#sia.inks

“A pleasant morning to every one of you, dear students. I’d like to congratulate each of you for successfully surviving the academic year,” The chairwoman smiles at the students, her gaze scanning the crowd to admire the anticipation written across their faces, “Ah, the look on your faces makes me feel more excited to finally reveal the exceptional students who took over this school year’s challenges.”

“Ready?” The chairwoman asks and the crowd cheers, she nods at them, pulling down the curtains to unveil the names on the bulletin board. She then walks over to Caelus, causing the students to erupt into a yell, “Congratulations, Caelus, you’ve done your very best and emerged as the top student this year.” The chairwoman offers him a handshake, handing him a certificate. 

Aventurine snickers beside you and whispers into your ear playfully, his breath lightly tickling your ear and sending a shiver down your spine, “Looks like I’ve won our bet. Told ‘ya he’ll dominate the rankings.”

The screams of the crowd break you out of your thoughts and you see the chairwoman heading towards you and Aventurine’s spot. “Is she walking towards us?” You turn your head to take a glance behind you and see no one. Aventurine simply chuckles as the chairwoman stops in front of you, “This is quite a surprise.”

“Congratulations to you too, for placing second this year.” The chairwoman extends her hand to you, which you dumbfoundedly take as she hands you your hard-earned certificate.

“Thank you, Madam!” You give her the widest smile you have and bow. The crowd cheers once more as the chairwoman returns to her spot at the front.

The chairwoman clears her throat to get everyone’s attention, “With that, I’d like to formally announce the dance recital we’ll be holding next month.” You hold your breath, waiting for her to continue with the announcement, “Aside from the group performances, the top two outstanding students this year shall be responsible for the closing act together. Thus, they won’t be participating in any other performances. They will focus solely on creating a dance routine together without the help of others.”

The announcement elicits various reactions from the students, some gasp in surprise, some squeal in excitement, and some frown as their hopes of participating in the closing act get crushed. “Just like every other year, you are given the authority to choose the songs. Those are all for the announcements. I wish you all a pleasant day ahead!” She smiles then points at you and Caelus, “The two of you, come with me.” 

The crowd whistles but all Aventurine hears is the loud thumping of his heartbeat. He feels something well up inside him, an unpleasant feeling that makes him scared and anxious. “Can you wait for me?” Aventurine hears your voice, breaking him out of his stupor.

“Definitely.” He nods, smiling as you follow the department chair into her office. He sees the silver-haired man shake your hand as he congratulates you for your hard work. He rolls his eyes at the sight.

Soon enough, the noise in the hallway immediately drowns from the sound of your mellifluous laughter. He raises his head from his phone and sees you walking with the silver hair. His eyes unconsciously roll again at the sight before him. Caelus catches the annoyed look on his face and widens his smile at you moreso, speaking loud enough for the blonde to overhear. “It seems that your friend has been waiting quite a long time.”  

The emphasis on the word ‘friend’ makes him sick in the stomach.

You simply chuckle in response, “Aventurine! Were you bored?” You jog up to him with Caelus trailing behind. “You see, the chairwoman is looking forward to this year’s annual grand recital. I guess we’ll be heading home together less often in preparations.” A frown makes its way to your face, feeling slightly disappointed about the reduced time with him, “Did you make up your mind on which genre you’ll participate in?”

“I haven’t. No need to worry about it though.” He smiles at you. Caelus notices the fond look in the blonde’s eyes and decides to push his buttons more.

“I hope you don’t mind them spending most of their time with me the following weeks.” The silver hair smirks at him with a glint of mischief present in his gaze. The tone of his voice makes him feel humiliated for some unknown reason and he bites back the snarky remark he wants to say.

“But of course, I know the two of you will do absolutely well.” He gives him a tight-lipped smile as he grabs your arm, dragging you to his side. “If you’ll excuse us. We already made plans today.” 

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Weeks pass and Aventurine feels slightly lonely—terribly lonely without you since you barely see each other due to your busy schedules. With the recital being just around the corner, the only times you get to be together are during stage rehearsals with everyone and the texts gradually become less frequent. Aventurine would have been fine if it was merely a summer break, but no. It has to be you spending most of your days with another man. He couldn’t say he’s miserable without you, nor be upset at you for not texting him back. He’s worried about your health too, do you not think of how distressed he might be upon the thought of you pushing yourself too hard?

Aventurine thinks he’s selfish for wanting your time all for himself, how can he keep you away from the world, not when you’re born to be on stage? And so, wanting your eyes to be focused on him only is simply wishful thinking. He can only hope for the best as you take over the stage with your charisma and talent. 

He feels stupid. He feels stupid whenever he feels jealous as he thinks of how other people will surely fall for your charms on stage. Sleepless nights become more recurring as anxiety gnaws his flesh, trembling to himself as his insecurities get the best of him but he does not tell you. Aventurine notices the distance growing between the two of you, or is it simply all in his mind?

A loser, that’s what he thinks of himself. 

────────

The sound of chimes echo inside the hall as the song plays and the crowd screams.

What I would do to take away this fear of being loved, 

Allegiance to the pain.

“I can feel your man burning holes in my back from the sidelines,” Caelus whispers as he twirls you to face him, smirking after seeing the annoyed look in your eyes.

“Stop distracting me.” You retort back with a straight face and continue with the next figure.

Now I’m fucked up and I’m missing you.

Aventurine does not miss the exchange between you and the silver-haired male; The way Caelus smirked as you turned your back on the audience and the way you lightly pinched him on his side made his skin crawl. Oh, how much more he needs to endure, it’s barely half of the song and the two of you already look like you’re about to devour each other. The lyric hits him harder than it should.

As much as Aventurine is mesmerized with each movement you make with every flick of your arms and the beautiful expressions painting your face, his body shudders every time you roll your body against Caelus. Your movements are graceful and alluring, a force that continues to draw him in, however, the sight of your dance partner makes him all jittery, balling up his hands into fists whenever he gets too close to you for his comfort. He tries to calm down by reminding himself that those are merely steps and mean nothing more. He can tell you enjoyed having the spotlight to showcase your burning passion for dancing. He feels his heart swell with pride as you capture the audience with your mystique and grace. The sight of you dancing to such a sensual song with somebody else, however, fills him with rage, jealousy seething inside his chest and consuming his insides nonetheless. He feels pathetic and utterly a loser. The rest of the song passes with the two of you teasing each other to see who’ll get in each other’s skin first. To the audience, it looks like you’ve been outright flirting for approximately four minutes and couldn’t help but squeal each time you smirk at each other.

It’s safe to say that he’s beyond upset. The closing act did take a toll on him, the crowd did not help but add fuel to the fire raging inside his chest. The backstage has been nothing but annoying to him too. He keeps on hearing his fellow dancers fawn over your performance, “How do they not fall for each other on the spot?!”, “Just kiss already!”, “That was crazy! Did you see the way they looked at each other?!” 

────────

After the curtain call, everyone gathers at the backstage. You and Caelus share a knowing glance before erupting into bursts of laughter. The other students snicker at your reactions, “They even have a secret communication. I’m out!” You scan your eyes among the students and notice how the particular blonde guy is out of sight. 

“Hey, have you seen Aventurine?” The loudness of your voice falls on deafening silence as the students look at each other and shrug at you. “Ah, I see. Thank you!”

“I bet your man is sulking to himself, so make sure to kiss it better,” Caelus whispers and nudges his elbow against your waist.

“Oh, I hope your engineering boyfriend scolds you nonstop after I tell him of your overly devious plan of making him jealous!” You flick his forehead, “Don’t forget that we have known each other since high school.” 

“Ouch!” He yelps in pain, rubbing the sore spot. “Dan Heng definitely won’t be mad at me, andddd, You’ll thank me later for sure.” He winks at you which causes you to scoff.

“I’ll make sure he does, though.” You give him a condescending smile, “See you around, Caelus.”

“Yeah, yeah, go find your man already.” Caelus pushes you away and you both chuckle at each other’s teasing attitude.

You rush through the crowd, muttering a series of “Excuse me.” and “I’m passing through.”  as you make your way to the place you think Aventurine currently hides himself in. You sigh deeply, halting your steps as you settle into the uncrowded area, knocking on the dressing room for you and Caelus, “Aventurine, I know you’re there.” 

Without waiting for a response, you open the door and find Aventurine lying down on the couch with an arm over his face. A sigh of relief washes over you, closing the door behind you as you step inside the quiet room. I hope nobody disturbs us. You slowly walk over to him, pushing his hips slightly backwards and take a seat beside his torso, “You weren’t there for the curtain call.” 

He can imagine the frown on your pretty face from how you sounded, he simply sighs, “I’m tired, is all.”

“Let’s go home then,” You reach out to the arm covering his face. 

He does not respond. The silence makes you feel all stuffy and overwhelmed. Exhaling deeply, you try to remove the arm off his face and see him with his eyes closed, “I know you’re awake,” You pout, poking his cheek.

“I wish to be alone.” He replies in a monotonous voice in contrast to the cheerful tone he usually has.

“If you truly wish to be alone, you wouldn’t be hiding yourself away here. This is technically my dressing room.” You chuckle at his excuse, “You were waiting for me.”

“Why’d you ask the obvious.” When he finally opens his eyes, he shifts his gaze to you and finds himself taken aback by how marvelous you are in your attire. He has told himself that he’d act distant and he feels his resolve crumble upon the sight of you frowning.

“I want to hear it from you,” You lie your head against his chest while sitting, wanting to feel the warmth of his body, “Is that too much to ask?”

Aventurine adjusts himself for you to settle more comfortably on his upper body, his hand moves up to caress the back of your head, “I was waiting for you. There, happy?” He feels your body vibrate against his as you chuckle. Oh, how he wishes for you to only act like this around him.

Ignoring the blonde’s snarky remark, “You were so cool earlier. I wish I was dancing with you.” You press your weight on him further. Aventurine unconsciously holds his breath upon hearing your words, unable to give you a response. 

He clears his throat, shaking his head to snap himself out of the daze, “I wish I was dancing with you.”

Minutes of silence engulf the atmosphere, prompting you to get up, placing both of your arms on each side of his head, trapping his face between your hands, “Were you jealous?” You see the way his eyes widen at your blunt inquiry.

“What?” That is all Aventurine managed to utter, he takes a deep breath and feels nervous at the way you observe every fibre of his being at the moment, your intense gaze causes him to shiver.

“I asked if you were jealous.” You repeat with more conviction this time. The scrutiny in your gaze makes him fumble over his words.

“And...and if I was?” He admits, the worry finally displaying in his eyes.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you.” Your words shock him to the core. That is far from what he expects to hear. His body freezes and his breathing hitches as he simply stares at you with doe-eyes, “Caelus was just really eager to put up a stunt...” He snaps out of the trance as he hears the name of the person he currently despises, and his brows visibly furrow. 

“What for?” He asks in an annoyed tone and you wince.

“I guess his plan did work after all.” You let out a nervous chuckle, opting to answer his question indirectly.

“Ah, is that so?” Aventurine wraps his hands on both of your arms and removes them from his sides, sitting up in the process without letting go of the hold on your arms. He has this indescribable expression that causes your worry to spike up all the more.

“I hope you’re not mad.” You cast him a look of guilt. He feels himself gradually calming down upon hearing the truth behind the distasteful exchanges between the two of you during the closing act.

“Not anymore,” His thumbs rub soothing circles on your arms and you gladly welcome the warmth of his hand searing against your skin, “Not like I’m mad at you in the first place… I’m mad at myself rather.” He takes a deep breath before continuing, “I was so scared of feeling inferior to others when it comes to you.”

“I don’t want you to see me act brazen and uncool.” He breathes out.

“It’s not uncool to be jealous.” You raise your brows at him, “Knowing you, I know you’ll disguise your feelings into something else, there is no doubt about that. I’m glad you’re being honest with me right now.”

“I think you’ll have to thank your dance partner for that,” he rolls his eyes at the fact that Caelus actually helped him get out of his cowardice, “There’s no use being all sad and insecure when I could use the opportunity to tell you how I truly feel.” 

“I like you a lot, I’ve been trying to swallow these feelings due to the fear of losing you.” Aventurine feels nervous as hell as he utters those words slowly, his hands holding your arms quivering slightly, “You know how all my past relationships failed, right? I didn’t want that to happen between us. I cannot bear the thought of you being with someone else.”

“That won’t happen. I’m very certain.” You smile at him reassuringly, “I love you for all you are, Aventurine. I’ll never get tired of you. I know how hard you’ve been pushing yourself to become better and I wish to be by your side as you overcome your fears.”

Aventurine frowns in response, brows furrowing, “I wanted to say the L word first. That’s very sneaky of you, darling.”

“Sorry, I want to monopolize you sooner. I couldn’t wait anymore.” His jaw drops upon hearing your words, his mouth agape. He is beyond shocked at how bold your statement was, leaving him flabbergasted. When did you get so audacious? Did Caelus do something to you during your practices? He is perplexed, to say the least.

“Why are you looking at me like that!” You lightly hit his chest, snapping him out of stupefied state. 

“Since when did you learn to use such scandalous phrases?” His brows furrow at you accusingly.

“Caelus told me to say it to you once.” You close your eyes, admitting defeat.

“Perhaps I have one more thing to thank him for.” Aventurine finally composes himself, the usual playful attitude he sports is back. He gives you a sly grin, earning himself a treat of your blushing face, “May I?” You nod in response, closing your eyes as Aventurine leans forward, closing the gap between you. 

Aventurine whispers against your lips as he pulls away to admire your face,

“I love you more.”

“You always want far too much.”

It’s no surprise that Aventurine hears those words once again, ringing in his head like a broken record, repeating itself over and over until he feels himself overwhelmed. He asks himself why he still feels hurt when he is already so used to this, like a destiny he cannot escape.

Why must all his relationships always end all the same?

He finds himself unable to breathe, “Yes, I’m sorry,” is all he manages to blurt out as if the words are stuck in his throat. He feels the shards of his heart shattering into smaller pieces, leaving him to bleed. 

With a pensive smile, Aventurine nods at his now ex-lover and turns around, muttering a farewell as he walks away. He lets out a heavy sigh; I knew it was coming, he thinks to himself. Aventurine bites his lip in an attempt to hold back the tears attempting to escape his eyes, feeling his body quiver as he does so. 

Was I truly too much? Perhaps I was too demanding. I thought I satisfied their desires, maybe it wasn’t enough then. Did I ask for too much? 

Aventurine simply wants one thing– love in its purest form; genuine and unconditional. Perhaps it is too much to ask after all; perhaps his ideal of love is far-fetched from the reality he lives in, heartless and frigid for the likes of him; perhaps he’ll only find such love in his dreams. Oh, how he wishes not to wake up from it. 

Failure after failure, he is now certain that he must be too difficult to love and it might not be meant for him regardless of how hard he tries. He thinks that it is better to keep people only at arms-length more or less, treating them merely as friends. But Aventurine’s idea of friendship is quite complicated…He believes that friends can be bought. Pay for their time and they’ll give you plenty. 

Ah, he must have made a mistake then!

If only he realized early that he could’ve bought his ex-lovers’ love as well. His identity is inseparable from his wealth anyway.

Aventurine is taken aback by the way you used his words against him, his mouth hanging slightly agape but quickly masking it with his signature smirk.

“You’ll give me your heart,” you speak with much confidence, voice remaining resolute as you add, “Not only will you take my soul, but you’ll take my forever too.” 

An enticing smile spreads across your features. “Surely, you do not wish to miss out on this gamble of a lifetime?”

Surrender your heart to me and I will offer you my endless devotion. 

His gloved hand reaches for your waist, fingers digging through the fabric of your dress shirt, slowly dragging you in and caging you between his legs. His voice comes out in a hushed whisper, his determined gaze piercing through your soul. “And trust me, this is one gamble I will definitely win.” A tingle runs down your spine, your heartbeat racing with ardor. His proximity allows his perfume to take over your senses, making you slightly lightheaded.

“Just one request, darling,” he murmurs, his lips an even breath away from yours, his words making your heart miss a beat in anticipation. “Can I claim what’s mine right now?”

You lean into his touch, allowing him to devour your lips with all his pent-up desires and frustrations. Your other hand gently creeps up to cradle the side of his face while the other settles on his arm. You hum in contentment, smiling into the kiss as his lips mold with yours perfectly and in sync. After all, you have waited far too long for the boundary to be finally crossed, everything you have built over time is all at risk. Whether this blooms into a lifetime of happiness with each other and whether it falls apart, foretells an eternity of sorrow and mourning for the demise of your entwined hearts—only time will tell.

“This is a gamble worth taking, right?” he mumbles softly after pulling away, his eyes locking with yours once more, admiring the blush that paints your cheeks. A smirk reaches his lips, “You sure you’re not on the losing end with your wager? Is my heart the only thing you ever ask of me?” 

“My dear, I have lost from you long ago. The only option is to gamble everything that’s left of me, bust or take it all. It so happens that your heart is the one I am most eager to possess.” Your fingers fiddle with the ends of his hair as you meet the heat of his gaze with your pleading ones.

Aventurine flashes you a charming grin, his eyes sparkling with glee. “Yours, my dear.” 

All or nothing, indeed.

ayato can continue ignoring the speculations behind his back, or so he thinks.

many of his beliefs crumble down whenever he thinks of you. he wishes you would pay no mind to the rumors circulating around and would rather come directly to him for truth. he is a man of forthrightness except when you’re around. maybe, just maybe, he’s actually a lot more human than he thinks he is.

he used to believe that he would be devoting himself to his family and duties only, but you came to the scene unexpectedly. he thought that he could face anything that comes before him. he expected that he could easily swim out of the pool he was pushed into, instead, finding himself drowning in an ocean of you.

he loves the way your eyes glisten naturally like a pool of stars twinkling altogether. your smile makes his day a thousand times better. whenever he hears your laughter, he thinks that a year is added to his lifespan. he thinks that can spend a day on battle of wits and exchange ingenious banters with you. being the opposite and preferring to stay out of the public gaze—he is most fascinated by the way you uphold yourself everytime in public; being absent does not make him completely oblivious to you being the talk of the town. ayato is no match for the glory of your waves; crashing to the ship he hid himself away from the skies of observing eyes. and he thinks, how could a human be as deep and as dreamy as yourself?

he does not particularly enjoy small talks as he is often occupied with neverending duties as a public servant, but if it’s you, he can share a bit of a moment of the little time he has for himself. he also cherishes the tiny catch-ups when the two of you happen to bump into each other on a busy day.

ayato feels he can no longer handle the turbulence you caused in his life. he can no longer fight against the currents. he thinks that maybe he might just let the water enter his ship and let it sink. he does not mind anymore. not after hearing yet another marriage proposal turned down by you. ayato cannot allow any other noble to see how deep the ocean can be before he sees it for himself. he would rather keep you all to himself afterall. so he decides to get down on one knee before you and stop doubting himself.

he starts trembling the moment he arrives at your palace. he flashes a courteous smile to your servants and knights as if nothing, telling them not to announce his arrival. he continues to rehearse the lines he practiced last night as he take long strides toward your office. what is he going to do if you refuse? will his voice crack? unable to hide how scared he actually is? will he be unable to take a step to leave your office? will he get down on both knees and beg for your saccharine yes?

the thoughts immediately stop upon reaching the front of your office door. this is now or never. he takes a deep breath before knocking and exhales the moment he hears your voice.

“you may enter.”

ayato is welcomed by the most dazzling smile he’s ever seen in his life, he almost got blinded by how bright it was.

“oh. it’s you, lord kamisato.” you motion to him to take a seat as you finish signing one of the documents on your desk, “why must the great lord grace me with his presence in surprise? this ought to be something of utmost importance, am i right?”

“greetings, i apologize for coming unannounced. it is rather urgent, i believe that this is better discussed in person rather than in papers.” ayato chuckles. he carefully watches your every move—from putting the pen down to taking the seat in front of him.

“ah, pardon. let me call my butler first, my lord.” you are about to stand up but ayato’s hand grabs your arm hastily. you feel the warmth of his hand despite the gloves he is wearing. he is supposed to have his hands cold and sweaty but somehow it’s the opposite.

“no!” he mentally curses himself for being all over the place, “i meant, there is no need for tea. and for archon’s sake, drop the formalities.”

“is that so...”

“yes.” ayato is getting jittery as seconds pass.

he isn’t speaking, however his gaze is fixed on you. it’s making you nervous, as if he bears bad news. “ayato?” the way you speak his name is soft but enough to get him out of his trance.

“right. my apologies.” he chuckles dryly.

“are you alright? is this a heavy matter?” your brows furrow.

“yes. this is a heavy matter.” ayato breathes out. this is the first time you witness him this distressed. you do not make an effort to hide the worried expression creeping on your face upon hearing his words. your mind suddenly gets engulfed by questions you are unable to ask him.

“please proceed immediately ayato. i’m getting nervous.” you tell him impatiently.

ayato takes a deep breath to release some tension in his body. he cannot hide his pathetic side anymore but this must go on. he clears his throat and he feels the adrenaline rushing in his veins as he opens his mouth to speak.

“marry me.”

ayato jumps into the ocean.

no way he rehearsed over and over for him to completely go out of script. he flinches from the way his voice sounded, skin crawling from the tone he spoke. he watches your expression morphing into something he cannot decipher.

“i-” ayato is cut off by you.

you sigh in relief, “finally.”

“what?” he is caught completely off-guard. “did i hear that right?”

“i said, i am honored to have your offer, my lord,” you feign innocence, “despite making me all nervous as hell.”

“no, i think i heard you say something before that.”

“you definitely did not.” your eyes flash a hint of mischief, something ayato cannot ignore.

“were you truly waiting for my proposal? is that why you keep on refusing all this time?” ayato sounds genuinely curious it infuriates you.

“what makes you think that?” you utter with a firm voice.

he looks so dejected by your words, mouth agape. you cannot fathom how much power and effect you have on him right now. it is scary. ayato is not one to directly express displeasure through his face. he always keeps his composure and this situation makes you think that you are in a dream.

“forgive me for playing you like that, ayato. you’re never wrong anyway. truth is i was already preparing myself to grow stiff and stuttering alone, never thought this day will actually come.” ayato notices how your gaze softens, “i’m glad you asked.”

ayato feels the cold air slap his hands. he searches the carriage for his gloves to no avail. he realizes he must have forgotten it in your office. he sighs in disappointment. how can he forget his belongings just like that? he notices something glisten from his finger.

a piece of shiny metal sitting on his ring finger.

the rest of the talk is hazy, ayato is unable to recall how he wore the ring. his heightened emotions earlier caused him to lose focus on the situation, he knows one thing nevertheless.

you are now engaged. with him. that is all that matters. anything else can come after he gets home and rest for the day. he did not get a wink of sleep anyway.

ayato feels the water engulf him whole; he is slowly sinking to your ocean. he lets the water pull him down until he can no longer see the light from the midnight zone, sinking deeper and deeper down towards the abyss. and he does not mind any of it all.

ayato thinks he could drown himself in someone like you, he could dive so deep he can never come out.

he thought it was impossible, but you made it possible.

The traveler has nothing to do with these people. There are times they wanted to ignore everything else and focus on their twin, but oh, archons, their compassion weighs more than anything, they always make time for everyone. It is no secret that the traveler has a heart of gold. This is the reason why you always do your best to look after the traveler, making sure they do not take advantage of their capabilities. You know that their power is beyond measure, something that could rival a god’s, this has been proven quite a few times in their journey on the four nations. Albeit lacking in combat prowess, you never feel ashamed of showering the traveler with the affection and love they deserve. 

“Archons, what do I do without you?” The blonde traveler looks at you fondly, smiling from ear to ear, “I should start appreciating you more, don’t you think?”

“Can’t say I don’t want the Teyvat superstar’s attention on me, y’know?” You chuckle, inching closer to the traveler as you stroll on the bustling streets of Port Ormos. 

“Ouch, that is all I am to you? A celebrity?” The traveler scowls, feigning dismay. 

“I guess so.” You shrug as you intertwine your hands with the traveler. You feel the warmth of their hand spread through yours and your heart skips a beat although you initiated the contact. 

The traveler jokes, “I should try harder then,” the blonde pauses before taking a deep breath, “You know I’m grateful for you, right? I have things to do and the people constantly seek me to be of service to them, and then, there’s you.”

“What do you mean?” You lightly squeeze your intertwined hands.

“All that you ever wanted from me was sweet nothing.” The traveler halts, staring at you intently.

“Don’t be silly, you know the reason for that.” Your voice comes off hushed and you blush from the intense gaze on you. “I won’t be saying it though.”

“Yeah, love you too.” The traveler brings your hand to their face and gently places a kiss on your palm.