"Can you guys smell my gloves" they are so WEIRD

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"Can you guys smell my gloves" they are so WEIRD

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somebody hold me i’m crashing out
WHAT
Sorry, but as a non Canadian whose from the Pacific Northwest and thus has only interacted with Vancouverites, what the fuck is a Toronto accent and what’s the difference between it and a Newmarket one?
Okay answer as serious as I can make it sound: BC/Vancouver English is genuinely phonetically different from Ontario/Toronto English in a few ways -- Ontario across the board has stronger effect of more "stereotypical" Canadian accent features such as:
Canadian raising (before unvoiced consonants, au- and ai- diphthongs (think "house" or "writer") are a "higher" vowel than before voiced ones (ex. "writer" and "rider" have two different vowels to me))*
Oo- fronting (pushing "forward" of the vowel)
/ae/ raising (making "bag" closer to rhyming with "maid") before g (think saying baygel?)
There's a few other ones but I'm on mobile and it's 1am and they're a lot more like... linguistic jargony... if you are interested pls review the "Canadian Shift" on your own time i barely understand it myself 😭😭😭
*Other Non-Canadian regions in the area (American Great Lakes) or ancestral regions (parts of the British Isles) will sometimes do one of these shifts (either ai- or au-) but only Canada does both
Functionally Newmarket and Toronto probably have similar enough accents that they're indistinguishable unless you are going IN with the audio software but I am a Vibes Man and to me they're different. I can't explain it but they are. I can tell when someone has gone between Bloor and Castle Frank on the subway organically or not it's the vibe

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i& was just thinking this &. ngl the corsicans have the potential to be the funniest fucking family. like in terms of memes. we got uranos corsica aka mr sandy claws the guy that nobody fucking likes & needs to go to bed. we got bernardo who's the resident rich boy twink thot w/ shades on. we got svetlana resident military bad bitch w/ afro indigenous magic ( ik her personally ). we got victor who literally looks like everyone's math teacher except he's russian & is 10000% done w/ everyone's shit. we got georgiana the mom friend who is Also 10000% done w/ everyone's shit & gets her kids out of trouble. we got worick the local himbo manwhore king aka the ken of the corsicas who's also the double agent & is out here pissing everybody off. we got the destroyers - striker aka the baddest dude in the family who's also like obsessed & unhinged & has BPD but everybody loves anyway except for worick bc everytime they see each other It's On Sight TM, beretta aka the baddest bitch in ergastulum & local resident NPD bisexual witchy goth sex worker mom, sig aka The HPD Party Girl TM who likes to do all the most unspeakable acts known to man, & colt aka the Local Autistic ASPD Goth Eboy TM who's just. literally vibing this entire time & just wants to pet cats in peace gdi. we got ( in an au ) minimi & maverick aka Local Vincian Gay Arsonist Dude Who Likes Money & Naps & Also Lighting Shit On Fire TM & maverick who's the Local Cryptid Beauty Queen Traumatized Schizophrenic Indigenous Lesbian Who Has A Sword & Endless Female Rage TM. we got ivan, erica & mikhail, aka another guy that nobody fucking likes, the Sad Unhinged Girl TM & the Horror Child TM. we got sidney & evelyn the local baddies & the other bad bitches. like. this is literally steaming w/ meme material. they're kinda iconic ngl.
TEXT 📲 SIDBRINA
SIDNEY: Sammy is barely bigger than my hand.
SIDNEY: I just want her to stay this small forever.