ❜ they are in a bar after all. ❛ believe it or not, so do i. ❜ a chuckle rises from his throat, lips turned up in a small smile. ❛ being stuck like this, that is something perhaps worth fearing. ❜
