#siab updates

As the tldr said, the main reason for my lack of posts is just my hyperfixations changing. Keeping passion for one project when something new and enticing is placed right infront of me is a really difficult thing I struggle with. I’m admittedly self diagnosed with ADHD and possibly other stuff (ADHD dose have a history in my family and I’ve been doing tests and comparing symptoms for years, I’m self diagnosed because I just haven’t scheduled a proper appointment, I will soon though), and so because of that I’m very unmedicated. Keeping my focus to one topic for an extended period is a near impossible task for me, I flit between overpowering hyperfixations every month or so (this year over been from object shows, to dandy’s world, to Regretevator, to forsaken, to Limbus company) and I struggle to maintain the same passion for other interests at the same time. And as you can imagine, my collage finals were also coming up and I was being so absolutely overtaken by my hyperfixation that my project was stagnant until I was able to hastily restart the entire thing so I could revolve it around my hyperfixation. It’s not that I don’t want to work on this comic, I still think about it, a lot actually. I love these characters and this story and I so badly want to get it out there for others to see, but it’s so hard to start it when my brain is being pulled in all sorts of directions all at once.

Another thing I’ve been struggling with is the feeling of my own inexperience and inadequacy to properly convey the things I have in mind into comic form. I’ve barely studied backgrounds, I know almost nothing about comic structure or composition. And trying to find my footing with all these different things is incredibly daunting, I just don’t know where to start with it all. All of that on top of the whole hyperfixation issue has made it really difficult and frustrating for me to actually start this comic. I’ve told myself that I don’t have to script it all out in one go, I know my story beats, I know what I’m doing, not everything needs to be 100% fleshed out for me to start. I’m just a chronic overthinker who wants to seem like an artist who planed out every part of their symbolism and deep story beats all from the beginning. I greatly aspire to be a writer like that, and I think that’s another thing that’s lead me into a bit of a road block with this comic. My inexperience. The idea that artist should work on a smaller project before the dream is something I’m technically doing with this comic, I have a completely different non warriors comic that’s the dream to write. But this project is starting to feel more and more like a bigger project than I can manage, and less like my first full comic series to test the waters. Yeah, I could take a step back from this comic to make something to be a real test, but that mean starting from scratch and making a new project from the ground up that could just end up cycling back into the same issue I’m having with this comic!

All in all, I want to start small. Wanting my first proper post with these characters to be a fully completed comic page feels like a massively daunting task. I feel like I don’t understand these characters as much as I should, so I’m going to use this character asks segment to help me characterise them. Give the whole world a lot more life. I’m also hoping this will spark back a hyperfixation for this comic and get me pumped to work on it!!

I will note that I am on holiday right now, for the next week and a half. Idk how often I’ll be updating, but I’ll try to make it frequent! I’m just a tad burnt out and disoriented being in a new place and I’m kinda struggling to settle despite being here for a week already! (I’m in Orlando incase you’re curious! It’s nice, but I kinda struggle with holidays abroad lol)