#sho kurusu

At age 12, Tokiya knew something was wrong with his mind. Everytime he reached a certain stress level, he started to feel like throwing a tantrum and crying it all out loud. He wanted his burden, his responsibility off his shoulders for once and just showered with praise and soft things, like the blue flannel blanket his late grandfather gave him when he was 8. It has a blue bird embroidery with his name on one of its corner.

Tokiya was reluctant when his grandfather gave something as childish as a blanket to him, he felt he aged enough not to be pampered anymore, not that his parents care for him much, but his grandfather has stretched out the soft material with his equally soft smile. Tokiya took it into his hand, muttered a 'thank you', his first real gratitude, to his grandfather who patted his head. After said event, Tokiya slowly opened himself to his grandfather, never to his busy parents, and his grandfather in return gave the warmth he unconsciously has been longing all along. His grandfather breathe his final breathe when Tokiya was 10 years old, holding his prunny hands and feeling for the lost thudding of his artery in his wrist. He cried hard for the first time in his whole life. Then, there was nobody else to hold him when he was sad, nobody to teach him how to make a whistle from leaf, nobody to sneak in some snacks before sleep, nobody to read him story when he felt like he can't sleep, and most importantly, he felt alone.

A year after, Tokiya searched frantically after accidentally talking with a lisp to one of his home caretaker. He entered everything he felt, from wanting to get mad at everything to being pampered into google's search bar. His answer came in less than 5 minutes. Tokiya felt his shoulder slumped in distress. He is a Little.

-chapter break-

Age regression is when somebody reverts to a child-like state of mind, often as a coping mechanism for things like PTSD, depression, anxiety and other mental health issues. Basically age regressors are more at-peace and worry-free whilst in 'little space' (a term for when one is in said mindset). These people simply need breaks from the stress of being old and often have a childish personality even outside of regression.

Otoya blinked again and again. His eyes roamed back from top to bottom and repeat it again to break his dumbfounded state and register the sentences to his mind. His right hand fumbled with the scroll on the mouse, up and down, up and down. As his eyes read it again, his mind had underlined several words. Age regrsssion, child, stress. His eyes stranded after reading for the fifth time to the figure beside him. His roommate was sitting in the corner on his bed. His body was curled with his knees raised and arms thrown on them. His face was also hiding behind his folded arms and for the first time after living with Tokiya, he saw how small he was.

Otoya had sighed as he remembered about yesterday's accident.

-chapter break-

"To~ki~ya~"

Otoya was running through the halls of bedrooms into his and Tokiya's shared room. The red head felt great today! He got a full score on one of his test, scored several goals at soccer, and finally bought the legendary bread in the canteen. The last thing be needed today is to tell everything to someone and that someone happened to reside in his bedroom.

He had been told repeatedly by his blue haired roommate to at least knock if he wanted to enter a room, even if it it was his own bedroom because he shared it. But Tokiya's advice just flew  away in his happy state. Otoya turned the knob and opened the door happily.

"Tokiyaaaa~ today I-"

Otoya immediately heard a loud gasp from inside. His eyes opened to see what was wrong and it just stared at Tokiya.

On his tidy neat bed sat Tokiya in a hoodie Otoya had bought for his birthday but apparently two sizes to big, a blue blanket, and tw-three bird dolls. The person in the middle of everything, he deemed as the owner, was ashen and pale with rosy cheeks. Tokiya's deep blue orbs were staring at him but Otoya saw something else in there. Like the pupil was a bit clouded and each eyes are larger than its normal size.

"I--uh--I will come back later!!!"

Otoya ran out of his room, never forgot to close it again, and just wander around aimlessly and trying to will his mind to snap back. What had he seen?

"Yo, Tokki!"

His head immediately snapped up to meet his friend. Ren Jinguuji was stood in front of him smiling, but different from the smile he thrown to his fans, with his orange hair in a ponytail. Masato, his roommate, childhood friend, and potential lover had told him to put it up rather than letting it free. To look tidier at least, Masato had said. Ren had argued that his lovely ladies prefer to see his hair free of tie yet he always tie it whenever they are in dorms.

"What's wrong, Tokki? Are you okay? Come to think of it, where is Icchi? Have you seen him?"

At the mention of his name, Otoya immediately answered as fluent as possible.

"Oh oh I'm fine!! Just thinking about today's dinner~ W-why are you searching for Tokiya?"

Ren's brow raised in confusion and Otoya had to gulp a lump in his throat. Who would he kidding? There is just no way Ren would buy a lame excuse as that. When Ren sighed, he wondered if his acting had taken up into a new level or it was just Ren trying to be nice.

"I heard he has a hard time recently so I was about to see how he was doing"

"Oh, I see! No wonder Tokiya is sleeping early~"

Otoya would praise his mouth for thinking of such a wonderful excuse. But still that didn't cover or gave him a hint on what he saw in his bedroom.

"Oh? That is a surprise~ Why don't we prank him with another marker again? I am running of blackmail phot-"

"Ah! I forgot to buy tonight's ingredient! How about Ren accompany me?"

Ren's brow creased deeper.

But Otoya didn't cower down and used his puppy face, something he knew no one had ever able to say no to.

"O...kay..."

"Great!"

Then Otoya practically drag the taller boy down to the minimarket while messaging Tokiya when would it be alright to come back to his room.

-chapter break-

At 8 p.m Tokiya had replied his message. I'm sorry and I'm fine. But when the clock hit 9 o'clock that was when Otoya finally strolled back to his room from Syo's and Natsuki's bedroom.

The hallway was quiet at night, devoid from any voice except for some cicadas and frogs singing with the moon shining upon them. Just like a spotlight specially made for them. Also the sound of his sandal hitting the wooden floor beneath him was his only companion. As he gotten neared his door, Otoya noticed that there was no light coming from inside. He frowned. Tokiya always slept at least at 10 o'clock or sometimes after midnight and wake up before him. Was he really that tired as Ren had said or probably because Otoya saw the inside of Pandora box?

The red haired man shook his head and opened the door slowly. As he had predicted before, the light was out. His roommate's body was lying on his bed but there was no soft snore or sign of him sleeping.

Otoya took several feet to his partner's bed.

"Toki-"

"Otoya"

Otoya's breathing hitch

"I will explain tomorrow. Please"

His heart cracked when he heard Tokiya's pleading tone. He remembered Tokiya's exasperated noise often, his laugh several times, his awed voice everytime Nanami finished a song, and Tokiya's soft snore when he was deep asleep. But never did he heard something akind to this.

With heavy heart, Otoya turned on his heel and readied himself to bed. He prepared for a night with no sleeping. But today's event proved him wrong as he was taken into a blissful sleep in less than an hour, leaving his partner awake on the bed opposite his.

In the morning, Otoya had prepared for the awkwardness to settle in. Otoya was awoke naturally, not because of Tokiya mother-hen mode for once, and seen his partner's bed empty. Otoya readied himself and went to the hallway where his missing partner was with Masato, Syo, and Camus. As soon as their eyes met, the bluenette stopped and strode to Otoya. His head bowed down, then as they passed, Otoya felt a paper was given.

"Finish your breakfast first" Tokiya muttered beside him

Then as soon as they met, Tokiya was gone.

"What happen just now?"

Syo asked making Otoya startled. The paper given was quickly shove into his pocket.

"A-ahhh, Tokiya said that he wanna practice something again. I-I'm hungry~ Masaaa where is the food??"

Masato huffed and handed him his share of sanma. The other might realize something was going on, but never did they speak about it ever again.

Then here they were, in their shared room. Otoya looking over his friend who was still curled against the wall on his bed.

'Age regression' Otoya thought 'Tokiya was stressed enough'

Otoya slowly walked into where his partner was and climbed the short bed. Tokiya's figure flinched as soon as the bed cover pulled against Otoya's weight. Otoya placed his hand on top of Tokiya's left arm.

"Toki...."

Tokiya's gripped on his own arm tightened

"Toki...I don't mind, you know?"

Tokiya looked up from his hiding place. Otoya heart broken in pieces when he saw red puffy eyes and tear marks in his cheeks. And....yeah. Otoya didn't mistaken the size of Tokiya's widening pupil. If Tokiya ever smile it would be very pretty, not that usual Tokiya's smile not pretty or anything. But Otoya could picture Tokiya in a child-mindset smiling up at him.

"Can I be your caretaker?"

Otoya blinked. Tokiya too blinked. Was that his voice just now?

"U-um.. I mean... it is stated that a Little has to have someone to take care of them when they are in their child mindset. So, I'm thinking if you need one I can help"

He scratch the side of his temple, one of his nervous quirk. Not that the others realized about his habit.

"Y-you want to? Am I not weird?"

"No! Not at all! Everyone has their own coping mechanism and if Tokiya's is being a little than it is fine"

Tokiya blinked unsure at him

"I mean it, ya know? If you think that I am not competent enough, should I call Ms. Yukine from Sunshine Orphanage to tell you my babysitting record?"

Now he was snickering. Tokiya sure did know that Otoya was raised in Sunshine orphanage by Ms. Yukine after his parents got into an accident on a young age. Tokiya also had listened to Otoya's rambling about Chii-chan and Juno-kun adventure time, Shunichi's bug collection, Totoko's singing and dancing talent, and other kids he had growned up with. There was no doubt that Otoya was experienced enough with kids.

"Tokiya?"

Otoya called when the bluenette in front of him didn't do anything.

"Okay"

"Okay?"

"Be my caretaker.....please"

Otoya smiles his thousand dollar watt and glomped his usually cold friend and partner. Tokiya gave a stifled yelp and followed Otoya's giggled.

"Thank you, Otoya" Tokiya said from Otoya's chest.

"You are welcome, Tokiya~"

-chapter break-

The day after their battle with QUARTET NIGHT, STARISH was given a week off. They were physically and mentally exhausted after preparing for their concert. Now that everything settled, each of them sighed heavily full of relieve. They didn't bother to eat dinner or anything, it was 9 p.m, and strode to their room with a simple 'night' to each other they met.

Ren raised his brow when he saw a red head figure playing with his cellphone in their living room.

"Otoyan? You are not sleeping?"

The red head snapped their head to Ren and waved his hand.

"I will be in 10 minutes~ Just need to boil some milk for a goodnight sleep"

Ren chuckled at the A class student's antic and childish personality

"Right then. I will be going first, ciao"

Then Ren left him, not knowing the existence of a baby bottle in Otoya's hand.

Otoya slipped back into his room with a warm bottle of milk in his hand. After entering his room, his hand locked their room in habit.

"Tokiyaaa, I'm here"

Otoya giggled when he saw a blanket covered lump shaking from laughing. The blanket was soft blue color, the one Little Tokiya had described as his back snuggled against the smaller one's chest. Although the clothe wasn't big enough now, Tokiya still tried to cover his body with it which made him just adorable.

Right now, Little Tokiya was covering his body with it, but his legs were jutting out. Otoya walked to where they were and tickled Tokiya's feet. The reaction was a high pitch laugh and the boy's body curled inward to protect his ticklish part.

"Ahahahahaha, 'toyaaaa, sto-ahahahaha, nyohohaha pl-please ahahahaha"

After 30 seconds, Otoya stopped his ministration and uncovered Little Tokiya. His face was glistening with sweat and rosy cheeks.

"Come on, Toki~ It's time for your warm milk and bed time story"

"It's night already?"

"Yup! And it's time to sleep~"

The man scrambled to sit near the headrest but leaving enough space for his caregiver sitting behind him, a position Tokiya loved so much. When Otoya discovered it, he almost hug Tokiya from behind even when he was Big. Sometimes he wanted Tokiya to sit on his lap.

The excited 5 year old, Tokiya also told him it was the time he realized his parents didn't dote him like a normal parent should and time when he acted like Hayato, patted Otoya's space, telling him to hurry up.

Otoya clambered to his place and boxed Tokiya's body with his legs and arms. Tokiya placed his head on the juncture of Otoya's right shoulder and neck while Otoya himself located his head on Tokiya's left, easily placing little smooches there.

His hand took the bottle he had put on Tokiya's bedside table and gave it to the five year old. Tokiya happily drinked his warm milk while Otoya busy hugging his cute partner.

After finishing his nightly beverage, Tokiya placed his bottle back, Otoya figures that Tokiya was a very polite child from the start, and slumped back against Otoya, head nuzzling against Otoya's neck.

"Still hungry, Toki?"

His Toki shook his head

"Oookay~ Have any story you would like to hear?"

"Ummm....astronomy?"

Another fact was Tokiya very very extremely fond with anything about astronomy and myths. Otoya felt challenged each time.

"Hum... ah! I know! Have you heard the gossip about the moon and the sun?"

"No"

"Righty, you see Toki, the sun and the moon were once best friend. The sun is attracted at moon because it has such a unique shape while the moon is attracted to sun's shine and brightness. But then-"

Otoya continued his story for around 5 minutes before he heard a soft snore against his neck. He stopped his story and pecked Tokiya's head. He carefully repositioned their body so they could snuggle comfortably. When he was finally positioned lying on his side with his front against Tokiya's backside, he tightened his arms on Tokiya's waist to bring them closer. Tokiya unconsciously leaned back to Otoya's warmer body.

Smiling again, Otoya spoke softly