#silasgraves

the treehouse was old, and was in a state of disrepair like the rest of the house. the wood was old, nails missing. there was no way it was safe to climb that board ladder and honestly, sevyn wondered if it ever was. she never knew her grandfather, so there were a lot of unanswered questions. was he a handyman? did he build it himself, or did he hire someone? did silas help? or her mom? her aunts? whenever she asked about simon, they always got that haunted look in their eyes. she stopped asking a long time ago. she hoped that whoever built the treehouse knew what they were doing.

scarlet didn't remember it being this cold. she had turned the thermostat up one degree, and then two. another and then another. she stopped at seventy two because anything higher than that seemed excessive. at the restaurant, she always wore short sleeved blouses because she spent so much of her time cooking on the stovetop or pulling things out of the ovens. she was used to that kind of heat in the kitchen. she was cooking now, but the heat did nothing to warm the ice in her veins. she pulled the oven door open and a chill ran down her spine. rolling her shoulders, she pulled the fresh baked loaf of bread out of the oven and slid the pan on top of the stove. she hung the oven mitt ( the same one her mother had always used ) up on it's hook and turned the oven off, even though she didn't really want to. she felt like turning it off was removing the only source of heat in the whole house. it was july in virginia, there was no reason for it to be that cold outside or inside the house.

PICTURES, DISHES AND SOCKS. eight years down to one box. they went through every room of their house, their home, together and separate until they got to this moment. it was all jasper could bring himself to keep, out of everything they went through. even his clothes were too heavy to carry, each shirt soaked through with the memories of their relationship. they would go into storage with everything else. they agreed to pay for a year of the unit in full through the end of the calendar year so they could each get settled into their new homes. their new lives away from each other.

"i think that's it," he said, breaking the silence when it got too loud. he finally lifted his gaze from the box to look silas' way. he almost wished he hadn't. almost. he set the box down on the bed, still unmade from the last time they slept in it together like a time capsule of the end of their relationship. he couldn't bring himself to make it, and neither could silas. they didn't sleep in it either, hadn't for a long time. the divorce was a long time coming. he ran a hand over his facial hair that was too long to pass for a five o'clock shadow. it was wild and unkempt, a far cry from the clean cut he was used to.

icarus flew too close to the sun, and their marriage paid the price, going up in flames and burying jasper and silas in the ashes of love lost. he didn't know who made the move, but suddenly they were standing face to face, an arms length away from each other. jasper could reach out and touch him if he wanted to, and god did he want to. he wanted nothing more than to wrap silas up in a hug and take all his pain away. he tried to do that for a long time, but it was never enough. he was never enough. he couldn't fix his husband— his ex husband, but he tried, and he tried, and he tried, until he couldn't anymore. until he realized that silas didn't want to be fixed.

he studied his lover, taking in the every tired line etched into his beautiful face, the dark circles shaded under his eyes in permanent marker. he was paler now, face gaunt, hair greying more every day. physical signs that he was fighting demons jasper couldn't even begin to understand. he couldn't take it anymore. he gave in, closing the gap between them. he wrapped both arms around silas hugging him for seconds or minutes, weeks could have passed in that moment and he would have been none-the-wiser. time stopped moving when they embraced for what he could feel in his bones would be the last time. when he finally pulled away, his nose brushed against the other's before he selfishly went in for one last kiss — a goodbye kiss that wasn't his to take. / @silasgraves

"i tried to read your new book." sabine offers it like it's an olive branch. a plea to 'please forget about what i said after the divorce'. she should have known better than to joke about representing jasper. it didn't matter that by that point he had become family. or was easier to keep in touch with than her brother. "it was really good - spooky." which truthfully was not her forte.

sabine leans over to turn on a lamp, trying to bring more light into the space. "i plan on finishing it so don't spoil anything!" she bit her lip, trying to gauge his expression. "i - uh - just kept having this weird dream about one of the characters." she tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, smoothing out her trousers. "i imagined him as one of the spectators in the court. it's was a big case and i couldn't spare any more restless nights i'm afraid."