#sibling angst

you couldn't bare to look at luke when he walked into the room. he once had been your friend. now he had become something you had been trained to fight your entire life.

you moved your body, pulling at the restraints that held you back. if you had just been free, luke wouldn't be looking down at you, grinning like a fucking asshole.

"we don't want to hurt you" he said, carefully sinking down on a bench across from you.

"sure" you huffed as you looked around the small room. it was nothing short of a prison. "really looks like i'm just here, because you missed my company so much, castellan"

he leaned back against the wall, furrowing an eyebrow. "so we're back to last names then?" he concluded. "and i did miss your company, although that isn't the reason you're here now"

"oh, really?" you muttered under your breath.

"we need something from you" luke continued. "and you're gonna give it to us. after that you can leave, but i think when you hear the deal i'm about to make, you probably won't want to"

"what's that supposed to mean?"

"we need your blood" he explained. "to activate kronos' weapon. if you give it to us, you're free to go"

"are you really that fucking stupid?" you shook your head. "go ahead and kill me if you need my blood so desperately"

"that's the problem" luke countered. "we need you alive. the weapon will know that you've died, which will make your blood worthless. but i have something to give you in return"

"oh, so you are that stupid" you nodded reserved. "because if you really think that you could just buy me like that—"

"we aren't trying to buy you" luke shook his head, laughing about the way he knew so much more than you. "not really"

"what then?" you spat, rattling the chains that held you back against the wall. "this doesn't seem like a warm welcome"

"if you help us" luke said. "kronos promises to spare percy"

you laughed humorlessly. "you're really using my brother against me now?"

"percy might be one hell of a soldier, but when kronos turns to him, which he will, he won't be one much longer" he shrugged. "what i'm giving you is a chance of survival for your little brother. all of that in return for you joining our cause. no chains, no threats, just your blood for his life" he concluded. "if you think about it, it's a deal you can't refuse"

you looked at him with as much disgust in your gaze as you could muster.

"you might not understand it" he said as he noticed the look on your face. "but what we're trying to do isn't as wrong as you think"

"that doesn't automatically make it right"

"no, it doesn't" luke admitted. "but when did gods ever care about that? when did they ever took time and thought, is it really the right thing to send a child into a war for a battle that has nothing to do with them?"

"i didn't say the gods were always acting right, but.."

"but what?" luke interrupted. "they're supposed to be the good ones, so their result of constant fighting and innocent blood is just ought to be that?"

"i don't know" you muttered. "i don't have a perfect solution for everything, i just know what i grew up on"

"for me, that wasn't enough anymore" luke sighed, before rising to his feet and crossing the room in just a second. "i'll give you time to think"

"luke" you called finally, when he was already half out the door. "i'll do it, okay? just promise me you will spare percy's life, whatever happens"

"whatever happens" luke nodded with a smile, satisfied that he would be the one to deliver the news to kronos and gain more respect from his leader.

——————————————————————————

the air was full of smoke. it smelled like blood and death and like everything you had dreaded welcoming you since you had been captured by luke castellan and the rest of the traitors.

you had done everything that had been asked of you, but not without always recounting the promise luke had given you.

you didn't care what happened to yourself as long as percy would be safe.

he was a strong soldier, just like luke had said himself, but you weren't naïve enough to believe that he could survive kronos just like that. he needed every bit of help he could get.

what was your life against that of your little brother? the person you loved most in the world.

your grip on the sword tigthened as the air in front of you cleared. it was quiet around you, too quiet.

you had no idea where luke was, or any of the others. you were just about to turn around and get the hell out of there, when a figure appeared in front of you, his body only illuminated by weak lights of the early morning.

"percy" you breathed, your voice not much more than a weak whisper.

percy opened his mouth, eyeing you up and down, his gaze finally landing on the sword in your right hand, before his eyes jumped back to your face. "we thought you were dead"

he looked taller than the last time you had seen him, you couldn't tell if something else had changed as it was way too dark.

how long had it been since you luke and the traitors captured you? a few weeks or months even?

percy answered the question without you having to ask. "you were gone for almost two years, y/n" he stepped closer.

the light hit his face and your heart almost broke in half. his hair had grown thicker, the blonde curls framing his face. his face had changed too. the freckles weren't as prominent as they had been when he was twelve. he looked grown, too grown to still be considered your little brother.

"years?" you repeated. "no, it can't—"

"years" percy interrupted, nodding. "and now what, you're with him? are you fighting against us?"

"percy, no" you shook your head. you raised your hand, about to touch his cheek, when he stepped away from you.

"i don't trust you" he spat and tears rose in your eyes.

"i'm your sister" you said, trying your best to remind him. every day and every night during your capture, the image of percy's face had kept you going, whenever you had felt like giving up, the promise of him surviving had made you strong again.

"no" percy shook his head. "my sister died two years ago"

you furrowed your brows in disbelief, a pleading expression on your face. "no, they took me, percy." you argued, your voice almost breaking. "please, you have to believe me! i did all of this for—"

"me" luke finished. he suddenly appeared out of the shadows behind you, his hands gripping your waist and pulling your back against him. "hello, percy"

percy raised riptide, even more distrust building in his eyes. "let go of her" he spat.

your eyes softened. percy didn't trust you enough to believe you, but some part of him still loved you enough to try and protect you.

"no, no" luke tsked, shaking his head as if he was seriously hurt by percy's words. "let's not be so hostile, hm?"

"y/n" percy said, his voice heavy. "what is this?"

"i—" luke nudged your side, interrupting you. your eyes wandered to the side of his face, before they fixed back on your brother. "i can't talk about it" you finished.

"y/n, please" percy said, his eyes full of betrayal. "you wanted me to believe you. make me, come on" you could see the inner turmoil in him. not only in his voice, but his face too.

his mind did everything it could to reject you, but some part of him, just wanted to throw his arms around his big sister, who he had believed to be dead all this time.

you bit your lip, trying your best to hold back the tears. "i can't" you said once more, looking to the ground.

you could feel luke's smile beside you, he nudged you once more, maybe to tell you that you were doing great or something. you felt everything but great.

"come on, y/n" luke said, pulling your away. "let's go" he threw a look to percy over your shoulder. "say goodbye to your sister, percy"

"no" percy tried pleading.

"goodbye, percy" you said, before he had the chance to add anything.

"if you leave now, you'll never be my sister again" percy screamed after you. "because if you're with him, then you're against me"

you swallowed, not able to look at him, at his raspy voice and his hurtful words bounced off your back.

"i'm sorry" you whispered to yourself. shadows and smoke curled around your and luke's retreating body. you begged that percy wouldn't come, that he would stay right where he was, just believing that you had chosen a different side in this war.

"y/n!" his voice was close, too close.

and here, it wasn't safe. not for someone like him, the great percy jackson, that would lead half-bloods into a war priced with betrayal and death.

"percy, go back to the others" you said, swerving around to him. luke's hand slipped from your waiste. "you're not safe on your own"

luke had promised you, but you wouldn't take any chances.

percy opened his mouth to retort something, but a loud bang interrupted him. your eyes shot up.

you saw the arrows fly thrugh the shadow and the mist, the ashed and smoke that burned over the battlefield. but it wasn't supposed to be here, not so far away from the actual fight. not so close to your bother.

with one swift motion, you pushed percy behind your back. there wasn't enough time to move out of the way, but enough to save him, still.

you were sure that you should've felt it. if not from the thing itself, then at least from the scream that left percy's mouth. a mix of surprise and unimaginable dread and pain, like he had an arrow stuck inside of him.

but it wasn't him. it was you.

you stumbled back against percy, falling to the ground almost immediately, as he did his best to stabilize you.

luke had turned back around at percy's scream. his eyes filled with anger, he gripped his sword, walking forward into the smoke as he screamed for who had shot.

percy's hand pressed to the wound. you should've felt his touch, or the unimaginable pain admitted through the pressure on the open bloodwound, but you didn't.

your eyes wandered to your stomach. it was indeed an horrendous sight.

"hey" percy said loudly, as your eyes threatened to close. "don't you dare" he pressed harder, or atleast it looked like it. "you chose him, you chose them...why would you save me?” his voice cracked, desperate.

you wanted to tell him everything. that you had never chosen kronos. that luke had forced you, that every terrible thing you’d done was to protect him. that you had bargained your own soul away so percy might live long enough to see a life beyond the war. long enough, that his sisters betrayal would be a forgotten line in history one day.

but no words came. only blood, so much blood. percy's hand was already drenched in it. so was your shirt and the ground beneath you.

percy shook you harder. “stay with me! answer me! why would you—”

your eyes closed.

and that was all. no explanation. no forgiveness.

nothing you had to offer percy jackson in the last few seconds of your life, even though you wanted to tell him so much more, the truth being one of them, but by far not the most important thing.

you wanted to tell him that you loved him, that you had always loved him and that your love for him had always been the thing to move you forward.

you wanted to tell him to be good, to be brave. to bring an end to the fighting.

tell him that he was a hero, yes, but that it was also okay to just be percy for once. a brave kid, someone people would like to be friends with, someone loyal and kind and your little brother.

you didn't say any of those things.

you left him in a time of dispair, on a battlefield that he was far too young to know.

and he would never love you again.

but maybe the love you had was enough for the both of you. enough love to last for a lifetime.