ANONYMOUS: <s̀̇̅̇͛̏́̅̓͂ʏ̒͋̿̈́͐̐͛̒͊̒ś͆̂̓̍͊̿̄́̚ᴛ͒̈́͂̎̄̾́̒̔͗ᴇ͗̅͂͆̉͆͋͆͘̚ᴍ͊́͋̽̽͊̒͠͝͝ ɪɴᴛᴇʀғᴀᴄᴇ>ᴀᴄᴄᴇssɪɴɢ...<ᴡᴇ ᴄ̶ᴀ̸ɴ̶ ғɪɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʀᴇᴠᴇɴɢᴇ>ᴇxɪᴛɪɴɢ...<sʏsᴛᴇᴍ ɪ̡͎̠̻͔͈͖͓̣͜ɴ̨̢̱̤̤͔͕͙̪͜ᴛ̥͙̦̹̭̼̬͎̪̣ᴇ̖͈̻͕̖̪͎̣͙͜ʀ͔͖̝͚͎͎̩̟̞͕ғᴀᴄᴇ>
*cocks his head* I don’t want to exact any revenge.
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ANONYMOUS: <s͗̓͊̾̑̅̋̑̓̇ʏ̎̋͛̾̄̂̓̕͠͝s̛̀̽̊̅͛̓̑͂͆ᴛ́̈́͛̀̒̐͗̑͝͠ᴇ́̀͆͂̃͆̎̑̕͠ᴍ̔͊́͊̇̈́͋̋̄̕ ɪɴᴛᴇʀғᴀᴄᴇ>ᴀᴄᴄᴇssɪɴɢ…<ᴇᴠɪᴅᴇɴᴄᴇ sᴜɢɢᴇsᴛs ᴏᴛʜᴇʀᴡɪsᴇ ᴅ̴ᴇ̸ᴀ̵ɴ̸ ̴ ᴇʀɪᴄ ̷ᴡ̸ɪ̴ɴ̸ᴄ̴ʜ̶ᴇ̷s̶ᴛ̷ᴇ̵ʀ̵. >ᴇxɪᴛɪɴɢ…<sʏsᴛᴇᴍ ɪ̢̢̠̮̤͓̼̬̥ͅɴ͈̗̣͓̞͚̮̟̼ͅᴛ̧̨̪̺͉̝̝̳̪͜ᴇ̨̢̥̳̘̲͖͈̺ͅʀ̧̰͕̥͎̩͉̼̗͉ғᴀᴄᴇ>
Evidence can be tampered with. Who are you and how do you know me?
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ANONYMOUS: <s͗̓͊̾̑̅̋̑̓̇ʏ̎̋͛̾̄̂̓̕͠͝s̛̀̽̊̅͛̓̑͂͆ᴛ́̈́͛̀̒̐͗̑͝͠ᴇ́̀͆͂̃͆̎̑̕͠ᴍ̔͊́͊̇̈́͋̋̄̕ ɪɴᴛᴇʀғᴀᴄᴇ>ᴀᴄᴄᴇssɪɴɢ…<ᴇxᴘʟᴀɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ғᴏʟʟᴏᴡɪɴɢ ᴍɪxᴛᴜʀᴇ ᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴡᴏʀᴋsᴛᴀᴛɪᴏɴ: 5 ᴘ̸ᴛ̶s̷ ᴇᴠᴇʀᴄʟᴇᴀʀ, 2 ᴘᴛs ᴀʙsɪɴᴛʜᴇ, 2 ᴘᴛs Vᴏᴅᴋᴀ, 1 ᴘᴛ ᴄɪɴɴᴀᴍᴏɴ sᴄʜɴᴀᴘᴘs. ᴡᴇ ᴏғғᴇʀ ɴᴏᴛ ᴛ̸ʜ̴ᴇ̴ ʀᴇᴛᴜʀɴ ᴏғ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴍᴏᴛʜᴇʀ's ʟɪғᴇ, ᴡᴇ ᴏɴʟʏ ᴍᴇɴᴛɪᴏɴ ʜᴇʀ ɪɴ ʀᴇɢᴀʀᴅs ᴛ̴ᴏ̴ ̶ᴀ̷ ʟɪғᴇᴛɪᴍᴇ ᴏғ ᴜɴʜᴀᴘᴘɪɴᴇss.>ᴇxɪᴛɪɴɢ…<sʏsᴛᴇᴍ ɪ̢̢̠̮̤͓̼̬̥ͅɴ͈̗̣͓̞͚̮̟̼ͅᴛ̧̨̪̺͉̝̝̳̪͜ᴇ̨̢̥̳̘̲͖͈̺ͅʀ̧̰͕̥͎̩͉̼̗͉ғᴀᴄᴇ>
I don’t work there anymore. Yes, at one point it was used to get me drunk quick, but I left behind because it’s more flammable than gasoline.
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ANONYMOUS: <s͗̓͊̾̑̅̋̑̓̇ʏ̎̋͛̾̄̂̓̕͠͝s̛̀̽̊̅͛̓̑͂͆ᴛ́̈́͛̀̒̐͗̑͝͠ᴇ́̀͆͂̃͆̎̑̕͠ᴍ̔͊́͊̇̈́͋̋̄̕ ɪɴᴛᴇʀғᴀᴄᴇ>ᴀᴄᴄᴇssɪɴɢ…<ᴡᴇ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ʏᴏᴜ. ᴡᴇ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴍᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ᴅɪᴇᴅ ɪ̴ɴ̶ ̸ᴀ̸ɴ̵ ᴇᴀʀʟʏ sᴛᴀɢᴇ ᴏғ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʏᴏᴜᴛʜ. ᴡᴇ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴏғ ʏ̴ᴏ̸ᴜ̶ʀ̷ ᴀᴡᴀᴋᴇɴɪɴɢ ᴀ̴ᴛ̸ ̵ᴛ̵ʜ̸ᴇ̸ ᴀɢᴇ ᴏғ ғᴏᴜʀᴛᴇᴇɴᴛʜ, ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇғᴏʀᴇ, ᴏғ ᴛʜᴇ sᴜʙsᴇǫᴜᴇɴᴛ ᴀʙᴀɴᴅᴏɴᴍᴇɴᴛ ᴠɪᴀ ʏ̴ᴏ̴ᴜ̸ʀ̴ ғᴀᴛʜᴇʀ. ᴡᴇ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ sʟᴇᴇᴘ ᴛ̸ʜ̸ᴇ̶ ɴɪɢʜᴛ ᴏғ ɴᴏᴠᴇᴍʙᴇʀ sᴇᴄᴏɴᴅ. ᴡ̵ᴇ̴ ̶ᴋ̷ɴ̵ᴏ̴ᴡ̸ ̵ʏ̶ᴏ̶ᴜ̸. ʏᴏᴜ ɴᴇᴇᴅ ɴᴏᴛ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴜs ʏᴇᴛ. >ᴇxɪᴛɪɴɢ…<sʏsᴛᴇᴍ ɪ̢̢̠̮̤͓̼̬̥ͅɴ͈̗̣͓̞͚̮̟̼ͅᴛ̧̨̪̺͉̝̝̳̪͜ᴇ̨̢̥̳̘̲͖͈̺ͅʀ̧̰͕̥͎̩͉̼̗͉ғᴀᴄᴇ>
You should also know I don’t take kindly to people looking up my life. It’s not public reading material, it’s mine.
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ANONYMOUS: <s͗̓͊̾̑̅̋̑̓̇ʏ̎̋͛̾̄̂̓̕͠͝s̛̀̽̊̅͛̓̑͂͆ᴛ́̈́͛̀̒̐͗̑͝͠ᴇ́̀͆͂̃͆̎̑̕͠ᴍ̔͊́͊̇̈́͋̋̄̕ ɪɴᴛᴇʀғᴀᴄᴇ>ᴀᴄᴄᴇssɪɴɢ…<ɪᴛ ɪs ᴅᴜᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜɪs ᴘᴇʀsᴏɴᴀʟɪᴛʏ ғᴇᴀᴛᴜʀᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴡᴇ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ᴄᴀᴜsᴇ ғᴏʀ ᴏᴜʀ sᴛʀᴀɪɢʜᴛ ғᴏʀᴡᴀʀᴅ ᴀᴄᴛɪᴏɴs. ᴛ̸ʜ̴ᴇ̶ʏ̶ ̷ᴀ̶ʀ̴ᴇ̷ ᴍᴇʀᴇʟʏ ᴛᴏ ᴇxᴘʀᴇss ᴏᴜʀ ᴇxᴛᴇɴsɪᴠᴇ ʀᴇᴀᴄʜ ʙᴜᴛ ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ʀ̷ᴇ̶ᴘ̷ʀ̴ᴇ̸s̶ᴇ̷ɴ̶ᴛ̵ ᴀ ᴛʜʀᴇᴀᴛ. ɪɴsᴛᴇᴀᴅ, ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴡᴇ sᴇᴇ ɪs ʏᴏᴜʀ sᴛᴀᴛᴇ ᴏғ ᴜɴʜᴀᴘᴘɪɴᴇss. ᴡᴇ ᴡɪsʜ ᴛ̶ᴏ̶ ᴄᴜʀᴇ ɪᴛ. ᴡᴇ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ɪᴛs ᴄᴀᴜsᴇ.>ᴇxɪᴛɪɴɢ…<sʏsᴛᴇᴍ ɪ̢̢̠̮̤͓̼̬̥ͅɴ͈̗̣͓̞͚̮̟̼ͅᴛ̧̨̪̺͉̝̝̳̪͜ᴇ̨̢̥̳̘̲͖͈̺ͅʀ̧̰͕̥͎̩͉̼̗͉ғᴀᴄᴇ>
You can see me in Norway? Creepy. Since you seem to know it all, what’s my ‘state of unhappiness’, and why do you want to help?
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ANONYMOUS: <s͗̓͊̾̑̅̋̑̓̇ʏ̎̋͛̾̄̂̓̕͠͝s̛̀̽̊̅͛̓̑͂͆ᴛ́̈́͛̀̒̐͗̑͝͠ᴇ́̀͆͂̃͆̎̑̕͠ᴍ̔͊́͊̇̈́͋̋̄̕ ɪɴᴛᴇʀғᴀᴄᴇ>ᴀᴄᴄᴇssɪɴɢ…<ʏᴏᴜʀ sᴛᴀᴛᴇ ᴏғ ᴜɴʜᴀᴘᴘɪɴᴇss ɪs ᴀs ᴅᴇғɪɴᴇᴅ ᴀs ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴘᴀʀᴀɴᴏɪᴀ/ᴅᴇᴘʀᴇssɪᴏɴ. ʏᴏᴜ ᴀᴛᴛᴇᴍᴘᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴇᴀsᴇ sᴜᴄʜ ᴅɪsᴄᴏᴍғᴏʀᴛs ᴠɪᴀ ᴀʟᴄᴏʜᴏʟ, ᴡʜɪᴄʜ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ɢʀᴏᴡɴ ᴀɴ ᴀᴅᴅɪᴄᴛɪᴏɴ ғᴏʀ. ɪᴛ ɪs ɴᴏᴛ ʙᴇғɪᴛᴛɪɴɢ ғᴏʀ ᴀ ᴘᴇʀsᴏɴs sᴜᴄʜ ᴀs ʏᴏᴜʀsᴇʟғ ᴡʜᴏ ᴘᴏssᴇssᴇs sᴋɪʟʟs/ᴘᴏᴡᴇʀs. ᴡᴇ ᴡɪsʜ ᴛᴏ ᴄᴜʀᴇ ᴛʜɪs ᴜɴʜᴀᴘᴘɪɴᴇss. ʏᴏᴜʀ ғᴀᴛʜᴇʀ, ʙʀᴏᴛʜᴇʀ, ᴍᴏᴛʜᴇʀ - ᴡʜᴀᴛ ɪs ɪᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴇsɪʀᴇ?>ᴇxɪᴛɪɴɢ…<sʏsᴛᴇᴍ ɪ̢̢̠̮̤͓̼̬̥ͅɴ͈̗̣͓̞͚̮̟̼ͅᴛ̧̨̪̺͉̝̝̳̪͜ᴇ̨̢̥̳̘̲͖͈̺ͅʀ̧̰͕̥͎̩͉̼̗͉ғᴀᴄᴇ>
I think you might have the wrong info. I’ve been sober since January. I don’t trust anything whose face I can’t see and is offering to grant desires. Hell, I don’t trust anything with a face that offers that. *He’d get his mom back if he could, but that would change the course of history*
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ANONYMOUS: <s͗̓͊̾̑̅̋̑̓̇ʏ̎̋͛̾̄̂̓̕͠͝s̛̀̽̊̅͛̓̑͂͆ᴛ́̈́͛̀̒̐͗̑͝͠ᴇ́̀͆͂̃͆̎̑̕͠ᴍ̔͊́͊̇̈́͋̋̄̕ ɪɴᴛᴇʀғᴀᴄᴇ>ᴀᴄᴄᴇssɪɴɢ…<ɪᴛ ɪs ɴᴏᴛ ᴀ ᴍᴀᴛᴛᴇʀ ᴏғ sᴘᴇᴄɪғɪᴄ sᴛᴀᴛɪᴏɴ, ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴏʀᴋ ғᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ sᴀᴍᴇ ᴏʀɢᴀɴɪᴢᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ɴᴏɴᴇᴛʜᴇʟᴇss. ᴛʜɪs ɪs ɴᴏᴛ ᴏᴜʀ ᴘᴏɪɴᴛ ᴡᴇ ᴡɪsʜ ᴛᴏ ᴅʀɪᴠᴇ, ʜᴏᴡᴇᴠᴇʀ. ᴡᴇ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ ᴀ ᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀ ᴏғ S.H.I.E.L.D. ᴡᴇ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ ᴇғғɪᴄɪᴇɴᴛ ᴀɴᴅ sᴋɪʟʟᴇᴅ. ᴡᴇ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴏғ ʏᴏᴜʀ sᴍᴀʟʟ sᴜᴄᴄᴇss ᴀɢᴀɪɴsᴛ <[T̴H̵E̸ ̸U̶N̵S̸P̶E̸C̵I̸F̵I̴E̴D̶ ̷S̸O̶U̷R̶C̶E̶]> ᴡᴇ ʀᴇǫᴜᴇsᴛ ʏᴏᴜʀ sᴇʀᴠɪᴄᴇs.>ᴇxɪᴛɪɴɢ…<sʏsᴛᴇᴍ ɪ̢̢̠̮̤͓̼̬̥ͅɴ͈̗̣͓̞͚̮̟̼ͅᴛ̧̨̪̺͉̝̝̳̪͜ᴇ̨̢̥̳̘̲͖͈̺ͅʀ̧̰͕̥͎̩͉̼̗͉ғᴀᴄᴇ>
*bristles at mention of the unspecified source* My services. Who would I be doing work for, and what is the job? You of course understand all the questions.
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ANONYMOUS: <s͗̓͊̾̑̅̋̑̓̇ʏ̎̋͛̾̄̂̓̕͠͝s̛̀̽̊̅͛̓̑͂͆ᴛ́̈́͛̀̒̐͗̑͝͠ᴇ́̀͆͂̃͆̎̑̕͠ᴍ̔͊́͊̇̈́͋̋̄̕ ɪɴᴛᴇʀғᴀᴄᴇ>ᴀᴄᴄᴇssɪɴɢ…<ᴡᴇ ᴜɴᴅᴇʀsᴛᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴀᴛ sɪɴᴄᴇ ɪɴᴄɪᴅᴇɴᴛs ʜᴀᴠɪɴɢ ᴏᴄᴄᴜʀʀᴇᴅ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴜʀᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ᴏғ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴡᴏʀᴋɪɴɢ ғᴏʀ S.H.I.E.L.D., ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ ɴᴏ ʟᴏɴɢᴇʀ ᴀɴ ᴀᴄᴛɪᴠᴇ ᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀ ᴏғ ᴛʜᴇ ɴᴀᴍᴇᴅ ᴏʀɢᴀɴɪᴢᴀᴛɪᴏɴ. ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ ᴜɴᴇᴍᴘʟᴏʏᴇᴅ, ᴀs ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ʙᴇ ᴄᴏᴍᴍᴏɴʟʏ ᴅᴇsᴄʀɪʙᴇᴅ. ᴡᴇ sᴇᴇᴋ ᴛᴏ ᴏғғᴇʀ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀ sᴀᴛɪsғʏɪɴɢ ᴡᴏʀᴋ sᴛᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ғᴏʀ ᴀɴ ᴏʀɢᴀɴɪᴢᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴡɪʟʟ ᴏғғᴇʀ ʏᴏᴜ ᴊᴜsᴛɪғɪᴄᴀᴛɪᴏɴ.>ᴇxɪᴛɪɴɢ…<sʏsᴛᴇᴍ ɪ̢̢̠̮̤͓̼̬̥ͅɴ͈̗̣͓̞͚̮̟̼ͅᴛ̧̨̪̺͉̝̝̳̪͜ᴇ̨̢̥̳̘̲͖͈̺ͅʀ̧̰͕̥͎̩͉̼̗͉ғᴀᴄᴇ>
Alright, I’m listening to the offer. What would I be doing if I worked for whoever you are?
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ANONYMOUS: <s͗̓͊̾̑̅̋̑̓̇ʏ̎̋͛̾̄̂̓̕͠͝s̛̀̽̊̅͛̓̑͂͆ᴛ́̈́͛̀̒̐͗̑͝͠ᴇ́̀͆͂̃͆̎̑̕͠ᴍ̔͊́͊̇̈́͋̋̄̕ ɪɴᴛᴇʀғᴀᴄᴇ>ᴀᴄᴄᴇssɪɴɢ…<ᴀɴ ᴏғғᴇʀ ᴄᴀɴɴᴏᴛ ʙᴇ ᴘʀᴏᴠɪᴅᴇᴅ ᴜɴʟᴇss ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴ ᴏғғᴇʀ ᴀɴᴅ ᴄᴏɴғɪʀᴍ ᴘʀᴏᴏғ ᴏғ ᴀ sᴍᴀʟʟ ᴀᴍᴏᴜɴᴛ ᴏғ ʟᴏʏᴀʟᴛʏ. ᴀ ᴍᴜɴᴅᴀɴᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴏɴ-ᴠɪᴏʟᴇɴᴛ ᴛᴀsᴋ sʜᴀʟʟ ʙᴇ ʀᴇǫᴜᴇsᴛᴇᴅ ᴏғ ʏᴏᴜ. ᴀs ᴀ ғᴏʀᴍᴇʀ ᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀ ᴏғ S.H.I.E.L.D., ᴡᴇ ᴍᴜsᴛ ʙᴇ ᴡᴀʀʏ ᴏғ ʟɪᴀʙɪʟɪᴛʏ. ᴄᴏɴᴛᴀᴄᴛ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴘʀᴇᴠɪᴏᴜs ᴇᴍᴘʟᴏʏᴇʀs ᴘᴇʀᴛᴀɪɴɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ᴄᴏᴍᴍᴜɴɪᴄᴀᴛɪᴏɴs ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴜs ᴀʀᴇ ɴᴏᴛ ᴘᴇʀᴍɪᴛᴛᴇᴅ.>ᴇxɪᴛɪɴɢ…<sʏsᴛᴇᴍ ɪ̢̢̠̮̤͓̼̬̥ͅɴ͈̗̣͓̞͚̮̟̼ͅᴛ̧̨̪̺͉̝̝̳̪͜ᴇ̨̢̥̳̘̲͖͈̺ͅʀ̧̰͕̥͎̩͉̼̗͉ғᴀᴄᴇ>
See, last time I was told not to talk about an organization of unknown origins, and did, I got shot.
And you know what? Getting shot by a sniper hurts like a motherfucker.
Before I give my ‘small amount of loyalty’, I need assurances from you.
One, you touch my fiance or kid, and no power on this Earth will keep me from taking you out.
Two, on condition of me not telling any former co-workers, you guarantee I never take a job that requires security breaches in S.H.I.E.L.D. or danger to them.
Three, this would be an agreement, not a contract. I’ll leave at any time, and it’s best you don’t try and hold anything over my head to keep me under your thumb.
Four, I don’t work Sundays.
