โย ย iโmย pretendingย ย &ย ย thatโsย allย iย canย do .ย ย โ @silvreflames
there used to be a time, growing up, when you admired nesta's ability to stay regal at all times. you'd wear your heart on your sleeve, and it'd show on your face whenever you were angry. it happened a lot - you were angry quite a lot.
nesta would also be angry, but she'd conceal it so well, that you had to squint and look to be able to see it, past the perfectly polished doll that your mother bred. mother said you were a wild little beast, untamable and messy; back then, it would hurt, and a part of you would resent nesta for being the one always having your mother's attention. but now, as you look at your sister and notice the cracks on her that begin to show even as she fights desperately to conceal them, you realize that as much as you are damaged goods, so is she. so is elain.
the archeron sisters were bred from calamity, wrath, and misery.
" i wish you did not have to," you'll come to sit next to your sister, a heavy contrast between the way you hunch on your chair and nesta sits like a swan perched on the water. and as you glance at her, you see the similar cracks on her that you see on yourself - nestaยดs are on her face, though, her lovely and regal face. yours are in your arms and legs, scarred and numb, "this is my fault. all of it. and i can't even say i'd like to go back to the way things were, because we were so miserable back then too," you laugh, bitter, tired, "i don't want you to have to pretend, nesta. if you want to scream, or cry, or break things, do it. because i did. i had to. none of these fucking high fae will ever get it, but if you want to break every single thing in this fucking place, do it. it's the human thing to do, right? and we need that right now."