I don’t usually do posts like this, and I know I am going to sound like such a b-tch for saying this but like f-ck it.

I don’t get the love for Simon. Like at all.

And whilst I am critical, I don’t usually hate characters. But Simon, he’s one of those few who are the exceptions.

And before you think so, no it’s got to do with the fact that I like Jellal.

It’s because of the emotional weight Simon gets is completely out of proportion to who he was and what he actually did.

Might sound callous, but like—

Yeah, he died?

And?

What else did he do?

Nothing is notable about him except negativity and passivity.

Examples?

He was jealous of Jellal when they were literal enslaved kids

Meanwhile, Jellal probably didn’t even notice because—idk—he was focused on surviving.

He got his face rearranged—literally lost his jaw and his bloody eye—all because he couldn’t wait to until after an ongoing rebellion to be petty about a crush. Like bro—you are in the midst of a f-cking war, people can die if you stop fighting now, your girl you like could be one of them. WHERE ARE YOUR PRIORITIES.

And it’s not a matter about him being a kid, or like teehee a crush. He lacks like perspective period. All of this is happening outside of him and he cares if Erza has crush on Jellal?

Not the safety of his ‘friends’. Not the fact that Grandpa Rob just died (I believe he did by then). Not the fact that if they get captured it’s possible they might be killed for it.

But no.

It’s his crush that’s of importance now.

How tone deaf—

And on that point, did he actually care about anyone other than Erza???

Erza fought for all the little kids. Jellal wanted freedom for everyone.

What did Simon do? Sit next to trauma and stew about his feelings. Like I get it not everyone is going to be a profound like that, but why is everyone acting like he did something.

He literally did nothing.

Then when Erza tries to save Jellal—who let’s remember is being tortured—what does Simon say?

“Do you like him or something?”

HELLO??? I CANNOT.

Someone you know is possibly dying and that’s your response??? Excuse me? (I’m sorry I won’t say this guy is Jellal’s friend because he is not.)

This isn’t love. Not in any form. It’s insecurity cosplaying as concern.

And then let’s take in consideration that Erza was tortured to the point that she lost her eye. And now Jellal is in that same space and hasn’t been seen since. A good friend would be like “we need to get there quickly.”

They would haste on his behalf.

But Simon doesn’t haste.

He hates.

And you know the guilt Erza has for not getting there quick enough to save her friend. You think Simon stalling her doesn’t like lowkey play into that?

But yeah let’s go on about how great Simon is.

And then he dies. He dies in a scene that was never about him in the first place—just to add extra trauma to Erza.

Even as he dies, what does he say?

“I’ve always loved you.”

Not : “tell the others i’m sorry.”

Not : “save him.” (Let’s be real at this point I don’t think he cared if Jellal was saved or not)

Just : “Remember me.”

All whilst coated in that same insecurity, self absorption and narcissism he’s had as a child.

He’s not thinking about that Erza is going through it. That she just got betrayed. Nearly sacrificed. No he just wants her to remember what he felt.

He doubted her capabilities when it came to Jellal and this confession feels like a lowkey punishment for that.

Like “Look at who you loved and what he did, but I’m the one who truly loved you.”

But does that actually read as a confession of love? No. No it does not.

It reeks of his same bitterness he’s had throughout but is being given a pedestal because he’s dying in her arms.

It wasn’t a declaration of love. It was an attempt to one up the man he couldn’t beat, even when the man was steeped in delusion and insanity.

It was the final guilt trip.

A desperate play to be the one remembered.

And I guess it worked out in his favour didn’t it? Because Simon wouldn’t be remembered out of his own relevance. He’s only remembered because of those who are actually relevant carry his name.

For all he is, his character feels off. And not in a way that’s mistaken.

He’s weird.

Icky.

Bitter.

And most importantly selfish beneath the quiet act.

He didn’t lead.

He didn’t change anything.

He didn’t save anyone.

So why does the fandom act like he’s a fallen saint?

And do you know what hurts most about this? About Simon and his connection to Jellal?

Jellal mourns Simon like a brother.

He carries the guilt of killing him so hard, it drove him suicidal. He carries Simon’s name, his memory as he mattered to him. Like he was someone who stood by him—someone who tried.

But let’s be honest here:

If the roles were reversed, would Simon have done the same?

Nothing in canon says he would’ve.

When Jellal descended—when he fell into madness—

Did Simon try to do anything to stop it? Did he try to speak to him? Even try to remind Jellal of who he was?

He didn’t step in. He didn’t even say “we need to help him.” He didn’t even try to reach him.

He just watched and then decided:

“Oh, he’s evil now.”

No protest. No struggle. No heartbreak.

Just judgment.

Maybe even contentment.

And it’s just tragic because Jellal remembers Simon with sincerity.

But Simon?

Simon never saw Jellal as a brother. He didn’t even see him as a friend. He saw him as a threat. A rival. A problem.

So it lowkey hurts to see Jellal carrying grief for this man like it’s a sacred thing—for someone who would have never carried him back.

Simon died and Jellal is mourning his name years after like he lost blood. If Jellal died? Simon would be the first one to light the pyre.

He was not noble. I’m tired of hearing people say or act like he was.

He was insecure, jealous and forgettable.

A side character who watched people suffer and only stepped in when it served his own feelings.

Simon Mikazuchi wasn’t a hero. Wasn’t even a martyr.

What he was, was a selfish opportunist—quiet, calculating and emotionally strategic.

For a better word: a snake.

Yet despite all that, he was still a walking L.

A loser from the beginning to the end.

Didn’t love Jellal. Didn’t even love Erza imo.

All he loved were his insecurities and his self pity.

Ex-catholics:

Dom Women: