#shnbu

𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐫𝐨𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠.    /    accepting.

𝐌𝐄𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒  𝐆𝐑𝐈𝐏  𝐇𝐈𝐌 like a weighted ball on a chain ,  and they cast him out to sea ,  dragging him down into his own depths .  could he  ever  forget  ?    it didn’t sound right to — or ,  more accurately ,  he believed he didn’t  deserve  to .  did he not owe that constant memory ,  at  least ,  to those who had fallen so that he could stand ?  

no ,  perhaps  shinobu  was  right .

it was ,  in a sense ,  a mantra they all followed — keep  moving  forward .  do not falter .  though they might  fall  many times ,  so long as they could rise once more, they won another day . the living must live — that was their burden .

but  some  days ,  memories were less tolerable ,  less fond ,  less kind .  some days they hung around his neck like  dead  weight .  they acted like an anchor sitting on his chest, so heavy he couldn’t even  stand.

he fixes a careful look upon her ,  eyes searching for some hint of malice ,  some sign that with her wisdom some  acidic  statement  is coming . but the woman was like a fortress — he never saw the serene expression of hers waver in all the time he’d known her ,  no matter how harsh the circumstance or how venomous her words .  he chooses to believe her ,  then — giyuu was  far  more trusting than most would assume .

❛    —  there are some things … i can’t forget ,  not even for a moment .  and then i feel guilty for wanting to . do you ever …   ❜  he hesitates ,  but presses on ,  less from finding strength and more from the fear that if he doesn’t finish this question ,  he never will .    ❛    — do you ever feel guilty for wanting peace ?  as though you were so used to conflict that a life without it would be too strange  ? as if …   ❜  as  if  those  left  behind  deserved  it  more .

twelve .     what is your muse’s love language?

denki is very physically affectionate .    most of ,   if not all of ,   his love language can be written through touch alone   ;   little idle strokes to his lover’s arms ,   cheeks ,   neck ,   be it from boredom or just to say “ i’m here with you ”.     leaning on them .    poking their nose .    touching foreheads .    some things less gentle ,   like smushing his lips up to their cheek and blowing a raspberry .    hanging off of them or shoving all his weight on them and going limp ,   just to be obnoxious    ----    anything to relay that he’s comfortable with that person ,   that he trusts them not to get sick of him if he pushes boundaries .

another visible sign of his affection is in body language .    when he’s smitten ,   like ,    genuinely enamored with someone ,   he blushes in the tips of his ears rather than his cheeks . he’ll then fluster for a full moment without necessarily smiling or looking content   ;   more so just like   ...   this shocked face ,   like ,   stumbling for a sec ,   sweating .    like  ‘ god damn ’  but internally and spread over his entire body .

sixteen .     does your muse believe in soulmates?

HE DOES !    or ,  rather ,    i think he’d really really like to .    he’s definitely someone who casts a lot of lines in the water and waits for something to bite ,   hoping that he’ll snag somebody good for him    ----    if anybody at all .    the idea of soulmates is perfectly romantic and befitting of someone as hopeless as him ,   but i think that as long as someone loves him right ,   then he’ll consider them ‘ meant ’  for him in some way or another .    it doesn’t have to be a perfect ,   flawless  love ,   doesn’t really have to have that  ‘ ZING ’ at first sight   ;   if his partner knows what they’re about and is willing to grow with him ,   then that’s soulmate material enough .

    ▹     with a loose grip, she folds her hands over kanao's. a smile pulls at shinobu's lips to accompany oncoming words. "i'm so proud of you. i don't say it often, but you've come so far. you're going to be so much greater than both kanae and i." she raises their hands to her face, giving her sisters knuckles a feather-light kiss. "my, i sound a lot like her right now, don't i?"   /   @shnbu​

it’s the simple comfort that soothes kanao the most:   like butterfly touches,   a gentle warmth akin to a candle’s flame.   her hand drifts towards it,   leaning upward if only to be a fraction of an inch closer to shinobu.   she revels in the sensation,   reminding herself of the pure fortune she has to be within the kocho estate.   by the sun god’s divine intervention,   by miracles upon miracles   ---   it has never been an easy life,   but she would relive it again and again if she would have her sisters’ smiles.

but shinobu’s words are terrifying.   kanao hasn’t been scared,   not in a long time,   for reasons that aren’t related to demons.   she’s scared because shinobu’s words have a sense of finality,   a finished ending to their not-happy-but-fulfilling story.   there’s still so much time though.   they are still so young.

yet lives can be lost within minutes.   happiness can be taken away just by looking away.   blink,   and you’ll miss it   ---   you’ll miss them. 

she’s lost one.   she can’t   ---   she doesn’t want to lose the other.

❝   ...   don’t say that,   shinobu-nee.   ❞   kanao replies after a moment,   mind reeling.   there’s nothing wrong with what shinobu says;   it’s a gentle sentiment,   a compliment she’ll hold dearly within her heart.   but when shinobu gingerly kisses her hands,   kanao shifts them to gently cup her sister’s cheeks.   she turns them to face her,   look her directly in the eyes   ---   determination set where once emptiness stood,   something she inherited from them.   ❝   you   ...   we have so much to learn.   so much to do.   you’re amazing and will get even better.   i’m nothing compared to you.   ❞

because she is not.   she is nothing more than an orphan,   a little thing from the streets taken in by their kindness and love.   if she holds strength,   then it is given by kanae and shinobu;   if she grows great,   then it would only be under the tutelage of shinobu   ---   of kanae as well,   if she could still be here.   everything she is:   it is because of them.   she is nothing without them.

❝   if you’re alive   ---   then i won’t surpass you,   right   ?   ❞