#sin.ask

firstly, i think it’s important to acknowledge that LDRs are hard. some days are harder than others, some milestones or events are harder than others, some periods of time are harder than others. it’s important to acknowledge that and discuss that with your partner. communication and honesty are vital to a healthy relationship.

secondly, i’m hopelessly in love with my butch and we haven’t yet faced a period in which things have become stagnant or difficult. there will be a point, as with any couple. but i’m speaking in hypotheticals here as it isn’t something i’ve faced.

so with that said, i’ll speak generally on things we do that work for us…

we spend time in a variety of ways. we listen to playlists together, we watch things together, we play games together. we yap about anything and everything. we’re aiming to read some of the same books. it’s finding ways to spend quality time with one another despite the distance.

we have little symbols that mean something for us. we both buy cherry jewellery, accessories, candles etc. cherries have always been a thing for us. we also each have a little bunny plush. my butch buys tulips for her home as they’re my flower. etc etc. finding meaning in small things that you can share to bring closeness.

i would also say to try to organise time together during the week dedicated to your relationship. we’re fortunate to be within the same time zone so this is easier than some would find it. but it’s important to have time just to relax together or connect or fuck. whatever it is you want to do during that time. but it’s your shared time and where possible, you stick to those plans.

some random cutesy things:

🌷 my butch makes playlists for me for every mood, event, thought or feeling she has. i love it. we have various sex playlists which i recommend. hehe.

🌷 we have matching socks.

🌷 i love reminding her of small milestones or memories that we’ve shared.

🌷 she found us little lego characters that are us.

🌷 my butch learns songs that i love on her guitar and performs them for me. that’s quite an us specific thing but could be translated into other hobbies or skills!

some not so cutesy things:

🌷 i buy lingerie sets that remind me of my butch or are sets that i know she’d like and surprise her by wearing them on our date nights. or just drop random nudes during the day.

🌷 we talk heavily about fantasies. relationships are all about consensually exploring your shared likes and kinks. in our case, the more depraved the better. 😇

🌷 being verbal in what they do or say that turns you on, that makes you feel good, that you enjoy. giving praises and reassurances during. ensuring there is plenty of time for comedowns and aftercare.

🌷 if possible: different locations. different angles. different positions. different fantasies. change up pet names. try a new toy. if you find things are slowing, that’s totally normal, but you can also try mixing something new into your experiences to see if that lights a fire.