#shupure

In her recent message for the people taking part in the 6th generation audition, Kawasaki Sakura wrote: 'What Nogizaka46 gave me = comrades who fight for the same goal'. Although she had quite a lot of friends, she had fought alone until joining Nogizaka46.

"I started figure skating towards the end of first grade. When I went to the skating rink with my family, I saw a young lady who was a little older than me stylishly spinning around in her own shoes and in her own clothes, and I aspired [to be like her]. In those days, there was the presence of Asada Mao-san too, which also played a big part."

[T/N: asada mao is a japanese former competitive figure skater - an olympic silver medalist, a three-time world champion and the first female figure skater who has landed three triple axel jumps in one competition.]

Once she started taking skating lessons, she soon became engrossed in the daily practice. By passing promotion tests which were called 'badge tests', [the pupils] were able to move to upper classes. She enjoyed [taking them], as if they were a game. Afterwards, in the fourth grade, she joined a club team [= a type of management style for sports teams, referring to a sports club organization that is not run by a company, but by volunteers from the local area or alma mater].

Every morning, she'd wake up at 4am to go to morning practice and after school, she'd go back to the rink to immerse herself in practice. This skating-centered life continued for about 10 years, up until it was time to start preparing for her college entrance exams.

However, she wasn't always able to enjoy it the way she did when she went to skating lessons. As she went on to middle school, her skating life became to suffer.

"I don't like saying it myself, but generally speaking, sports were kind of my forte. But skating was the one thing I couldn't get right at all. There was a time when while everyone around me was improving, I was the only one who didn't achieve any results."

She was not able to pass the 5th Level badge test - which would've allowed her to qualify into the National Athletic Meet - for more than a year. She took the same exam 12 times, and each time she'd fail, she cried, saying 'I can't do this anymore'.

"I wasn't able to play with my friends and I didn't get any results either. Every month I'd think 'I just want to wave the white flag already'. But, I couldn't really think of quitting as an option..... I wanted my parents and instructor to be happy. I had no intention of going pro, and even if I did quit after all, I didn't want to end it on a[n] 'I ran away because it was too painful' note, but rather with a feeling of 'It was fun. I did it'.

Without losing heart, she continued to fight against the rink on her own and passed the 5th Level exam on her 13th try. She was able to finish up with figure skating with a positive memory and moved on to college entrance exams.

At the time, her goal was to become a pediatrician, hoping to 'become a doctor that children can open up to'. However, she was unable to overcome her weaknesses in terms of Maths III, so she gave up on the sciences which were unavoidable when becoming a doctor, and chose the humanities [instead].

"It would've been difficult to become a pediatrician after retiring from figure skating. It was exactly when I was of two minds, unsure what to choose between many things that I happened to see a commercial about the 5th generation recruitment. In it was depicted Endo-san's life before joining and the present time. I hadn't the faintest clue about idols, but when I thought about changing like Endo-san, I got all excited. I started to think about it as an option."

< I didn't like talking. I didn't have many friends. I couldn't show my feelings to others. But, I knew there was a place that could be totally different. I thought there might be people somewhere who'd think that it'd be okay to show their crying faces. > (<Now, I'm standing here>/Excerpt from the audition CM released in 2021.)

The words of a senior who strangely also was named 'Sakura' deeply struck her. Having continued to fight on her own, she worried over the matter right until the deadline of the recruitment - which had been extended by one day - when she finally decided to aim for Nogizaka46.

As for the aspect in which she's grown most in the two and a half years since joining, she mentions how she's now able to perform confidently.

"I'm not very good at standing in front of others, which is also a big part of why the figure skating tests were [something] to get through. Even now it's not my forte, but as a member of Nogizaka46, I've had the opportunity to stand on big stages such as the Tokyo Dome. I feel like I've become stronger now."

Moreover, she says she's also discovered the fun of interacting with others.

"Since we're a group that gets to work with different people on different projects every day, I get to meet all sorts of people, which inspires me.

For Okamoto Hina, a saying from her father has really stuck with her. "If you start running away now, you'll always end up running away."

"Though my father is kind, he's never allowed me to run away from something or to slack off. I did ballet from 6-years-old until 18-years-old, and no matter how much I might've wanted not to go [to practice], he would only let me take a day off if my physical condition was poor. From a young age, I've been taught to keep going [when doing something] and even if at that time, it was really hard to do so, now I am grateful [for this mentality], too."

Such was the case of this girl dedicating most of her life to ballet. While in elementary school, for six years straight, when the Star Festival rolled around, she'd always write 'I want to become a ballet instructor' on the colourful strips of paper.

[T/N: 'tanabata', also known as the star festival, is held every year, on july 7th. on this day, people write their wishes on colourful strips of paper, which are called 'tanzaku'.]

"When I was young, I used to be the type of child who'd get injured quite often. However, ballet was so enjoyable that I would keep attending the lessons, no matter how painful it might've been. One time i was told, 'Hina, your hand is blue, please go get it checked out at the hospital!', and it turned out that I had a bone fracture. Even so, I didn't want to take the day off. There wasn't any time to play with my friends, either."

Even though she loved ballet this much, once she entered junior high school, the times when she found it 'painful' [more than anything] kept happening more and more frequently.

"Since becoming a junior high schooler, I began looking at it pragmatically, thinking 'I want this to be my future job.' For that to actually happen, I had to get awards at [various] competitions. So, for that reason, I practiced day after day, until I reached my very limit. Despite being able to win prizes, I still wasn't satisfied. [I felt like,] 'I absolutely HAVE to get first place'. For three years in junior high school, I thought that was the one thing I lived for. When I first took up ballet, I loved it, but by then, I had grown not to like it in the slightest......."

The girl who loved ballet kept on fighting despite her suffering. However, once she became a senior high schooler, she discovered the harsh truth of reality. When aiming for the top of the ballet world, height holds great meaning. In order to join any ballet company, your height must be no less than 160cm. Okamoto's height (158cm) wasn't enough to keep moving forward. Therefore, she set a great goal for herself.

"I thought that there was nothing else I could do, apart from entering an international competition and trying to catch the eye of [ballet] instructors from overseas. I made up my mind and gave it a shot, in hopes of getting a good rank and earning a scholarship."

[That took place in her] first year of senior high school. Bearing that in mind, she took part in an international competition for the first time. As a result of that, she was offered the opportunity of studying abroad in the United States for a short while. Moreover, in the final competition during her third year of senior high school, she achieved great results, which earned her the right to study abroad in one of Russia's national ballet schools.

"At last, I got to seize the ticket [for a bright future] that I had been waiting for. And yet....... I hurt my hip joint. Originally, I was supposed to start studying at the Russian school in September, but they agreed to wait until I finished high school, on condition that my ballet level wouldn't decrease in the meantime. But because of my injury, I wasn't able to keep going to lessons, and it felt as if in one fell swoop, the one thing that had been such a defining part of my life disappeared. All of my classmates had decided on which university they'd go to so there no longer was a place where I could be myself, my leg injury wouldn't heal, it seemed as if I had lost the opportunity to study abroad, too....... There wasn't anything else I could do but be worried."

It was then that she found out about Nogizaka46 opening their 5th generation auditions and decided to enter.

"Someone I really love is Hori Miona-san (graduated member). At that time, my feelings weren't necessarily 'I hope I'll pass the audition', they were more like '[If I do pass,] I hope my experience will be sort of the same as Miona-chan's'. I completely thought that there was no way I'd pass, which is why I didn't really have a moment where I went something like 'If I do pass the audition, what will I do?' [and what will I choose, between ballet or Nogizaka. But, I made up my mind that] 'If I go to Russia, I won't be able to do [or try] anything else, so I might as well experience and do everything I can in Japan [before then]."

Those were her feelings before auditioning. But, to her amazement, she ended up passing the audition.

".....I was troubled, I didn't know what to choose between going to Russia [for ballet] or becoming a member of Nogizaka46. But, after all, I believed that 'If I join Nogizaka46, I'll still be able to continue doing ballet. However, if I go to Russia, I won't be able to become a member of Nogizaka46.' My leg still not having healed was something important to consider, too. Going to Russia was something I was afraid of at times, since it had become clear that it would've hurt. There were many mixed feelings, but this was a decision I made on my own."

For 12 years, ballet was her single-minded focus. Above all else, it was difficult to tell her parents, the people who had supported her and cheered her on with all their might, "I want to become an idol [instead]".

"It took all of my strength to be able to tell my parents that, since they had such high expectations for me and had worked so hard for me to be able to get training in ballet. This was something that I felt really apologetic about. But when I told them "I want to choose Nogizaka46", they told me "Hina, up until now, you've really given your all to ballet. I think that that very same ballet has led to this now being the result of your audition.'"

"If you start running away [from something] now, you'll always end up running away."

Ioki Mao often showcases her astonishing athletic ability on 'Nogizaka Koujichuu' (TV Tokyo). She looks back on her childhood [when she was] a 'mischevious girl'.

"I seem to have been a naive type of girl, one who took off running even when I were walking hand in hand with my mother. I went to the farm in order to catch bugs, and I'd get all dirty in the mud (laughs). I also took lots of lessons. Eurythmics (= the art of harmonious bodily movement especially through expressive timed movements in response to improvised music), calligraphy, swimming and tea ceremony [= Japanese cultural activity involving the ceremonial preparation and presentation of matcha, powdered green tea]. I'd find breaks in-between and go play. Every day, I was so busy that I didn't really get [any] time off.

This type of girl entered middle school and joined the kendo club [= similar to fencing, in a way].

"A friend asked me to join, but it was super strict. That same friend quit right away (laughs). Such a strong school it was that people from outside the school district would [also] come and say, 'I've been doing kendo since kindergarten'! Going in, I wasn't aware of the fact, so it was really difficult at first. Both the teachers and the seniors were really strict, and because I went to cram school also, [in my everyday life] I'd get home late at night and then head to school at 6am for morning practice.

When I realized, 'I'm this busy and summer vacation only lasts about 10 days!', I felt that I had reached my limit. I had a serious discussion with my mother about it. But she told me, 'Once you've made up your mind [to try it out], you should keep working hard and keep going [until the end].' Surely she wanted me to become someone who could keep going no matter what, but in my heart, I was thinking 'It's really tough! You know that!'"

In the end, she chose to stick with it for those three years.

"It was difficult, but I held my ground. Looking back on those three years, I'm glad I did. Now that I'm an idol, there are all sorts of situations where you have to be both physically and mentally tough. On such occasions I think, 'Had I given up on kendo halfway through, I probably wouldn't have been able to stick it out 'till now.' I'm cheered up by the thought 'It may be tough, but the training camp from back then was tougher' (laughs).

After those three years, she went on to high school. She quit cram school and perhaps, as a consequence of her time in middle school, ended up not joining any clubs.

"Compared to just how busy I was in middle school, [now] there was so much [free] time that I felt like 'I don't have anything to do anymore'. Back in my first year of high school, during the summer holidays I barely moved from my bed, so much so that my head really hurt.

It was as if there was a gaping hole in her heart and she didn't feel like doing anything. At that time, her elder brother let her know about the auditions and asked her 'Why not give it a try?'

"To tell you the truth, I'm not the kind of person who can do such things. I feel embarrassed about doing anything. The 'Ehhhh, can't do it' sort of thing. But I was so sure that 'I'll never get in [anyway]' that I quickly sent it in....... I was so surprised to see myself going one [audition round] after the other."

And so, Ioki Mao passed the audition.

"Since joining Nogizaka46, every day has been so fulfilling! When I remember the summer vacation in my first year of high school when I was feeling gray, I'm happy about how busy I am nowadays. I want to do all kinds of work, so only having a little time off is fine."