#sillyplans

doomed from the start

there was no way of winning, and you knew it too. but you still tried. you tried again and again and again to change it. you fought tooth and claw to change your fate, but she cannot be easily manipulated. it’s not your fault. the game was always rigged against you. from the moment you entered the narrative, your fate was sealed. you didn’t stand a chance.

Tagged: @sectleaderjiang

go to pinterest and type in your muses name core aesthetic and create a moodboard using nine images.

it feels like burning

everything about you is captivating. you're very intense, and passionate, and some people can't handle that. but no one loves as powerfully as you do, and some people will love that about you. you're easily excited, and tend to feel things very deeply. your emotions are unpredictable. but you are so so beautiful. more so than you know

when they're getting ready for the day

this is all you've ever wanted. you and them and the promise of a future. you should be getting ready too. but you lay in bed for a moment, still feeling the traces of their warmth on the sheets, their scent on your skin. you watch how carefully they choose their outfit for the day. you watch as they pair the colors. you memorize that face they make when they stand at the mirror checking every detail. you savor how routine it is. you savor it because you both earned it. there is something precious in the domesticity and you vow to never take it for granted.

Tagged: @sectleaderjiang

Bold what usually or often applies. Italicise what sometimes applies.

ANGER

jaw clenching, hands balling into fists, teeth grinding, yelling, going nonverbal, stuttering speech, rushed speech, slow concise speech, rambling, quiet, arms crossing, shaking head, tearing up, animated, expressionless, projects, internalizes, vents, withdraws, passive aggressive, direct, physical outbursts, verbal outbursts.

JOY

easy smiles, fighting back grins, suppressed laughter, loud laughter, giggles, chuckling, smirks, whole body laughs, covers mouth when laughing, throws head back when laughing, slaps leg, touches people around them when laughing, looks down when laughing, looks for eye contact when laughing, sparkling eyes, bubbly happiness, quiet subtle happiness, obnoxious happiness, wants to spread joy, quietly savors joy.

SADNESS / CRYING

bottling it up, seeks distractions, wallows, meditates & processes, avoidance, seeks out comfort, withdraws, talks it out, internalizes it, sad smiles, depression naps, uses alcohol, uses drugs, seeks out sources of joy, fidgets with sentimental item, sits in silence, broods, gets moody, wants someone to share the misery, tries to hide negative emotions, nurtures others to make themselves feel better.

EMBARRASSMENT

shame, blushing, looking away, rubbing at back of head, covering face, laughing nervously, laughs it off, overthinks, lets it go, self-deprecating humour, deflects, gets irritated, smiles, withdraws, crossing arms over stomach, crossing arms over chest, hands in pockets, shoulders sinking, shrugs, falling into silence until comfortable again, talking a lot to compensate.

GUILT

avoiding eye contact, shoulders sinking low, head hanging down, crying, chest aches, lashes out, internalizes, apologizes, deflects, communicates, withdraws, grand gestures for forgiveness, accepts fault easily, punishes themselves, martyrdom, victim complex, over-active guilt complex, healthy conscience, internalizes even after forgiveness, seeking redemption, moves on easily, denial, lack of guilt/conscience, sorry they got caught more than caused harm, can’t handle knowing they hurt others.

tagged: @sectleaderjiang

The familiar smell of your lover where their neck meets their shoulder

it’s nameless. you couldn’t apply language to it and do it justice if you tried. it’s a hug going on longer than it’s meant to, wearing their sweatshirt on the way home and crying because it smells so inviting. it’s sinking into a kiss, using their shampoo in the shower, burying yourself a little deeper in the sheets because you’ve never felt so comfortable. whenever they ask you to describe their smell, all you can think is warm, familiar, mine. when you ask them to describe yours they say: it smells like you. home is wherever you can be beside them. everywhere you go is perfect as long as you’re together.

Tagged: @sectleaderjiang