#shshhs

Kai: I-What???

Cole: WHY ARE YOU SO PRETTY?!

Kai: WHERE IS THIS COMING FROM?!

Cole: I JUST LOVE YOU A LOT OKAY?!

She understands the perils that exist with being unreserved, with opening one’s lips and making feelings into reality. Once you release your sincerity to others, no matter how beautiful and liberating it seems in the moment, you will inevitably become vulnerable.

‘ Love makes you weak. ’  Her father scolded her, punished her over and over concerning it.

‘ Love makes you afraid. ’ Her mother didn’t fare any better in molding a warm impression of love, claiming irrational things like loving father while trembling before him.

 Kichō, too, manipulated herself into thinking such affections and attachments were absurd. If someone falls into that dizzying state of being in love with another, then they need only rip those feelings apart like petals from a flower. And she tried to do that with a desperate earnestness at first when the warm sensation of fondness for Nobunaga starts to seep into her. It crept up on her in her mortal life, she admits. It was at first only fleeting thoughts, but then like a tree extending its roots, they planted themselves in her heart.

 Over countless years in their past lives, Kichō trapped herself in a fabricated ignorance of these feelings with excuses stacked upon excuses and continual delays. Even though they both have these forms now, the heaviness of those years still weighs fresh on her. No, maybe because they are here with each other like this now, that there are instances where the words almost spill out. Each time pushes her closer and closer to ruining the undisturbed relationship they created with one another. It makes her hesitate and shake more and more until …

“ Nobunaga-sama – ” Her voice sounds unlike her. Who is this stranger speaking ?“ Do you know ?”

“ Nobunaga-sama is Kichō’s most important person. ”

 Why did that secret tumble out simply ? Because Nobunaga is in her eyes even when she’s not looking at her. Because she’s in her heart, too. Because whether Nobunaga laughs or cries or acts arrogant, Kichō can still gaze at her and think that she’s the most lovely existence to her.

 She says it like that to keep the distance there. ‘ You are my most important person ’ means confessing without any barriers. ‘ You ’ and ‘ I ’ together is another way to express the sentiment of ‘ we ’. Without reciprocation, it can only be ‘ I ’ acting on ‘ you ’. I will safeguard you ; I will walk with you ; I will cherish you. ‘ We ’ changes everything.

“ So, can I … ?” The question trails off abruptly. She almost said too much. “ Can I accompany you just like this even if I’m lacking ?”

 Those words are easier to say.

It’s funny. Funny how reality comes crashing down at the most unexpected times, without any warning to it at all. For decades, they’d played this game of playful flirting and flustering comments that could be labeled without truly committing. Safe ways of expressing their affections without every taking it too seriously. 

Not that those compliments had ever been a lie. She’d found her attractive from the very start. Of course, this wasn’t of much importance at all. Anyone blessed with the right genetics could wear a pretty face - one that would fade away like a dream eventually with the passage of time. Nobunaga was not concerned with these aesthetics.

Her intelligence and confidence - those were things that made her interesting. It was more important, as it had been the reason she’d come back time and time again to enjoy her company. It made her someone she wanted to be around.

But there were some things - like her courage and loyalty - that were truly irreplaceable.  Even if she had not always been on her side, it made her service all the more precious to the warlord. Kicho was  a person who was not as shallow as to have her loyalty unquestionably lie with a single person, but rather the ideals that made them to begin with. Nobunaga never forced her into anything she’d done for her - it had always been of her own volition. 

Then why? Why was she so terrified that part of her would fade away if she finally faced this? 

She wants to refute it, to say she should spend her time searching elsewhere....but the Oda’s firstborn daughter was never married for a reason  her family legacy built not by birthright, but continued by the children she would find in villages she’d come too late to save. Because she knew no one would ever match up to the girl who had been supposed to assassinate her.

“...Yes. I knew. Because you were mine too.” 

Unlike Kicho, she choses to be direct in confirming her feelings, even if this self-proclaimed demon king of the sixth heaven can’t lift her head to meet her lover’s eyes. 

“...I just...didn’t want to hurt you.”

Her voice now also sounds so unlike herself, and she gingerly reaches out to touch the other girl’s face. Quickly, though, she finds  that she couldn’t do this if she was looking at her. It’s pathetic, but even if it’s the person she’d come to trust most in this world - that fear of being betrayed again is too heavily engrained in her. Damn you, Akechi. Damn you for this.

Instead, she pulls Kicho closer to her, guiding the other’s head against her shoulder. 

“I never wanted you to feel as if you were trapped - as if your loyalty to be was ever an obligation. I didn’t want to become your father - or mine, for that matter. Your independence is the most beautiful thing about you, I didn’t want to take it from you.”

Or any of those damn adults that’d used them as kids for their own selfish gains.

“It hurts me, to hear you say you are lacking - for you to continue to fail to address us as equals. If anything, it was a true honor to have you by my side. I could have never done what I did without you.”

A deep breath, knowing there was no going back. No playing around this time.

Ink, covered in dirt: Why do you have a flower garden if you know accidents are bound to occur?

I posted this on the wrong account but w.e. The stories have no date on them so you’ll never know when they’re posted :>

❤︎.

❤︎.

❤︎.

❤︎.

“Fortunate For the Unfortunate”

Summery: Seonghwa continues to embarrass himself in front of Yeosang..until San gets tired of it and makes him call, but not only did he expose his sexual desires to him, he also exposed his love for him. What will happen ?😳

“I Want to Experience What She’s Feeling too”

Summery: Mingi walks in on Yunho fucking you, but he’s sadly attracted to it. The thing is, you’re not the one he’s looking at.

“Diary Fantasies (chap. 1)”

Ok this is either a consistency problem or someone is remembering something wrong shhdhd