Darcy/Pietro at clients farm. Who knew tech and city loving Darcy was raised on a ranch/farm
DARCY KNEW, AND DARCY DID NOT WANT TO GO BACK. DARCY DID HER TIME, OKAY, DARCY SERVED IN THE TRENCHES. AND BY SERVED IN THEM SHE MEANS DUG AND DROVE TRACTORS OVER AND WORSE. SO MUCH WORSE. Unfortunately for Darcy, the Barton farm is the only safe house in the right hemisphere for Jane to continue her work while the government’s being creepy nutbags again and the Avengers are having their little “Civil War” kerfluffle, oh her god, melodramatic much?? LOOK DARCY HAS SEEN JUST ENOUGH OF ACTUAL WARS TO KNOW THAT STEVE ROGERS AND TONY STARK SHOULD BOTH KNOW BETTER THAN TO CONSIDER A FIVE-ON-FIVE FIGHT ANYTHING BIGGER THAN A SCRIMMAGE, OKAY? OKAY.
Pietro is baffled by the farm. He is really only here because the Cradle could only fix so much (LIKE BEING REZZED FROM THE DEAD ISN’T ENOUGH I GUESS??) and Helen Cho INSISTED he stay out of the field for at least six months while she ran every goddamn test she could think of. She does not appreciate hearing “walk it off” cracks, Pietro. Steve ESPECIALLY does not appreciate the “walk it off” cracks.
Seriously, Wanda, are you SURE you don’t want some help with your scrimmage? He could make it six-on-five! Wanda is like psssht please these weak Americans won’t last a week, I’ll see you next Friday. Pietro is like gloom, but fiiiine, he’ll finish repainting Clint’s stupid den while everyone ELSE gets to have a fight scene and probably some character development. Whatever, he doesn’t care. HE’S FINE.
Thus, the story of how Clint and Laura’s livestock got used to their food apparently teleporting into their stalls/troughs and how in the time it took Jane and Darcy and Erik and Ian to negotiate out a share of the den with Helen for SCIENCE!! purposes and unpack, Pietro had brought in the entire corn harvest, given the den a second coat, and passed out snoring on the living room floor.
Darcy may’ve accidentally stepped on him a little while distracted by trying not to sell herself out as Knowing How To Farm to Laura and the kids, because god forbid she ever have to get up before six AM again. And then learned why her soulmate words were about six different angry European swears and a Romani curse. Oops.
