@silverscreengoldenpages asked: “Do you mean that?”
SIGYN FELT LIKE SHE WOULD CRUMBLE UNDER THE WEIGHT OF IT ALL. like her shoulders would concave and she would simply be unable to rise again, stuck under the mountain of everything she was trying to carry. her father was dying, wasting away from sickness while his mind deteriorates with each passing day. if hes not begging for the pain to stop or finally asleep from the morphine, he barely recognizes her. her brothers con-man ways had men at her door asking for money that she didnt have, harassing her and following her around town. the printing press needed new pieces and ink, she was barely keeping the shop running since her father had fallen ill. and in the middle of everything, he came along. the man who smiled and teased, the god who seemed to give her joy as quickly as the world wanted to take it away from her. in all ways he drove her mad, he endeared her. he wanted her for her mind, her spirit, encouraged her to let go. it took awhile, allowing him behind all the walls she had put up to keep her heart safe. and yet it that sentiment, that trust, that broke her heart now. it felt like it had sunk into her stomach, disintegrating with each passing moment. “ i wish i had never met you, ” her words were biting, punctuated by the tears she refused to let fall. she would not cry in front of him, for him. she was better than that. “ do you mean that? ” her mind said yes but that shattered muscle inside her screamed no. no, because her loyalty would not allow her to abandon him. no because her even though it hurt to look at him, the idea of having never met him sounded much more painful. why did love have to be painful? why couldnt he have just left her alone so that she never knew what it felt like to fall for a god who thought so little of her. “ you lied to me, loki, ” she said, never answering his question. her blue eyes were bright with her anger, her gold hair wildly falling out of its braid. every breath that left her body came out in a cloud as it hit the cold snowy air. “ you lied to my face. you played me like a fool and for what? for amusement? am i just another game? i knew you were selfish but i never believed you to be cruel. ”
