#shizukani

it’s in the warmth of your arms, the soft sighs you make (when you think no one is there), the rustle of your robes, the chime of the bells in your hair. it’s in the charms you weave for me (one for each year i’ve known you), crimson and gold and sky in your thread, patiently, meticulously, prayers in your every breath. i find it in the light of your eyes, in the way you look at everything you see like the gods have just made the world anew. you see beauty in everything (and i start to see it too). it’s in the way i feel something missing when your hand isn’t somewhere on my arm. i shiver from a cold i’ve never known because it’s only without you that i truly feel alone

through thick and thin and the in-between times, through those razor sharp moments that carve creases in your brow, when your blades collapse in on yourself, when your stone face is weathered by tears every time you watch her smile even when you know it isn't for you, and when you get tired of catching what she leaves behind or even if you never do, i'll be here for you. because in those seconds of you that i keep for myself --the way your mask wrinkles every time you grin, that gleam in your eyes that never quite leaves, your laughter and silence (that both speak volumes)-- i find my peace, my blessing and my curse. you hush my demons and lay them to rest you take the worst of me and force out my best so even if i must live only half a life, i've done worse. i'll make do.  i'll always be here for you.