#sickjock

I don't even know who I'm writing to anymore. Its not that I feel alone, its that I have so many people who are close to me, so I guess I'll write three individual letters.

Dear Kenny,

Holy shit. Three years goes BH faster than you think. I remember freshman year when we first started talking. It was only during lunch, and it was only because Clyde and Stan had other people to speak to, so we either shut up or talked to each other all hour. Then we got the same classes, and then we cut those classes together. I don't remember when we started seeing each other outside of that hell hole. I just know that when we did the first thing we did was illegal, and we got arrested on night one. For a while I wondered if being around you was a good idea, but I'm happy I chose to stay, because now you're my everything and I wouldn't change it for the world. I love you so much and I know I'm bad at showing it, but I do.

Dear Clyde

Again, holy shit. How long has it even been? Since third grade, maybe even before. I remember when we were insperable from elementary through middle school. And then high school happened and its like you ascended to this high place way above my social status. I guess I always knew it'd happen. Everyone always liked you more. I'm a sidekick, and that's okay, because as long as you're there, its alright. But lately you're gone. I don't know why and maybe its just our time to drift apart or something, the way Token and Tweek have left. But I miss you. And I wish I could fix whatever I did, or whatever I'm doing to make you refrain from talking to me the way you do. I domt know. I feel kind of alone.

Dear Stan,

Send ✆ for a morning text

[txt: clydesdale] rise and shine homo

[txt: clydesdale] grab a bowl of honey nut feelios

Send ♔ for an angry text

[txt: clydesdale] what the FUCK dude i told you not to tell anyone

[txt: clydesdale] how did butters find out?? HM?? i cant believe this

Send ♠ for a drunk text

[txt: clydesdale]  ii e eeee cld ydo

[txt: clydesdale] di d u eve r notice? ? ? ur last name is like . . 50 prcent voweL ?? holy SHIT

Send ☏ for a vague text

[txt: clydesdale] i dont know what to think…

Send ⁇ for a worried text

[txt: clydesdale] hey dude! uh, i havent seen you around school lately??

[txt: clydesdale] is everything okay? are you sick? i could come over and bring your missed work if you want.

Send ♣ for a text not meant for you

[txt: clydesdale]  for the last fucking time FLUTTERSHY IS THE BEST PONY

[txt: clydesdale] oh

[txt: clydesdale] hi clyde : )

Send ✺for a saucy text

[txt: clydesdale] hey baby

[txt: clydesdale] marinara

Send √ for a long winded confessing text 

[txt: clydesdale] alright fuck it im done with thinking this over and over and over again im just going to say it. i dont know what to do. i dont want to fuck up our relationship as it stands right now by being awkward around you so im going to say it right now that im not mad or uncomfortable im just.. ive got a lot on my mind right now.

Send ☠ for misguided advice

[txt: clydesdale] you know how karma works right, you do something good, something good happens to you like three fold??

[txt: clydesdale] so if you gave me 20 bucks rn, karma would give you like 60 bucks back.

Send ☢ for a desperate text

[txt: clydesdale] clyde. 

[txt: clydesdale] clyde ple ase answer i need you right now

[txt: clydesdale] shelly locked m e out of the house 

[txt: clydesdale] its cold and i only have my pajamas on

Send ☼ for a congratulatory text

[txt: clydesdale] holy fuck man, you did it

[txt: clydesdale] youve finally surpassed craigs level of gay

[txt: clydesdale] you did it man you made it, you climbed that brokeback mountain