#signed; fa

Prometheus, first punishee of mine

For your ears were deaf to my words divine

I will miss you, ‘till it is time to dine

The pain will blind you, ‘till you grow a spine

I am your mountain, I am your hawk

I am the beak piercing skin, I am chained rock

By sharp reminder, you are made aware-

Though you are bound to me, I am not there

I weave everything, from nothing at all

Deaf to silence, you refuse my call

The pain blinded you, then you grew a spine

Gladly and rightfully, you rebroke mine

My dearest Atlas, my longest captive

Sweet on my tongue, the most addictive

Dead in foreign tracks, the least reactive

My weight will crush you, as long as I live

The sky on your back, the ground beneath you

A pressure far greater, than you were due

I am both, your most omnipresent ache

A punishment, for your torturer’s sake

I waste everything, from nothing at all

Deaf from screaming, you refuse my call

The pressure choked you, then you chose to live

Gladly and rightfully, refused which I give

Sweet Sisyphus, oh, how you have suffered

So sweet, we both were, until I soured

You promised, then realised – and tired

This isn’t the fate, for which you scoured

Do you not love the heights, to which we go?

Aren’t they worth going a little low?

Push me up again, up our little hill

I am it and the boulder, you push still

I ruin everything, from nothing at all

Deaf to pleading, you refuse my call

The cycle trapped you, at last, you broke out

Gladly and rightfully, chose life without

I lose everything, from nothing at all

Doomed by silence, screaming, pleading – it all

For the living out there, buyer beware

A pink, boiling broth, cooking in my skull

A white sea of froth, gushes from my mouth

A steam so foul, escapes without sound

Like a white howl, preceding a cull

Genocide of rhyme, and death of reason

Growing less seasoned, with every season

Purge predictable, kill all your patterns

The you that breathes, yearns, the you still stable

All inspiration, comes in hulking waves

Drowns all elation, it crushes and caves

Annihilates mind, unravels fingers

I drag myself forward, a shambling mound of flesh I can’t speak at all, with my tongue of ash I drag myself forward, driven by starvation Fingers in splinters, teeth half for decoration

I drag myself forward, shedding tears, blood and hair Every little breath brings far too much air I drag myself forward, each step bringing a crack A snap of the bone, and solace’s lack

I drag myself forward, heaving ever-dead weight Too heavy to bear, not enough to sate I drag myself forward, crushed by that left behind Heavy on the flesh, more, still, on the mind

I drag myself forward, try to drag you along Just so your misery, I can prolong I drag myself forward, only your hand in tow Fruitless labour snapped the branch that hangs low

I drag myself forward, a shambling mound of flesh Words, thoughts, the lack of either – the worst lash I drag myself forward, driven by naught, so I Wish I could lie down and finally…

I drag myself forward, despite that, it all Deny you that joy: the lack of my call I drag myself forward, whether I want to, or not I shall stumble forward until I rot

A thrumming hum

Sounds through my skull

I close my eyes

Inhale.

Exhale.

Inhale.

Exhale.

Inhale.

Exhale.

I don’t want to, anymore

Exhale.

Exhale.

Exhale.

A hate that exists only in love

A love that festers, grows in hate

I guess: As below, so above

I twist to find reason, to sate

So if the metaphor is found lacking

If my feet finally find no purchase

Do not blame me, for my rabid scrambling

For I myself struggle to find a rhyme

Maybe I shouldn’t try to

Maybe I shouldn’t love, too

Maybe I shouldn’t love you

Maybe I shouldn’t try to

Do you spite the acid, that I bleed?

Burning through your claws, and through your skin

I know, I know, it’s not what you need

But not by my hand, does the knife sink in

I don’t want to explain the meaning

Even as my cracked teeth find purchase

Selfishly, I crave understanding

Even though I don’t know the next verse

Why orbit, that which devours you?

You are stripped of light in its presence

Now, realise, I am starting to

I'm the one place where you don’t care for effervescence

So if the metaphor is found lacking

If my feet finally find no purchase

Do not blame me

Beautiful visions – of things so far away

I can see

Wonderful lesions – fragile, pale skin, they splay

Such delightful sobs – painting a mouth’s inside

Tear from me

This wondrous mind's throbs – an echo of words cried

Skin decorated – with home-made handiwork

Look at me

Designed, created – with every jab and quirk

Gorgeous gaze snaps to – things that haven’t been

Can’t you see?

Pretty hands snap too – under the weight of sin

Not sick, not at all – but deliciously ill

You tell me

Swallow down it all – all the things one can feel

This pretty sight, made – spun with fingers so frail

You can’t see

Prettier eyes laid – upon their work, their ail

A flash so ugly – shedding unwanted light

You give me

What is, “truly” – can’t be happy, nor right

That beautiful call – the beckon that I crave

I... can’t see

Anything at all – to soothe, to help, to save

With nothing to do – to soothe, to help, to live

You leave me

Stars

Stars light up the sky, blazing points of light searing holes through the inky black void. You can’t look away from them.

You try.

You can’t move your neck. Nor any other part of your body. You are suspended in the air, slowly descending, you realise, as feeling rushes into your fetid flesh – and with it, comes agony.

Stars light up the sky, blazing points of light searing holes through the inky black void. You can’t look away from them.

You would twist and writhe if you could. Pain blossoms from wide, thick, cylindrical points – piercing your body. Even as your wounds gape, opening, as if trying to breathe – trying to fruitlessly escape from the source of hot misery – the searing rods cauterise your flesh, grafting it to themselves in a fight against gravity and your own dead weight.

Are you still trying?

You lie, unmoving, at the whim of your prison. You cannot even attempt to thrash. Weakness, disuse, inability, it does not matter. You are unable; a hanging piece of meat, trapped due to shortcoming, circumstance, or destiny. It does not change anything.

You wonder if your suffering goes unnoticed. You realise it is ignored. For those who care have come. They hold no love for who you once were, but for who – what – you are now, they love you most. And they show their love, as they sink their teeth into you, and as their beaks tear chunks off of your liver. Worms curl in your stomach, and maggots dig through your chest. They know what to avoid, to keep you alive, to keep you fresh.

Even they dare not relieve you of your suffering. It would be antithetical to them; that you know. And yet you hope that one eats away at the charred, cooked meat latching onto the fiery pillars of pain, keeping you aloft, in place. Keeping you from reprieve. They don’t. They shred your eyelids, but spare your eyes – for they would not rob you of the sight of your own reflection. The blazing stars pierce the night sky just as they pierce your dead eyes, just as the rods pierce your sick flesh.

Stars light up the sky, blazing points of light searing holes through the inky black void. You can’t look away from them.

Do you feel acceptance? Resigned to your fate as you are; do you enjoy the morbid, even as it tears you apart? Or is that familiarity in your eyes? Do you feel kinship, with something vast, unmoving, seemingly unfeeling? Something so painfully impaled and tortured by sharp, scorching points? Something that, just in its presence, in its unlife, provides life to countless? That is only for you to think of, perhaps, in your oozing skull, torn apart and boiling with mush. That is only for you to feel, perhaps, in your barely beating heart, pumping the little viscous blood still left in your veins.

What is it? What is it, please tell me

What is it in them all, that you see?

Are they a prettier shade of green?

Please tell me, the way for me to be

Never is my side, the most verdant

Of them, you are the most observant

Do they glow brighter – with greener sheen?

Please, love me- I... will be your servant

After the lowest lows, highest highs

Why, only now, do I realise-

You never wanted, never loved green

I was never held dear, in your eyes

I look away, but my eyes, too green

Only let everyone else be seen

That you love me, I can never glean

Did you know? A tiny bit of poison is-

More medicinal, than it is poisonous!

Did you know? You aren’t doing all too well

Would you like some of the... medicine I sell?

Did you know? A little bit of poison is-

Making you so happy! Why, you seem in bliss!

Did you know? You aren’t doing as bad, now!

Upping the dosage would surely help... somehow!

Did you know? A little more of poison is-

Above what the recommended dosing is!

Did you know? You aren’t doing all that bad

But... if you stop now, I will be oh, so sad

Did you know? A big amount of poison is-

Well, bad! But I am sure we can salvage this!

Did you know? You aren’t doing... amazing

Well, yeah, I know, this looks like overdosing

Did you know? Any amount of poison is-

At the end of the day, simply poisonous

Did I know? Of course, but you tried to argue

A little bit of noxious proof... you were due

Did you know? A large bottle of poison is-

Just what I am: Too much of me? Poisonous!

Did you know? You got just what you asked for