and she embraced the chaos , as it painted her life with purpose.

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and she embraced the chaos , as it painted her life with purpose.

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i don’t know how to word this in any kind of pretty way. and i really don’t want to go into a whole Debate. i just want to say simply that... yes , my mal is pan. but my mal has been pan since i made her. that has always been the way i saw her. and the way you see her might be different. and you are so fucking valid in that. actor / actress headcanons are nice. but.. they aren’t law. you can take it as canon if you would like , but if it doesn’t feel right... chuck that shit out the window with the rest of the fuckery that is canon. these are our characters.
@ofmalice said : ❛ it’s an adventure , mal, it’s good for you . ❜
GAG SITS PRESSED AGAINST CLENCHED TEETH. lip curled as evidence of her disgust. she knows that the words reaching into her chest carry nothing if not truth and concern. love that extends between them without question. — but god. all she wants is to answer with a stomped foot and the slamming of bedroom door. “ easy for you to say. you’re not the one being uprooted from you entire life ! ” there’s no way to gloss over bitter edge to her tone. accompanied by the snapping of pencil’s point as it digs into sketchpad nestled in her lap. it’s a tantrum by any stretch of the imagination. and she doesn’t care.
“ can’t i just transfer to serpent prep or something ... ? ” the thought should not come with enough humor to make her laugh. but the giggle rises to lips , effectively softening her features. “ — now that would be an adventure worth going on. ”
mal ‘scolding’ the core four in d2 for bringing ben to the isle is just... an Important scene to me. because she’s so mad that they put him danger. but she’s also mad that they came after her. because in her mind, she was doing everyone a favor by leaving. and now they’re here. and it’s really hard to think about having to actually say goodbye to them. which is why she left the way she did in the first place. but it’s also... when she’s yelling at them. she’s more like her mother than she ever wanted to be. well, she used to want to be every bit of her mother. and now she’s grown passed that. but when she stands over them and questions their actions, like they aren’t her friends, they’re less than that. it’s a moment that she looks back on and just is kind of horrified by the way she reacted. like her initial gut reaction. and being back in a place that was one ruled by her mother, standing over the town and yelling in a similar fashion. yeah. it’s a small thing. but she definitely has nightmares about it. because what if being good isn’t a choice? what if she really is just rotten to the core?
@sabrinatm sent this for a starter.
anger crashes like a tidal wave. her ability to handle situations rationally , calmly as so many would like to call it , depends on a number of factors. how deeply she hurts due to the wrong caused by another. how cruel she perceives their blunder. and how genuine she feels their apology has been spoken. ( if there is one to be heard. ) but when arms fall across her chest , heavy sigh passing between red lips , she finds herself in the calm before the storm. “ it’s been a while since i have even heard from you. ”

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@softbrawn , meme : ❝ you didn’t have to do that. ❞
there’s a chance she’s breaking every rule laid out in the unofficial drawing of battle lines. but when she lingers TOO LONG on the thought of walking away , her stomach flips. a weakness she can never seem to banish. far too skilled in the art of bandaging a wound , she flickers her gaze up to the soft spoken boy and offers a shrug of her shoulders. “ it’s no fun beating uma when it’s not a fair fight. ” easy cover for the tender heart that kind of just wants to help. the animosity RUNS DEEP but she’s never wanted to cause real harm. not to any of them. “ but if you tell anyone i did this. . . ” empty threat.
@gotabat , meme : “ you woke me up. ”
if she hadn’t already settled herself in the available space next to him , she might have moved to fully sit on him. instead she pulls her leg more into her. adjusting the sketchbook that SPREAD ACROSS her lap. “ consider it payback. ” never once do eyes lift from the curve she’s retracing , shading in a corner she’s been working on for the better half of twenty minutes. “ you were snoring. again. ”
@boysarcasm , meme.
eyebrows lift as she listens to him , partly. the other half is too focused on the turning of the wheels inside her own mind. so ready to SPIT OUT her answer. and how often it happens that she finds herself tuning him out before he’s gotten to the point. admittedly not her best feature. “ it’s so hard when you’re shallow as a shower ! ” anger foams at the mouth. explanation doesn’t come in calm words. or a comforting hand to hold. just bared teeth and a chest that heaves with rage.